I feel like my cousin might steal my thunder at my wedding
Original post by pa56
Some background: In Indian culture, you usually introduce your boyfriend to the family after you've decided he's the one and you both have talked about marriage. Indian parents don't understand dating. They feel the engagement time is dating because then it's socially acceptable to be seen in public together. Now this is a very antiquated view on things but some indian parents are still mentally living in the 50s.
My cousin asked me if she could bring a friend to my wedding. I said sure. My cousin is very caring and often goes out of her way for others so I had no second thought about saying yes to her. Later, I find out this 'friend' is her boyfriend who half the family has never met!! So now, she and her man are going to be the talk of the town at my wedding. I just know it. I don't think you should introduce your boyfriend (who in our culture, is just as good as a fiance) at someone else's wedding!!! Do it at your own house!!! It's basically like her getting engaged at my wedding. I don't like it!
Any thoughts on how I should handle this? I know I should just let it go because it's seemingly petty in the grand scheme of things, but....
pa56
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Re: I feel like my cousin might steal my thunder at my wedding
He is flying in Friday night. The wedding is Saturday afternoon. So I guess she isn't planning on introducing him before since there is no time.
Future Mrs Roo
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she needs to introduce him to everyone BEFORE your wedding.
soon2BMrsin08
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Im in a bit of a similar situation my self. My cousin just had a baby and my wedding is the first time most of the family will see him. Basically a baby showcase. Only for me I have no choice they are out of town and with the baby only a few months old there is no one to leave him with. She is breast feeding so he has to come. I have no choice so i am definitely a bit bummed about this. It is fustrating!!
PegaLega
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Re: I feel like my cousin might steal my thunder at my wedding
Maybe they intend on having him meet the family between now and your wedding?
I would talk to her and say something to that affect-like he HAS met the family right? and when she says no ask when he is going to meet them-if she brings up your wedding then talk to her about it..
pa56
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Posted by PegaLega
Maybe they intend on having him meet the family between now and your wedding?
I would talk to her and say something to that affect-like he HAS met the family right? and when she says no ask when he is going to meet them-if she brings up your wedding then talk to her about it..
He lives in California and is not coming to the east coast until Friday October 3 - which is the night before the wedding. He starts his new job in San Francisco in early August and can't take any time off until October. He lands VERY late so there is no chance of seeing him before the wedding.
carolinebr
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Re: I feel like my cousin might steal my thunder at my wedding
Who cares if he bought his plane ticket. Honestly, that's not your problem. Don't put yourself in an uncomfortable position on your WEDDING DAY because you are worried that a complete stranger already bought his ticket
Can you say something to her like :
'Cousin, I've really been thinking about it. I know I said you could bring a friend but I didn't realize it was going to be a new boyfriend. This presents an issue for me. I know it sounds silly to you, but this is my wedding day & I am very upset at the prospect of my wedding coming in second place to your big news. The timing just isn't going to work for me. I'm sorry to go back on my word but my wedding isn't the appropriate place for his introduction to the family. I hope you understand.'
pa56
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Re: I feel like my cousin might steal my thunder at my wedding
Posted by carolinebr
Who cares if he bought his plane ticket. Honestly, that's not your problem. Don't put yourself in an uncomfortable position on your WEDDING DAY because you are worried that a complete stranger already bought his ticket
Can you say something to her like :
'Cousin, I've really been thinking about it. I know I said you could bring a friend but I didn't realize it was going to be a new boyfriend. This presents an issue for me. I know it sounds silly to you, but this is my wedding day & I am very upset at the prospect of my wedding coming in second place to your big news. The timing just isn't going to work for me. I'm sorry to go back on my word but my wedding isn't the appropriate place for his introduction to the family. I hope you understand.'
This is good advice. I will give it a shot. This cousin's brother is also bringing his girlfriend to my wedding but we've all known her for over a year so it's not big news. Such drama!!
GinaZ
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Posted by krislee316
I would take her out to lunch and explain how u feel and tell her to introduce him prior to ur wedding because your wedding is supposed to be about u and not her!!! good luck
