my save the dates came in the mail yesterday & i was so excited to have received them. even more excited because i have the time this weekend to address them all. FH & i loved how they came out. my mom wanted to see them so i stuck one in an envelope so she could get the full effect. the envelope matches & our return address is on it already so it looks super fancy. when she sees the envelope she says, 'oh how nice.' then she takes out the card & goes, 'oh why did you put chris's name first, your name is suppose to go first.' (honestly i had no idea) i originally had my name first but since FH's name is longer it looked better first. at this point she puts it on table & leaves the room. so i got annoyed and said, 'you had to find something wrong with it, didn't you?' so my mom tells me that etiquette says my name always goes first. so i told her that if she wants them reprinted she can pay for them. i have 70 of these things sitting in my house & i am not wasting all of them because of this. never mind the fact they took me 2 hours to design & i love the way they look.
should i make her repurchase them all or use the ones i have???
MrsC2010
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Re: i feel so miserable
i have heard that the girls name goes first, but honestly i dont think its that big of a deal...no one will probably notice...i would just send them as is!
AdriandSteve
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Re: i feel so miserable
Just leave it. I doubt the majority of people will even notice.
Lsorrent
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Re: i feel so miserable
*Technically* your name is supposed to go first. BUT, I don't think it's that big of a deal. Are people really going to look at it and say 'oh well why isn't Christine's name first???' I doubt it. I'd just send them as-is.
Nobody will notice about that. Just use them, in the grand scheme of things its not something anyone will ever recall or probably even notice. Not worth it to order new ones...
barbtony
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Re: i feel so miserable
IMO, If you like them and you dont mind that FH's name is first, use them.
Jenna_and_John
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Re: i feel so miserable
Yes if you get real technical with it the girls name should go first BUT my fsil did her save the dates and put her fh's name first and it looks totallyyy fine and no one said anything. Leave them we all saw them and loved them, you did a great job, smile!!
christine2010
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Re: i feel so miserable
thank you for all your kind words. IMO its one small thing & i am sure i will feel better once they are all mailed out.
i really had no idea that it mattered. but since then i have read about 15 different websites about etiquette for these type of things & now i know.
Rosalind_75
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Re: i feel so miserable
I think you should leave it.' No one will notice. jmo we all looked at it. i cant believe no one brought it up/ i dont get why the female name needs to go first anyway. i hate this because fh is paying for 80percent of this wedding. i makes me feel weird
but when you address an envelope isnt it mr. first?
etiquette can be such a pain in the butt.
you worked so hard on it!!! be proud of the work you did
grrulz
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Re: i feel so miserable
if you are really traditional then i would change it but if you don't mind then don't! seriously people do lots of things now with weddings that you don't have to follow the 'etiquette'
KRISTIND
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Re: i feel so miserable
the only reason you put the guys name firsat is because you arent supposed to separate him from his last name....on a save the date you are still retaining your last name and he his or neither of you has a last name...in either instance it shouldn't matter!!!!! ps your mom sounds exactly like my mom!!!! im sure they are gorgeous!!!!! send them as is!!!!
MayBride2010
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Re: i feel so miserable
Posted by Lsorrent
*Technically* your name is supposed to go first. BUT, I don't think it's that big of a deal. Are people really going to look at it and say 'oh well why isn't Christine's name first???' I doubt it. I'd just send them as-is.
ita
T E R I
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Re: i feel so miserable
It is the proper etiquette for your name to go first, but being that you have them already and it doesn't bother you, I would send them. No one is going to notice
JillandJoe
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Re: i feel so miserable
my mom does the same crap! no one will care who's name is first. I never even knew there was a rule or anything. dont worry!!
rocketsummer17
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Re: i feel so miserable
Posted by T E R I
It is the proper etiquette for your name to go first, but being that you have them already and it doesn't bother you, I would send them. No one is going to notice
ita
Its2Snappy
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Re: i feel so miserable
I wouldn't worry about it AT ALL. Go ahead and send them out.
emc282rjm
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Re: i feel so miserable
I agree with the other girls...if it doesn't bother YOU, then leave it. NO ONE will notice, and if they do, they certainly won't judge your whole wedding by it.
Unless you wanted to be a biotch and make your mom pay for a whole new set, just to spite her for being picky...ha!
christine2010
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Re: i feel so miserable
Posted by emc282rjm
I agree with the other girls...if it doesn't bother YOU, then leave it. NO ONE will notice, and if they do, they certainly won't judge your whole wedding by it.
Unless you wanted to be a biotch and make your mom pay for a whole new set, just to spite her for being picky...ha!
i considered it but then i realized that i will have to also get additional postage because i wont have them in time to mail them out before the increase. i would be more annoyed to have an ugly 0.02 cent stamp on the envelope.
little j
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Re: i feel so miserable
IMHO, save the dates are more of an informal, cute, courtesy thing. so it doesnt matter.
your name will/can go first on the wedding invites, which is the more formal thing
since you designed it and you love the way they look, who cares!!! just send it!!
tell your mom there is no etiquette for STDs since its a newer, trendier (lol) thing. you can save the etiquette for teh FORMAL wedding invites.
sorry you have to deal with this tho
JAAMS
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Re: i feel so miserable
I'm sorry you're having a rough day
IMHO, it doesn't matter whose name goes first. I'm not traditional though, so all the little odds & ends of tradition really don't matter to me.
However, if you are very traditional and want to keep the STDs in tone with that- yes, 'technically' the bride's name goes first.
Does it matter or change anything in my opinion? No.
