I just got a call from my brother he said he is getting married, my first reaction was OMG now I can have a planning partner, well his first comment was (since you have not find a hall yet tell us which one's you are thing about and what colors you think you are thinking about giving because my FW don't want anything like you and she thinks we should get married a month before you because we need more help). And he goes on to say since my FW taste is very much different I don't think we should have a problem.
I just started crying
I need a hug
MsKitty1274
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Re: I feel so sad....
I think it's grea that he asked about the halls and colors. But as far as wanting to have it a month before you b/c they need more help was a little out of place. I think if your parents are helping to pay for either you and your brother should sit down with your parents and talk it all out. If your parents are NOT contributing, then whose wedding is first due to financial necessity is not a concern.
Good Luck!!!
WedHead
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Re: I feel so sad....
That's ridiculous - so sorry. If he hasn't booked yet, nor have you, how can he have it a month before. God, I'd almost be tempted to let them book and then book yours, a month before theirs. But, I know that's childish, but I'd be tempted. Now that you both have weddings coming up, I'd def. sit down with all those contributing and figure out something fair.
finallygotthering
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Re: I feel so sad....
At first FH and I wanted to pay for everything ourselves but my Parents wants to pay for the hall, and we would do the rest, I just feel upset because I thought my brother and I had a better relationship. I really like his FW but I guess she don't like me as much I thought.
WedHead
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Re: I feel so sad....
Unfortunately, people turn into their alter-ego's sometimes when planning a wedding. I'm sure she likes you but I guess she's just being selfish and looking out for herself. If you're parents already agreed to pay for your hall, then will they stick to that or change b/c your brother is getting married? Are her parents not in the position to help?
esb980
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Re: I feel so sad....
Awwww I'm sorry this happened.
BRIDEMICHELE
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Re: I feel so sad....
That's too bad. Your brother has managed to ruin a great moment. And I think it's wrong for him to pick a date so close to yours. You got engaged first so you get first dibs. He should have to pick a date that's at least six months apart from yours.
enjft
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Re: I feel so sad....
Your brother really has some nerve but please dont let that stop you from being happy. when i am down planning my weddign is the only thing that makes me feel better.
babybug631
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Re: I feel so sad....
I don't think he meant to be mean. It's nice that he wanted to know what you were doing first so he doesn't step on your toes. As for the date of the wedding, he could have kept that part to himself. I'm sure your parents will figure out a way to be fair to the both of you.
I think if anyone should be mad it would be your parents, because now they have to chip in for 2 weddings, Ugghhh. I know my parents would feel stressed.
I know I have completely different taste than my FSIL, and we both know that. It's not a bad thing.
You have to look at it in a positive light and celebrate both your marriages.
PS--if he gets married first, you'll know how to top his wedding.
janelovesharry
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Re: I feel so sad....
Here are lot of hugs
070306
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Re: I feel so sad....
I am so sorry. Your brother should get married after you. You were engaged first and they shouldn't take that away from you.... did you talk to your parents!!
agentangel
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Re: I feel so sad....
Wow that's a lot of nerve to say that. Is he your older or younger brother? It sounds like he's being more of a mouthpiece for his FW. Don't worry - it will work out for the best in the end.
lacey&mark
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Re: I feel so sad....
i would be upset too. was he maybe trying to be funny with the having it a month before you thing? i can say first hand that family stuff gets wierd when it comes to weddings. my brother and his fi booked their wedding date for a little over 2 months earlier than our date...i was very annoyed by this bc i don't want our wedding to be like 'deja vu'. best of luck dealing with your brother and his fi through the planning process. be prepared for anything. ~lacey
Beth1210
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Re: I feel so sad....
PS--if he gets married first, you'll know how to top his wedding.
don't let him ruin a thing for you!
DrBeLLaRoSe
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Re: I feel so sad....
i know exactly how you feel. people can become very selfish when it has to do with their own wedding, and they seem to forget common decency. It is difficult when a sibling is getting married at the same time as you, since you are so close you will be sharing everything from planning ideas to guests. It seems kinda weird to me to have two weddings in the same family so close to each other, but that seems to happen so often. i guess when it rains it pours, and the people close to you all start getting bit by the wedding bug.
at least you should be happy your brother asked for your opinion, even though he did it quite rudely. use this as your opportunity to get your views across to him. maybe you could all sit down together and choose wedding dates that would be far enough apart to make everyone happy? good luck with this situation. i have been through it myself and i know that it will get better with time.
finallygotthering
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Re: I feel so sad....
Thanks, Ladies
I just spoke to my Brother, he said he did not mean to hurt my feelings, I told him that I don't mind that his FW don't want anything that I will be having, I also told him why did he pick a date before mine he said THAT IS WHAT SHE WANTED,
TracyInQueens
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Re: I feel so sad....
Posted by finallygotthering
Thanks, Ladies
I just spoke to my Brother, he said he did not mean to hurt my feelings, I told him that I don't mind that his FW don't want anything that I will be having, I also told him why did he pick a date before mine he said THAT IS WHAT SHE WANTED,
Well, it's more of a reflection on her, IMO. I don't think that's a nice thing to do. It'd be one thing if they were going to have a short engagement, but to decide to get married a month before you? Tacky.
DrBeLLaRoSe
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Re: I feel so sad....
so are they definitely going to get married a month before you?
maybe the can get married before you, but does it have to be only one month? maybe the can do 4-6 months?
finallygotthering
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Re: I feel so sad....
yes they will get married sometime in April, I never asked the exact date, I just need to get my plannings done, I am not being selfish but I just have to think about the biggest day of my life
lacey&mark
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Re: I feel so sad....
I also told him why did he pick a date before mine he said THAT IS WHAT SHE WANTED,
wow, thats exactly what my brother said!!! lol. he told my mom that he told his fi that the date was too close to mine and that it wasn't right, but that is what SHE wants. he told my fi the same thing when he asked him if we were upset about their date (my fi told him no, but i would have told him we were a little annoyed). i think we both have selfish fsil's!! now i hear stuff from my mom about their wedding that annoys me, like how i got nervous when they sent STDs with fish hooks bc i thought they might be doing a nautical theme too. my mom asked and she said they weren't that they were having an elegant wedding. lol, like i'm not? grrrrrrrr. like i said before, be prepared for anything! try to concentrate on your planning and try not to let it become a competition, which might be what SHE wants. ~lacey
