I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (Vent- long)

Hi girls,

So far you have been my sanity so I thought I would share....
My surprise bridal shower was yesterday. It actually turned out very beautiful and a lot of people were there. My parents (and believe it or not it was mostly my dad Mr. Latin Macho himself!) did all the planning and work. I was really touched to see my dad with the video camera when I first walked in..he got my whole reaction on tape. I guess they did it early to totally throw me off.

I got a few duplicate gifts. Apparently Bed Bath & Beyond updates their computers every 2 days. Also some guests did complain that they went to different locations and a lot of things on my registry were out of stock! So I ended up getting things that were not on my registry. On a happy note I did get mostly everything I wanted and some surprise gifts that were very much appreciated. (My parents also gave us money towards a mattress).

WARNING VENTING BEGINNING HERE:
I am somewhat sad though that after everything was said and done...my mom who has been VERY ill and has trouble walking...said she got absolutely NO HELP from my MOH or my bridesmaids. My mom is very sweet and just decided to do everything on her own with my dad's help (that's how he ended up getting involved). She said that she had called them in the beginning but they never called her back to follow-up. She said that some of my other friends offered to help her when they called to RSVP. But my bridal party was the last to RSVP and my male cousin HAD TO TELL THEM to call my mom because my mom needed a headcount. My mom said that during the party my MOH approached my aunt and told her that she was sorry she didn't do anything but she is going to school etc. My aunt told her in a nice way that they were not expecting financial help but it would have been nice if they helped call people or help plan or even offer to help decorate or offer people soda!

SIGH...sorry this is so long but I know someone out there will give me words of encouragement. I choose these girls because they are my lifelong childhood friends...we even introduce each other as 'cousins'...but sometimes people will disappoint you. I'm not angry just extremly hurt and sad that I chose the wrong people to be in my bridal party. I came home and started crying in my FH's arms...and even he later confided that he knew about this all along but couldn't say anything.

Anyway thank you for listening.

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (MEGA MEGA long)

Irenie,
Firt off Congrats on your shower!
You are so lucky to have such loving & wonderful parents!
Your bridal party sounds very rude & selfish!
My god, I would have helped your mom! Honestly!
That is so sad.
You realize in life who your real friends are at times like this.
Just remember how they acted towards you and move on.
Just think your shower was yesterday! How exciting. I think mine will be a little early too, they wanna throw me off so bad too!

Jenn

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (MEGA MEGA long)

Thanks Jenn!

I am trying to focus on the positive and how great my family is. I wrestle with a lot of sad feeling towards them. This news too just added to my stress. I just hope I don't blow up on them..I still have 2 months until the wedding...I'm trying to hang in there!

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (MEGA MEGA long)

Congrats on your shower. It's great that you were surprised. I'm in the same boat as you...three members of my bridal party (first cousins & we grew up like sisters) did not offer to help my sister & mom in my shower at all. They also didn't come to by bachelorette party and didn't even bother to call me to give me an excuse. I was very disappointed but realized people are just inconsiderate and rude.

Good luck with everything!

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (MEGA MEGA long)

I also have picked lifelong friends, and so far 2 have been disappointing me, the rest have been great, Try to hang in there. I am finding that a wedding brings out a lot of jealousy in people. They would not like it if it was done to them. I have one BM who does not want to order her dress until the least possible moment becuase she cannot deceide if she wants to be pregnant and another one who is hard to get a hold of on the phone, funny thing is that it was not so hard to get her before the planning started! Congratulations on the shower and the upcoming wedding. I hope your Mom feels better soon. We are here for you if you need to vent.

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (MEGA MEGA long)

Irenie,

Congrats on a beautiful shower. About your BP, I have to admit, they acted very selfishly and rude. I would be upset also. With your wedding 2 months ahead, I have to say try not to let it stress you out. You've learned something new about your lifelong friends, and it's at times like these, you learn the most, who you can and cannot count on.
Now you know you have a fabulous family !!

Try not to stress to much, you have a new life and new husband to look forward to. Hopefully your BP will shape up before your wedding.

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (MEGA MEGA long)

Congrats on the shower!!!! Just don't stress out too much. Enjoy your new beginnings......

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (Vent- long)

I'm happy the shower went so well for you and I feel awful about your lazy BP. That is just not right!! I wish I had words of encourgament for you. Unfortunately it seems that weddings can make stronger friendships or break what we thought to be a strong one and as Liz said above, hopefully these friends will shape up before the wedding. Your FH must have been dying not being able to tell you this. At least you know you have one good friend in your BP, that's your groom. Try to cheer up. I might even muster up the energy to calmy express your disappointment with all of them.

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (Vent- long)

For whatever my 2 cents is worth, I think you should definitely say something to them. I mean you were nice enough to invite them to be part of your day by having them in your bp. And everyone pretty much knows what they're getting into by accepting the honor. So, if they weren't going to come through 100% for you - they should've declined the offer.
I'm sorry. I think it's a total sign of disrespect. But, try to cheer up - it's over and done with now. All you can do is look towards the future. And be happy knowing you will be marrying your best friend - your FI.

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (Vent- long)

Glad to hear you had a happy shower, more or less.

Re: your BM...try not to let their inconsideration be a dark cloud over your day. As the other ladies here said, it's incredible how the best and worst of friends seem to come out when you are planning a wedding. On the bright side, it sounds like you have an incredible mom and dad! Isn't it nice to see how happy and excited they are for you?????

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (Vent- long)

Glad you found some happiness in the whole day. Don't feel bad with my mom being sick as well I planned most of my shower. I even had to deal with the headache of people responding. My bridal party hasn't been involved at all.

You live and learn but can't let it ruin things for you. Your mom and dad were very happy to have done it for you I am sure and seeing you enjoy made them happy as well.

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (Vent- long)

I feel so sad for your mom
that was so not nice of your BP

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (Vent- long)

im happy that you had such a nice shower....please don't be too upset about your friends....my FH said the same thing about my BP, the girls didnt really do much for helping out with stuff....he felt bad that my mom was doing all the work for my shower.....but i told him that i guess even though our wedding is the center of our lives right now, other people are happy but still have busy schedules....im sure your friends love you very much, and im sure they just didn't 'think'....please dont be soured by this....

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (Vent- long)

You girls are the best!

Thanks for the encouragement...sometimes its just nice to know you are not over-reacting. I think that in order to save the friendship I will have to be the one to take the high road...as you said I can only hope that they become more involved towards the end. My MOH called me yesterday not to apologize but suddenly offer to buy the bubbles for the wedding..hey at least she's starting somewhere.

Re: I had my surprise bridal shower yesterday (Vent- long)

Glad you are feeling better. You never know maybe they will come up big for your bachelorette party. When it is all said and done nothing else but you and your new hubby will matter. All the 'bad' stuff and stress will be behind you and you will be HAPPY as Mr. Mrs.!!