The other day, while at FIL's house, FSIL was trying to make a list of who would be at her table at the wedding. She listed all of her young single cousins with 'guests or dates'. I quickly nipped that in the bud by saying 'IF we invite people with guests'.
It is acceptable to invite people with guests if they are living with, engaged to or dating someone for a significant amount of time. I explained the etiquette to FSIL and chose my words carefully. This wedding cannot be a free-for-all. My family is making the wedding. (I assure you I did NOT say that). Of course FH's sisters should be invited with guests - they are his sisters.
This was right in front of FMIL who did not say much but nodded her head. She had made a preliminary list of people so we had an idea when we book a place to make sure the room could hold our amount of guests - big or small. I think she said nothing appearances sake but will give FH grief for it later.
Should I have said anything? What do you guys think?
VogueBride
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Re: I had to say it...
you were 100% in the right. she apparently didnt understand, and i think your FMIL prob agreed with you more than you think!
Goldi1021
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Re: I had to say it...
Posted by marymoon
It's really NICE if you CAn invite everyone with a guest, but for some people that's just not possibke, and keep in mind that this may compel some people who don;t have bf's or gf s oto just go out and FIND a date specifically for the wedding, just to bring someone, so you'll be paying for someone who is just there by defauly, and chances are if they're not a couple, they may not be giving a gift as a cpuple, so your gal pal might only give a gift as if she's going alone. She might not want to fork over another $100 bucks or so just b/c she brought a date. I know it sounds crass, but it's something to think about.
I agree with you on this. When I have brought dates to functions, I always give a much bigger gift to at least cover the cost per head of me and my guest and it is a financial strain on me. It is also an imposition on my younger less financially established guests.
Posted by VogueBride
you were 100% in the right. she apparently didnt understand, and i think your FMIL prob agreed with you more than you think!
I think you are right. I think in the back of her mind she knows that unless she is willing to pay for those extra people, that it will just be too expensive.
Blu-ize
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Re: I had to say it...
You don't have to invite anyone you don't want, period, end of story. Momma Goldi is paying!!!
Kiddo115
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Re: I had to say it...
I can't stand people who feel it is their place to invite the whole world, when they aren't chipping in a dime.... I am really frustrated with both sides of our families, cause everyone seems to think they earned the right to invited whom ever they wish.
Stick to your guns... I appreciate your guest list situation.. ours is fastly approaching 350 and I'm starting to come undone!
Goldi1021
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Re: I had to say it...
Wow 350! Good luck to you!!!
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: I had to say it...
We are inviting our single people (cousins, friends) with guest. There aren't really too many (most are married), and if we need those extra people to meet our minimum. However that is our unique situation, and when the 'and guests' start to get out of control, you have to draw the line somewhere.
Just wanted to add: I was invited to a wedding where I was not invited with a guest. (I wasn't dating anyone at the time). I thought it was strange, and since I wasn't really very close with the couple, I felt I was being invited just to make a minimum. However, I had a blast at the wedding, and once i was there,I didn't care about the guest thing anymore.
