i may be the only one who says this, but i hate oprah. she's on right now interviewing lance armstrong's exwife and she's so uneducated about marriage. she said 'marriage is all about sacrificing yourself and putting your feelings aside for the man and losing the real you. that's why i never got married.' well, that's paraphrased, but you get the idea. but what kinda crap is that? lance armstrong's ex was like, 'well, no that's not what marriage is about, that's when marriage ends in divorce. when you have a good marriage you're both equals.'
but what a terrible thing to say, especially in such a high influence place that she's in. yes, some marriages are like that, but definitely not all and it just really pisses me off that she made that generalization. grr..
ok, i feel better now.
Gin-Char 104
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
i saw that too and called my MOH and said OMG i think oprah is BASHing marrage.....than she says on air 'i am not bashing marrage' it's just not for me.......i mean they all had a point but i think communication is KEY to any relationship...girl/girl...boy/boy...girl/boy!!!!! i think i am still going to buy the book thought...heheheheheh
BunnyBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
OMG..that is really messed up.
She has never been married right?
If so, then what the hell does she know about marriage?
betani
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
Posted by BunnyBride
OMG..that is really messed up.
She has never been married right?
If so, then what the hell does she know about marriage?
heh! that's what i said. i mean, yes there are marriages like that, but not all of them! and to go and make those statements... grr... just makes me mad! (i get a lot of that from my fmil and her mom so i'm tired of it.) then she said she wasn't bashing marriage - i think she just got embarrased b/c she got corrected by her guest on air.
oh well, i didn't like oprah that much to begin with, so it's not a total loss, just frustrating.
afrodyt2000
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
I really didn't take it that way and I am not a huge Oprah fan either. I took it as Oprah saying that society makes it seem like to be a good wife you need to take care of the needs of your husband and children and many women lose themselves in that process. They give up parts of themselves to make their husbands lives easier or whatever and then lots of times they end up divorcing because they weren't honest about what they really wanted, who they are etc. I personally thought the show was an exaggeration since I've never felt that way but I've been with FH for going on 9 years so I know him really well and we're pretty open and honest with each other. I thought the show more focused on couples that maybe rushed into getting married without thinking of the marriage and how they'd live, what they wanted out of life, etc. Also I don't think that a person who's never been married shouldn't have an opinion on marriage. A person can have an opinion without having done something.
betani
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
no, i agree you can have an opinion without having done something, but i also think she over generalized which is a BIG pet peeve of mine. she seemed a little bitter - like she had a bad experience and that soured her whole interpretation of marriage, which is her right, but i don't think she should make it law for everyone else. i don't know. i don't really like oprah in the first place and as i said before, my fmil and fh's grandma keep throwing this in my face ('every marriage ends in divorce,' 'i don't think you should get married, just stay engaged,' etc.) so i'm kinda sensitive about the subject.
sarahthegreat
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
i think its harder for someone who has never been married, to have an idea of what marriage is really like. yes, she can have her thoughts and opinions, but how much can you know about something you have never experienced for yourself?
afrodyt2000
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
I think you can know a lot about something you've never experienced yourself. Depending on if you've done research, what you've seen, how you've lived your life. I know lots about children and pregnancy but never been there. I wouldn't classify myself as an expert but I don't think Oprah was doing that either just explaining why she felt the way she does about marriage.
sarahthegreat
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
i think its much harder to know about something you've never experienced, not that you can't know anything about it. but i was just watching this and i see where these brides get so caught up in all the hoop-la of the wedding.
Imagimmie
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
Girl, I hate her too!
rachel212
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
well, I guess I'm the minority here. I'm with Adana on this. I think she can have an opinion on marriage, She's been with her boyfriend for close to 20 years - what's the difference other than a legal document?? I know i'm going to get bashed for this, but IJMO.
afrodyt2000
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
lol Rachel I guess we'll both be flamed then. I agree with you not that I don't think marriage is special but being in a long successful relationship to me is close to the same level of a marriage. I have heard of people tell others that it's so different when your married when these people have been in relationships for years, live together and share a life together. Everything but the legal document saying that they're married. I personally don't think a marriage of say 1 year is better or more important or more significant than a relationship of 20 years.
betani
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
Posted by rachel212
well, I guess I'm the minority here. I'm with Adana on this. I think she can have an opinion on marriage, She's been with her boyfriend for close to 20 years - what's the difference other than a legal document?? I know i'm going to get bashed for this, but IJMO.
no i think that's fine. (heh, i didn't mean to start a debate with the fear of 'bashing') everyone's entitled to their opinion - even oprah. =0P i don't think that her opinion lacks value b/c she's never been married, i think it's up for discusion b/c she seems to not want to see the issue from the other side. why is marriage so evil? as you said: 'She's been with her boyfriend for close to 20 years - what's the difference other than a legal document??'* why doesn't she look at a marriage as a good, equal relationship or at relationships as being as 'evil' as marriage? wouldn't she not be with her significant other (or any significant other, ever) if that was the case?
*there's a lot of difference legally, but i didn't think that's what we were discussing here
sarahthegreat
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
i'm not bashing or flaming. but i couldn't get over some of the comments she made, like 'til death do us part is a long time.'
but watever, i'm not about to change her mind
afrodyt2000
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
Posted by betani
*there's a lot of difference legally, but i didn't think that's what we were discussing here
Definitely not what we're discussing as I know about the legal ramifications for ending a marriage. I took family law in law school. Just saying that the significance of a lengthy relationship in my opinion is just as important as or even more important than a short marriage. I think it's just a pet peeve of mine when people say 'oh you don't get it, wait till you get married' when their entire relationship, marriage included is like less than half the time of my entire relationship (including the fact that we've lived together for over a year).
afrodyt2000
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
Posted by sarahthegreat
i'm not bashing or flaming. but i couldn't get over some of the comments she made, like 'til death do us part is a long time.'
but watever, i'm not about to change her mind
See those comments didn't bother me because I interpreted it more to be about people who get caught up in the whirl-wind of wedding planning and the ring and all that than to really sit down and discuss all the important things with their fiance then when it comes out there are problems. I mean there are people that don't discuss whether or not they want to have kids or how many kids they want and that can cause so many problems.
betani
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
Posted by afrodyt2000
Posted by sarahthegreat
i'm not bashing or flaming. but i couldn't get over some of the comments she made, like 'til death do us part is a long time.'
but watever, i'm not about to change her mind
See those comments didn't bother me because I interpreted it more to be about people who get caught up in the whirl-wind of wedding planning and the ring and all that than to really sit down and discuss all the important things with their fiance then when it comes out, problems. I mean there are people that don't discuss whether or not they want to have kids or how many kids they want and that can cause so many problems.
i was taking it kinda that way too until she said 'that's why i never got married.' something about that turned me off.
I'm NEVER getting married!!! It's for SUCKERS!!! Oh, there goes sucker now on his way to the bathroom!
KD1279
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
great job jiffy
daniebc16
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate oprah
i was taking it kinda that way too until she said 'that's why i never got married.' something about that turned me off.
Well, I like Oprah, however in this situation what she is saying def. does annoy me. For as strong as Oprah says she is, she is obviously not strong enough, nor does she trust herself enough to give herself completely to someone else.
