i have a bit of a problem ****update****

My MOH has been really busy lately. too busy to even call my mom to help plan the shower! my mom called her over a week ago to see what she has planned so far and set up a meeting but she was too busy to call her back. Makes me belive she is too busy to be my MOH. she doesnt pick up the phone at all. can`t even send an email to my mom with the info let alone call me! i was giving her some space cuz she broke things off with her FH a few months ago. she claimed to be ok with my wedding stuff but i felt she deserived a break from havin to hear about it. to be completly honest i haven`t seen her since the week of x-mas when i stopped by her job to give her her gift cuz thats how hard it is to contact her! now i know we are all busy and we have to make adjustments but shes my MOH and supposid best friend.....that i haven`t talked to in months! i shouldn`t have to be stressing about this 4 months before my wedding! am i over reacting??? i told her today that i love her and i want her at my wedding but i don`t think she should be the MOH......HELP



****update****

i decided to bring this up to another good friend of mine. she asked a while back if there was a way she could be involved with the wedding, at that time i didn`t know how or where to add her in, i explained the whole situation saying i`m sorry there is no way to ask this with out making it sound bad but would you be willing to step in to the spot? she said yes!!! and she has been more helpful in these few days then anyone!!! i am grateful for everything the prior MOH did...but that was months ago and now i just need to move foward. i still have not had much of a chance to talk to the ex MOH but i`m starting to really get sick of chasing people!! just wanted to update you and thank you girlies for the advice and support!

I'm sorry that you are going through this.
This is a little more sensitive then a normal MOH acting this way because she broke up with her FH. I would talk to her again and really make sure that this has nothing to do with that. If she was supposed to be planning her wedding now too this could be very hard for her and she just doesn't want you to know how she is hurting.

yea that's not right. Any way you can add another MOH who is more dependable and interested right now?

Sorry

It may be hard for her to deal with her own break up and then put that aside for celebrating you and your special day. I would keep trying to get together for lunch or something non wedding related. Maybe the movies and a bite to eat?
Dont give up on her.
HTH

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Posted by alissa5517

I'm sorry that you are going through this.
This is a little more sensitive then a normal MOH acting this way because she broke up with her FH. I would talk to her again and really make sure that this has nothing to do with that. If she was supposed to be planning her wedding now too this could be very hard for her and she just doesn't want you to know how she is hurting.

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It`s hard to talk to her, i have tried for a 2 week period i called her everyday once a day with no answer. then she finally called back and said she just needed space from everyone...ok that is fine i get that, then a few weeks later she fell off the face of the earth again 2 weeks called over and over no response. finally o got a text from her saying the only reason i call her is because i want her to talk to my mom and she blew it into this whole thing about how i don`t call her!! what the hell!!! did she not see the 14 calls!?! all these fights have gone on thru texts and i think thats just rude....like she is avoiding confromtation.

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Posted by missK

Sorry

It may be hard for her to deal with her own break up and then put that aside for celebrating you and your special day. I would keep trying to get together for lunch or something non wedding related. Maybe the movies and a bite to eat?
Dont give up on her.
HTH

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i didnt`t want to give up! i really didn`t but it`s hard when you are ignored for so long.

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Posted by anamaree77

yea that's not right. Any way you can add another MOH who is more dependable and interested right now?

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i do have a friend that i know would love to be involved but i don`t know how to ask without making it look bad.......

No I hate to be so blunt about it but she just has to go. It seems like ur being so sweet and understanding....but you only have a little time left until your wedding. You really REALLY need ur MOH right now to plan things and be excited with you and what she's doing isn't right. I'm sure it's not intentional but you have no time to try and figure it out or worry about her issues.

I really, truly don't mean to be so cold but i'm soooooooo tired of chasing people myself and am starting to put my foot down. Just tell her it's sweet of her to accept the position of MOH but you really need more support at this time, nothing personal, she can still be a BM.

Sorry you're going thru this.

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Posted by dangell427

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Posted by missK

Sorry

It may be hard for her to deal with her own break up and then put that aside for celebrating you and your special day. I would keep trying to get together for lunch or something non wedding related. Maybe the movies and a bite to eat?
Dont give up on her.
HTH

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i didnt`t want to give up! i really didn`t but it`s hard when you are ignored for so long.

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I totally agree with you..I was the MOH in my friends wedding while I had lost my job, broke up with my boyfriend, and have to move out of my apartment and even though I cried myself to sleep at night, I never once let her know that b/c it was her special time...I just leaned harder on my other friends. She should be there for you.

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Posted by anamaree77

No I hate to be so blunt about it but she just has to go. It seems like ur being so sweet and understanding....but you only have a little time left until your wedding. You really REALLY need ur MOH right now to plan things and be excited with you and what she's doing isn't right. I'm sure it's not intentional but you have no time to try and figure it out or worry about her issues.

I really, truly don't mean to be so cold but i'm soooooooo tired of chasing people myself and am starting to put my foot down. Just tell her it's sweet of her to accept the position of MOH but you really need more support at this time, nothing personal, she can still be a BM.

Sorry you're going thru this.

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thank you!! i really needed to hear that i think. in my heart i belive i already know my decsion i`m just scared to really admit it. to be honest i know i am not always there as much as she would like me to be.....but for diffrent things like going out with her friends that i don`t really know or going to the bars...i don`t do that too much anymore...kinda tryin to save!! but i didn`t think that would affect our relationship, i guess i was wrong. i`m not supposed to know about my shower let alone try to chase down the person who is supposed to plan it! she even told me today she`ll plan it on her own or let my mom plan it and she`ll help fund it. i was shocked!! i was like my mom wants to be involved and i don`t just want you there for your money!!!

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Posted by SparkyandAng

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Posted by dangell427

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Posted by missK

Sorry

It may be hard for her to deal with her own break up and then put that aside for celebrating you and your special day. I would keep trying to get together for lunch or something non wedding related. Maybe the movies and a bite to eat?
Dont give up on her.
HTH

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i didnt`t want to give up! i really didn`t but it`s hard when you are ignored for so long.

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I totally agree with you..I was the MOH in my friends wedding while I had lost my job, broke up with my boyfriend, and have to move out of my apartment and even though I cried myself to sleep at night, I never once let her know that b/c it was her special time...I just leaned harder on my other friends. She should be there for you.

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i wouldn`t want her to hide her feelings from me!! i love her and i want to know what she is going thru, i don`t want to over whelm her with this but it`s more then just what she feels inside right now it`s the matter of her not even having the time or the desire to be there.

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Posted by dangell427

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Posted by SparkyandAng

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Posted by dangell427

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Posted by missK

Sorry

It may be hard for her to deal with her own break up and then put that aside for celebrating you and your special day. I would keep trying to get together for lunch or something non wedding related. Maybe the movies and a bite to eat?
Dont give up on her.
HTH

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i didnt`t want to give up! i really didn`t but it`s hard when you are ignored for so long.

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I totally agree with you..I was the MOH in my friends wedding while I had lost my job, broke up with my boyfriend, and have to move out of my apartment and even though I cried myself to sleep at night, I never once let her know that b/c it was her special time...I just leaned harder on my other friends. She should be there for you.

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i wouldn`t want her to hide her feelings from me!! i love her and i want to know what she is going thru, i don`t want to over whelm her with this but it`s more then just what she feels inside right now it`s the matter of her not even having the time or the desire to be there.

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I am really sorry you are going through this. i think the reason I didn't let my friend now how I felt was b/c A. I didn't want to ruin the time for her and I got upset anytime I talked about my situation.

Good luck to you!!!

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Posted by SparkyandAng

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Posted by dangell427

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Posted by SparkyandAng

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Posted by dangell427

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Posted by missK

Sorry

It may be hard for her to deal with her own break up and then put that aside for celebrating you and your special day. I would keep trying to get together for lunch or something non wedding related. Maybe the movies and a bite to eat?
Dont give up on her.
HTH

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i didnt`t want to give up! i really didn`t but it`s hard when you are ignored for so long.

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I totally agree with you..I was the MOH in my friends wedding while I had lost my job, broke up with my boyfriend, and have to move out of my apartment and even though I cried myself to sleep at night, I never once let her know that b/c it was her special time...I just leaned harder on my other friends. She should be there for you.

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i wouldn`t want her to hide her feelings from me!! i love her and i want to know what she is going thru, i don`t want to over whelm her with this but it`s more then just what she feels inside right now it`s the matter of her not even having the time or the desire to be there.

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I am really sorry you are going through this. i think the reason I didn't let my friend now how I felt was b/c A. I didn't want to ruin the time for her and I got upset anytime I talked about my situation.

Good luck to you!!!

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thank you.....i really do need to think things over and hopefully get to sit down and talk to her rather then go thru texts.

Danielle,

Glad to hear that things are looking up. Sorry that you also had drama there.

xoxoxoxo

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Posted by Kimbalina

Danielle,

Glad to hear that things are looking up. Sorry that you also had drama there.

xoxoxoxo

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thanks kim!!!! xoxoxo


things are way less stressful now!