I have a complicated FMIL issue

Sandradv121 Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:04 PM

I have a complicated FMIL issue

My FMIL does not get along with my FSIL's mother. Why is this my problem? Well, for the wedding FSIL's mother assumes that she will be riding in a limo with my family and FH's immediate family. I found this out last night and got into a HUGE fight with Fh about it because he doesn't see the big deal with it... so in an act to prove my point, I went to his mother and told her everything, which in turn caused an even bigger fight.

The back story: everytime that we have an event with FH's immediate family, my FSIL's mother is involved. Now there are other siblings, but for some reason this woman feels a need to be up FSIL's a$$. She sits at main tables for immediate family events, she comes over (tags along) for immediate family dinners, usually uninvited, and consumes my FMIL's food and not contribute to anything (like she doesn't lift a finger). She trys to be in family pics, and she is just plain rude... and she has crossed me several times and my FMIL has had to get involved.

Now, my reason for having her in the limo is simple... she is not welcomed and my FMIL doesn't want her around... How do I drill this is FH's head and make him realize this! He's afraid of what the FSIL will say BUT I'm more concern about his mother's well being and also, thats a sit that can be given to one of my family members or FH's aunts....

I need advice... What can I do? How do we fix this? How do I make this woman disappear lol!?

grrulz Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:14 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

wow this is really a toughie i wouldn't know what to do in this situation but she should be going in a limo that's how i feel about it. This shouldn't be a reason for you and FH to argue maybe you should wait for things to calm down and then nicely you can talk it out when you are both on a great mood! good luck

mosh424 Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:16 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

This lady sounds rude!

You need to sit FH down and explain that she is trying to take the moment away from his parents. This is their son getting married not hers. She has no business being in the limo or in any family pictures. She is not related to him what so ever. Yes she is his SIL mother but that is it. Tell him that you really are unhappy about this. Hopefully he will understand

RitasEngaged Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:16 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

is this your FSIL through marriage? meaning she married into the family?

Sandradv121 Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:18 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

Posted by RitasEngaged

is this your FSIL through marriage? meaning she married into the family?

Yes. She is married into the family... and I am close to FSIL, she is in my bridal party, but her mother should be coming to wedding with FSIL's sister...not in the limo...ugh it pisses me off!

RitasEngaged Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:20 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

there is no need for her mom in the limo than

Sandradv121 Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:22 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

God I wish I give you FH's phone number and have you guys tell him! This woman is so intrusive!!!!! And Fh is so worried about the stink she'll make but I'm like than tell her not to come!!!! UGH what a bitter woman.

RitasEngaged Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:26 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

tell FH he can save about 1K if he knocks off half of the people he wants in the limos

RitasEngaged Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:27 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

the only parents that should be in limos are yours and his that is it

grkbarbie Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:29 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

i wish i coudl help but im soooooooooo confused

mosh424 Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:29 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

Posted by RitasEngaged

the only parents that should be in limos are yours and his that is it

ITA, no need for anyone else!

Sandradv121 Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:30 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

Posted by RitasEngaged

tell FH he can save about 1K if he knocks off half of the people he wants in the limos

Girl, I told him every hour on the hour today. Remember I was home with him all day and I think he was cursing the snow....

RitasEngaged Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:30 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

Posted by Sandradv121

Posted by RitasEngaged

tell FH he can save about 1K if he knocks off half of the people he wants in the limos

Girl, I told him every hour on the hour today. Remember I was home with him all day and I think he was cursing the snow....

Sandradv121 Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:31 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

Posted by grkbarbie

i wish i coudl help but im soooooooooo confused

Sorry mama....I warned its complicated.... just imagine living it lol...

grkbarbie Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:38 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

ur fmil isnt ur fsil's mother? im lostttt

little j Posted: Mar 02, 2009 08:57 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

sandra - i have a similiar situation. FSIL's MIL is very involved. Since i have known FH, she has been involved in all of the family functions and we also celebrate a belated christmas at her house. BUTTTTTT...I recently found out that her and her husband are pissed at me, FH and FH's family. Why?? Because they did not get to sit at the 'head table' during our e-party. Everyone kind of finds this ridiculous (at least FH, me and FH's parents are on the same page), not sure how FSIL and her husband feel. So our e-party was the end of november. And guess what....they did not show up for ANY of the holiday parties!! And we have a few (cmas eve, cmas, nye, new years, and the belated one they celebrate). They told us they were sick. But FH recently told me that was all a lie and they were mad.

But seriously...where should we have sat them? I think they are just used to be sitting next to FH's parents. But this is not their son's wedding anymore. ya know? Anyway, the tables at our e-party were packed anyway, so there wasnt even room if we wanted to move them closer. But really...why would we? this was a time for MY family and FH's family to sit together.

Seriously -- what is with people?!?!

I am not sure how we are going to deal with this situation in the future. I literally have not seen them since the end of November...

Good luck, girl. maybe we can compare notes to solve these silly issues. ARGGGGGGGGG

StaceYums81 Posted: Mar 02, 2009 09:06 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

I'm having a hard time following this, is it your brother's wife's mom and your fh's mom??

Sandradv121 Posted: Mar 02, 2009 09:49 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

Ok... sorry ladies:

My FMIL has 3 sons...including fh.

Her one son's wife ( my fsil) has a psychopathic obessive tag along mother whom we will call psycho.

Now, my FMIL doesn't get along with my future sister in laws mom ( the psycho). The psycho wants to be in the limo, and my FMIL is dead set against it. FH wants to let psycho get her way bc he is afraid of the drama she will start...but FMIL is pissed b/c psycho tries to steal FMIL's thunder...
and cause bigger family issues.

I didn't mean to confuse my chica's... I told you it was complicated lol
its like a soap opera!

Sandradv121 Posted: Mar 02, 2009 09:53 PM

Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue

Posted by little j

sandra - i have a similiar situation. FSIL's MIL is very involved. Since i have known FH, she has been involved in all of the family functions and we also celebrate a belated christmas at her house. BUTTTTTT...I recently found out that her and her husband are pissed at me, FH and FH's family. Why?? Because they did not get to sit at the 'head table' during our e-party. Everyone kind of finds this ridiculous (at least FH, me and FH's parents are on the same page), not sure how FSIL and her husband feel. So our e-party was the end of november. And guess what....they did not show up for ANY of the holiday parties!! And we have a few (cmas eve, cmas, nye, new years, and the belated one they celebrate). They told us they were sick. But FH recently told me that was all a lie and they were mad.

But seriously...where should we have sat them? I think they are just used to be sitting next to FH's parents. But this is not their son's wedding anymore. ya know? Anyway, the tables at our e-party were packed anyway, so there wasnt even room if we wanted to move them closer. But really...why would we? this was a time for MY family and FH's family to sit together.

Seriously -- what is with people?!?!

I am not sure how we are going to deal with this situation in the future. I literally have not seen them since the end of November...

Good luck, girl. maybe we can compare notes to solve these silly issues. ARGGGGGGGGG

I'm glad I'm not alone but it $ucks to freaking deal with it! Why can't we all have easy weddings and just plan it and just have the family show up? I mean, really is it that hard?Once a week I am venting about garbage... and its sooooo stupid!

Like really, is it that serious? Regardless, these people will get there, they will eat and who cares what they think or say!

I so wish FH had the same attitude!