My FMIL does not get along with my FSIL's mother. Why is this my problem? Well, for the wedding FSIL's mother assumes that she will be riding in a limo with my family and FH's immediate family. I found this out last night and got into a HUGE fight with Fh about it because he doesn't see the big deal with it... so in an act to prove my point, I went to his mother and told her everything, which in turn caused an even bigger fight.
The back story: everytime that we have an event with FH's immediate family, my FSIL's mother is involved. Now there are other siblings, but for some reason this woman feels a need to be up FSIL's a$$. She sits at main tables for immediate family events, she comes over (tags along) for immediate family dinners, usually uninvited, and consumes my FMIL's food and not contribute to anything (like she doesn't lift a finger). She trys to be in family pics, and she is just plain rude... and she has crossed me several times and my FMIL has had to get involved.
Now, my reason for having her in the limo is simple... she is not welcomed and my FMIL doesn't want her around... How do I drill this is FH's head and make him realize this! He's afraid of what the FSIL will say BUT I'm more concern about his mother's well being and also, thats a sit that can be given to one of my family members or FH's aunts....
I need advice... What can I do? How do we fix this? How do I make this woman disappear lol!?
Sandradv121
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
You have no clue how much my FMIL can not stomach her... it makes her cry.
Its her last son being married, I think she deserves to have for once in her life an evening without this psycho up her butt..
grkbarbie
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
wow she has no business in the limo! *** is her problem??? only ppl in the limos should be both sets of parents and bridal party..THATS IT! is he fbil a gm?? if not, his arse should be riding the bus,too!!
arent u getting liek 4 limos anyway?? cant she fit in the cargo area of the party bus or osmething... i mean seriously, she has no business in the main limo. tell her to get a life
Sandradv121
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
Posted by grkbarbie
wow she has no business in the limo! *** is her problem??? only ppl in the limos should be both sets of parents and bridal party..THATS IT! is he fbil a gm?? if not, his arse should be riding the bus,too!!
Aren't u getting like 4 limos anyway?? Cant she fit in the cargo area of the party bus or osmething... i mean seriously, she has no business in the main limo. Tell her to get a life
Her daughter and FH's brother are both in my bp...but she can catch a ride with, like, 12 other people that have no problem driving her!
We are getting two limos plus the Bentley ( agh so aggravating) One is for the bridal party and the other for the parents and immediate family. I have out of towners coming in from Italy specifically for this. BLOOD relatives! Like my Aunts. As it is right now, like, two of the bp members dates ( my sister and future nephews) are going in the limo, the rest are driving and staying at the hotel!
Thats it! Psycho is going in the trunk lol... theres no room for her, and she's sitting in the kitchen at the reception hall, next to the garbage lol
And if she starts any sort of drama that day she is soooooooooooooooooooooooo going for a long ride off a short pier. j/k but still. What a monster!!!!
grkbarbie
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
i think its worth it if u hire a realllllllllllly tiny sports car and send fh with the psycho.. let him chauffer her around if he wants to cater to her. pffftt
RitasEngaged
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
Posted by grkbarbie
i think its worth it if u hire a realllllllllllly tiny sports car and send fh with the psycho.. let him chauffer her around if he wants to cater to her. pffftt
Jna2010
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
just be like I know you really want to be a part of the wedding and I really appreciate that but we cant fit this many people in the limo, so we have to keep it to immediate family only.
what is she going to say? no?
christine2010
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
i think the easiest way to do this is just include the bridal party & parents in the limo. the people that will be in your limos are the bridesmaids & groomsmen & your parents & FH's parents. thats it. this women has no direct involvement in your wedding.
the only way u should consider having her in the limo is if she decides to give you a considerable amount of money toward your wedding.
HSsweethearts
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
She really doesn't belong in the limo anyway.
It's not fair to all of the other parents of bridal party members who can't fit in the limo. If you need an excuse tell her that!
lori7570
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
Posted by Jna2010
just be like I know you really want to be a part of the wedding and I really appreciate that but we cant fit this many people in the limo, so we have to keep it to immediate family only.
what is she going to say? no?
ITA
little j
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
Posted by Sandradv121
Posted by little j
sandra - i have a similiar situation. FSIL's MIL is very involved. Since i have known FH, she has been involved in all of the family functions and we also celebrate a belated christmas at her house. BUTTTTTT...I recently found out that her and her husband are pissed at me, FH and FH's family. Why?? Because they did not get to sit at the 'head table' during our e-party. Everyone kind of finds this ridiculous (at least FH, me and FH's parents are on the same page), not sure how FSIL and her husband feel. So our e-party was the end of november. And guess what....they did not show up for ANY of the holiday parties!! And we have a few (cmas eve, cmas, nye, new years, and the belated one they celebrate). They told us they were sick. But FH recently told me that was all a lie and they were mad.
But seriously...where should we have sat them? I think they are just used to be sitting next to FH's parents. But this is not their son's wedding anymore. ya know? Anyway, the tables at our e-party were packed anyway, so there wasnt even room if we wanted to move them closer. But really...why would we? this was a time for MY family and FH's family to sit together.
Seriously -- what is with people?!?!
I am not sure how we are going to deal with this situation in the future. I literally have not seen them since the end of November...
Good luck, girl. maybe we can compare notes to solve these silly issues. ARGGGGGGGGG
I'm glad I'm not alone but it $ucks to freaking deal with it! Why can't we all have easy weddings and just plan it and just have the family show up? I mean, really is it that hard?Once a week I am venting about garbage... and its sooooo stupid!
Like really, is it that serious? Regardless, these people will get there, they will eat and who cares what they think or say!
I so wish FH had the same attitude!
Ok. now i have a question for you....so FSIL and hubby are in BP. The parents are not!! I hope they dont think they are....we'll see as that unfolds...
but here is the other part of the issue. right now we are not thinking of having any ringbearers. BUTTTT, FSIL and hubby have a nephew (FSIL's MIL grandson!!!).....is it VERY BAD if we dont include him?? its not like we have anyone CLOSER we are picking...we just dont know if we want one at all...
I think that we should include him, to prevent future drama. FH thinks its not a big deal. BUT if this woman got upset that she wasnt sitting at the main e-party table, i cant imagine her reaction on why we didnt pick our future 'nephew'........
(of course, this may lead to more limo drama later...but one step at a time over here)
little j
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
Posted by Sandradv121
Ok... sorry ladies:
My FMIL has 3 sons...including fh.
Her one son's wife ( my fsil) has a psychopathic obessive tag along mother whom we will call psycho.
Now, my FMIL doesn't get along with my future sister in laws mom ( the psycho). The psycho wants to be in the limo, and my FMIL is dead set against it. FH wants to let psycho get her way bc he is afraid of the drama she will start...but FMIL is pissed b/c psycho tries to steal FMIL's thunder... and cause bigger family issues.
I didn't mean to confuse my chica's... I told you it was complicated lol its like a soap opera!
does FSIL agree? what about FSIL's fiance? maybe one of them can talk to FMIL? its really not her time to shine..its FH's MOM's time!!!! why dont people get this???
Sandradv121
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
I can't even bring it up to my FSIL. I was considering talking to FH's brother ( FSIL's husband) and have him back me up on this, b/c he totally will.
For these reasons, this why I wished I would have just eloped!
Lsorrent
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
I know this is easier said than done, but you need to not worry about making everyone else happy and just make yourself happy. Personally I don't think she has any place in that limo. She's not you or FH's parent, not in the BP, and not paying for the limos. So she doesn't need to be there.
Just remember that sh!t like this is going to happen and you CAN'T please everyone. Someone will ALWAYS be upset about something, and they'll just have to deal with it. It's your wedding, not hers, so YOU have the final say.
little j
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
Posted by Sandradv121
I can't even bring it up to my FSIL. I was considering talking to FH's brother ( FSIL's husband) and have him back me up on this, b/c he totally will.
For these reasons, this why I wished I would have just eloped!
if FBIL is on your side..he could bring it up, gently, to FSIL and see what she says. maybe she doesnt care. maybe she does. but i would start there just to feel the situation out....
sorry
Sandradv121
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Re: I have a complicated FMIL issue
Posted by little j
Posted by Sandradv121
I can't even bring it up to my FSIL. I was considering talking to FH's brother ( FSIL's husband) and have him back me up on this, b/c he totally will.
For these reasons, this why I wished I would have just eloped!
if FBIL is on your side..he could bring it up, gently, to FSIL and see what she says. maybe she doesnt care. maybe she does. but i would start there just to feel the situation out....
