I have a dilemma

serendipity0680 Posted: May 07, 2005 04:57 PM

I have a dilemma

Hi Girls,
My FI has this friend who is a girl. She moved to Colorado and now she is back this weekend and he is going to meet up with her. I would normally have no problem with this however I know she has always liked him. She is the type of girl that calls him with all of her problems. I have told him that this meeting and her constant calling bothers me. He tells me to just get over it b/c they are friends. I am really just bummed about the whole thing. And to top it all off he wants her invited to our wedding. Whereas I have a friend who is a guy and he freaks out if I talk to him. Any ideas how to deal with this? Or get over it? Thanks.

conigs25 Posted: May 07, 2005 05:08 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

Sweetie he is marrying YOU!!!! There is NO person on this earth that can at all ruin yur day. Just think, if you think she likes him, wait til she sees how beautiful you look. She'll know sh has NO shot!! Let it go, this is what marriage is about. You have to respect his feellings for his friend. JMO

serendipity0680 Posted: May 07, 2005 05:09 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

I guess you are right! Thanks for the advice. Just needed to vent a little bit.

conigs25 Posted: May 07, 2005 05:10 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

Anytime baby!!!

CC59 Posted: May 07, 2005 05:11 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

I'm sure its annoying but as Conigs says, he's marrying you so don't worry about it. Give her an extra smile while you're walking down the aisle looking beautiful going to marry YOUR man ha ha!!

Kiddo115 Posted: May 07, 2005 09:48 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

See I have the opposite dilemma.. I have a guy friend who I am very close with, and FI feels insecure about it. My friend lives in Buffalo, and I only see him once or twice a year when I take my sister to college up there.
I've always had more guy friends than girl friends, ever since I was little. He should know.. he as been my best bud since 4th grade! I just have always felt more comfortable being one of the guys... but he's still worried that one day I will all of a sudden realize I'm madly in love with all of them! lol.. I guess everyone has these issues

shellnroc Posted: May 07, 2005 09:55 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

I do agree with conigs but it's not right that you can't talk to your male friend without him freaking out. If one of his good friends is a girl so be it but you should be able to speak with your good friend that is a male. Just my opinion.

MsKitty1274 Posted: May 07, 2005 10:22 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

Posted by conigs25

Sweetie he is marrying YOU!!!! There is NO person on this earth that can at all ruin yur day. Just think, if you think she likes him, wait til she sees how beautiful you look. She'll know sh has NO shot!! Let it go, this is what marriage is about. You have to respect his feellings for his friend. JMO

I COMPLETELY agree!!! I used to be jealous of FH's female friends, prior to being engaged. And now, anytime I even start having a jealous thought...I just remember I am the one with the ring, I am the one he is going to marry, I am the one!

It's not easy, but know that we're all here for you too!!!

serendipity0680 Posted: May 08, 2005 12:52 AM

Re: I have a dilemma

Girls thank you so much. You made me feel so much better. I really love this LIW b/c you can vent and look for advice. But after eh met witht his friend, she asked him if I liked her? and he told her that I didn't like her. Now he told me this girl is going to write me a letter. Can you believe this? Love you all lots!!!

iffer042373 Posted: May 09, 2005 02:53 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

He is marrying you and that should make you secure but on the other hand why doesn't he feel secure with this guy friend of yours? If he tels you to get over it then he should get over it as well.
Honestly though he is with you and loves you and wantsto spend the rest of his life with you not this other chick.

cantwait2bewed Posted: May 09, 2005 03:23 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

I agree with all of u. I have had gealous feeling since i have started dating my FH. After i got my ring I started to calm down a bit. Now its like i dont even care about his girl friends. I am the one he wants to marry. Besides i look better them anyway.

buggiegirl Posted: May 09, 2005 10:19 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

i know how you feel, and I think the best way to deal with it is to get to know this girl, maybe you won't feel as threatened then.

Besides- you have nothing to worry about

lisad117 Posted: May 09, 2005 10:27 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

My FH has a bunch of friends that are women so I definitely know how you feel. I know that I'm the one he's with and I have no reason to be jealous but I think its normal to have a pang or two every once in a while. Try not to let it bother you. I do think though that you should be able to hang out with your male friends if he is going to hang out with this girl.
Good Luck!

DrBeLLaRoSe Posted: May 09, 2005 10:29 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

i agree with buggiegirl, try to get to know the girl, maybe next time you could (and should) all hang out.

i completely understand how you feel.
you are much better fiancee than i am, i would not tolerate it well

buggiegirl Posted: May 09, 2005 10:36 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

Posted by DrBeLLaRoSe

i agree with buggiegirl, try to get to know the girl, maybe next time you could (and should) all hang out.

i completely understand how you feel.
you are much better fiancee than i am, i would not tolerate it well

me neither glad I am not the only one

but seriously- these things are never easy

VogueBride Posted: May 09, 2005 11:13 PM

Re: I have a dilemma

Posted by conigs25

Sweetie he is marrying YOU!!!! There is NO person on this earth that can at all ruin yur day. Just think, if you think she likes him, wait til she sees how beautiful you look. She'll know sh has NO shot!! Let it go, this is what marriage is about. You have to respect his feellings for his friend. JMO

I agree......