Girls, I am so sorry for only coming on LIW lately when I have a problem. I've been so busy with the wedding, and haven't had time for fun chat. Please, I really need your help.
As some of you may know, one of my BMs is battling anorexia right now. I believe it is depression related, as she sleeps for 12 hours and cannot even take care of her daily routines. Well, this weekend we had her dress fitting and my bachelorette party. Even though she ate some pizza before hand like the rest of us, she got so very sick from drinking. I should have watched her more closely, but I saw she was having a good time and did not think she was in trouble. Well, from around 11pm until 11 am she was vomiting every hour, and couldn't keep anything down. I finally was able to convince her to take car service with me back to my FILs house and she is staying here currently. She was on the couch all day sleeping and then just went to bed for the night at 8pm. We were feeding her toast and jello but then she went to sleep and now she is in deep sleep. I had to take care of her all day today and I cannot do this on my wedding day. Sometimes she gets so sick from car rides or just nerves, I don't know what to do. My FMIL thinks if she is at the wedding she could cause a problem and none of us can take care of her then. She may be too weak to come. Should I let her make the decision as to whether she can come, or should FH and I tell her we think she should not come? She knows she is depressed, but has not really done much about it. She should probably be in the hospital. I don't want to hurt her by kicking her out of the BP, but I don't know what else to do. It is MY wedding day and I really can't be babysitting her. What do I do?
bride2b24
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Re: I have a VERY big problem, please help me. LONG
wow this is tuff.....i would def give her the option...i mean have a heart to heart with her and let her know where your at and how you know where she is.......let her known that your not only concerned about the wedding that you are worried about her.......good luck
MrsR72806
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Re: I have a VERY big problem, please help me. LONG
wow! I'm sooo sorry you have to deal with this! I had a friend when I was growing up who was bulemic...so I know where you are coming from. Eating disorders are horrible... I wouldn't kick her out of the BP...I Would sit her down, one on one; so she doesn't feel like she is being attacked or judged. Tell her what's on your mind, that you are concerned for her health and well being. I would also explain how you feel about her behavior and how you can not be babysitting her at your wedding. Def get the number to an eating disorder hotline and seek out therapists in the area; however she has to be willing to get help. This is such a sensitive topic...you Have to be careful with your words, b/c it might make her more upset. I tried really hard for years to help my friend, but she refused.
I hope everything works out!!! Good Luck!
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: I have a VERY big problem, please help me. LONG
I hope you all don't think I'm being cruel. But you have to realize that I have had the weekend from hell in taking care of her. I had a wake up call that she can't even handle being out a few hours, let alone a whole day. She goes to sleep at 7pm and wakes up at 7am. How can she possibly handle a full day that starts at 9am and ends at 12am? She couldn't even sit at the dinner table last night for 20 minutes without wanting to get up and go back to sleep. There is no way I can take care of her at my wedding. I have been there for her, but it's not fair to me or anyone else who has been helping plan this wedding if we have to take care of her that day.
BellaEyes
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Re: I have a VERY big problem, please help me. LONG
Well, I would have a heartfelt talk with her, as it seems you do care deeply for her without a question. Let her know how you feel. Let her know that becuase of her situation you feel perhaps it would be better for her sake if she were not to come let her know that it will be a long day and she will definitely be very tired from being on her feet all day long and you feel it's best for her to stay home and rest.
She sounds sooo very depressed and definitely needs someone to take her to the Dr. She sounds like she may be very lonely and trying to reach out for help. She really needs to go to the Dr. Is there a family member of hers that you can talk to and see what they can do for her?
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: I have a VERY big problem, please help me. LONG
She's one of my grad school friends that lives in MD with me and I have never met her parents. I have no contact number for them. She doesn't really have many close friends here in MD, they are all spread out. I just don't know what to do. Since she is OOT, it's not like she can just go home if she feels sick.
SPITSBRIDE
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Re: I have a VERY big problem, please help me. LONG
Posted by autumn
Posted by Jen2999
Is she open to getting help?
I think it is very important that she sees a doctor as soon as possible.
Go to hr as a concerned friend, tell her you are worried abut her and you want her to spend your wedding day with you, and not be sick and miss it.
