me and my MOH haven't really been getting along lately. she has been very spiteful, i've caught her in a few lies and i feel like she's faking the funk and pretending to like FH. when me and FH first started dating, she told me that she doesn't like him b/c i spend too much time with him. now, she tells me that i am spending too much time doing wedding stuff with another friend of mine who is also getting married. she is very jealous and very vindictive. she does things in spite, not just to me but to other people when things don't go her way.
i have heard many ppl regret who they chose as their MOH. and i know that i made a mistake by picking her. i have a sister who i am extremely close with and i should've made her my MOH in the first place. 20 years from now i don't wanna look back and see that my MOH was someone i am not even friends with anymore.
the situation is, everyone thinks it's mean if i kick out my MOH and replace her with my sister. everyone 'feels bad'. am i being mean? is it wrong? if so, why should i suffer with a MOH i don't like just b/c ppl 'feel bad'?? it's my wedding, in the end, shouldn't it be what i want most??
my second issue is, how do i tell her my current MOH that she's not my MOH? also, i know the type of person she is, she won't even wanna be my friend after i tell her this.
i hope you all know me by now, and know that i'm not a mean person. i'm not doing this b/c i'm being a b!tch. i wanna do what's right and what's best for me. i know that my sister will be there forever and that she will support me like no one else can.
support and advice please...
RobbsWifey
Posted:
Member since
Re: i have an issue...(long - sorry)
You could also have your sister be your 'co-MOH.' This way your current MOH shouldn't be offended b/c you're not kicking her out of her role, you just realized that you want you sister to be your MOH as well. On the hidden side, have your sister do all the important stuff at the actual wedding (e.g. standing next to you when you're saying your vows, holding the ring, saying the speech, etc.) This way your friend doesn't think she's lost her title, she just has to share it. Good luck!
MimiMcG
Posted:
Member since
Re: i have an issue...(long - sorry)
This is a really tough situation...My Suggestion is to use the excuse that you made a mistake, and feel that you have to make your sister your maid of honor, that you don't want to make a rift between you and your sister, and you have no other choice...
Do yourself a favor, do not make your life more difficult, you do not need a person in your bridal party who is going to require constant stroking and attention
If you want to be diplomatic, then consider having 2 MOH's, but since your friend is being so spiteful and childish, I would suggest just having your sister and having your friend as a BM
You are not being mean or rude...This is YOUR WEDDING
MimiMcG
Posted:
Member since
Re: i have an issue...(long - sorry)
Posted by faithandkevin
I had a very similar issue. The girl I originally asked to be my MOH (my BFF for 10 years!) suddenly 'disapeared' when I needed her. She has always been very jealous and is in a relationship that is not healthy, with a BF who basically is stringing her along, cheating, and making a fool of her. So I just emailed her, asking her if it was too much for her to be in th wedding, etc. Well she read it but NEVER replied to it, and I had the answer right there. So I asked another BM to step up, who I should have asked in the first place. And the 1st girl never called me since. But you know what, my life is a lot less dramatic now!
You don't need that drama!!! you did the right thing! This is your WEDDING, the most important day of your life next to being born, and having your own babies...
