I have bad news ladies

Original post by finallygotthering

Sep 11, 2005 08:21 PM

Today, I found out that FH cheated on me with a so call friend of mine. This happened over six months ago, we work at the same same place, I just wanted to pull out my gun and kill both of them, but I realize it is not worth it. everyone at work knew except me. I really don't know what to do now. I don't think I can ever trust him again, but I still love him.

Sorry I just wanted to vent because I can't tell anyone in my family

evnme Posted: Sep 11, 2005 08:55 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

so sorry to hear that.
are u ok?

finallygotthering Posted: Sep 11, 2005 08:57 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

Posted by SummerBride06

oh i am so sorry!!

i think one of the worst parts is--he didn't tell you!!! he would have let you 2 get married without ever telling you. it's never okay to cheat, but HE should have told you, not her.

best of luck with whatever you decide to do. hopefully he hasn't done this before with other women.

i'm sorry to even mention this, but you should really go to the doctor and get yourself tested. you want to keep yourself SAFE.

we are here for you

Thanks, I got tested two weeks ago and everything was fine, I can't believe he did this to me after so many years over TEN YearsI HATE HIM RIGHT NOW

SomethingBlu Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:00 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

Posted by finallygotthering
Thanks SomethingBlue, that is how I feel, once a cheater always a cheater, I will leave him

Please FM if you need to talk...

And I agree with those above...don't worry about what other people think (myself included) or the wedding right now.

YOU are what's important.

The fact that he only 'came clean' after your 'friend' admitted what happened simply serves the purpose of showing you that neither are worth your presence in their lives. You are too good for either of them. God never gives us more than we can handle...with time, like with everything, you will be OK.

But no talk of hurting either of them...you're right, it's not worth it. And karma is a b!tch - they'll get theirs.

12-3Princess Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:03 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

I'm so sorry. I know how you feel as I had a boyfriend of 3 years cheat on me, and leaving him was the hardest thing I ever had to do. That was about 5 years ago and I'm engaged to someone else and I'm so happy I left him of course... But that's a long story.

I do believe that once a cheater, always a cheater... In my own situation, i was very very hurt at first, then angry, then at some point I found myself wanting to stay with him just so that I could prove to this other girl that he loved ME and not her and that she'd never be able to take him away. Looking back, it was a crazy way to think.

I am so sorry you are hurting right now. This is an important decision and one that ONLY you can make... Please realize there are many men out there that would love and respect you and be faithful. I am glad you found this out now, before you married him. Everything happens for a reason but I know that doesn't take the pain away for right now.

FM if you ever want to talk.

finallygotthering Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:06 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

Even though I am new to this site, you guys are so supportive and I can truly say I love you all. Thanks, before I came on here to vent I wanted to kill myself, thanks again, I will leave that pig and move to another location and move on with my life.

trish71407 Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:07 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

I am so sorry to hear about this. Like the others, i also feel once a cheater, always a cheater. I think that you have to do whats best for you. Be thankful that you found out sooner than later!

micmar Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:07 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

I'm sorry to hear about this. This obviously is not an easy decision. I know a few people who have had husbands cheat on them & it's a hard thing to deal with. You have to do what YOU feel is right. Don't worry about what others thing no matter which decision you make. It's easy for us, or anyone, on the outside to tell you to leave him. Just follow your heart. I will never understand why people cheat instead of just being honest, but I guess that is one thing that we'll never figure out. I wish you all the best & know you will get through this.

Mrs_B Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:07 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

Posted by finallygotthering

Even though I am new to this site, you guys are so supportive and I can truly say I love you all. Thanks, before I came on here to vent I wanted to kill myself, thanks again, I will leave that pig and move to another location and move on with my life.

Please dont say that (re: suicide) .... nothing can ever be that bad to even contemplate something so severe. Just know we are ALL here for you!!!!!!!!

BriBri529 Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:08 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

I am so sorry . . . . Maybe counseling is a possibility for you both . . . . . Best wishes no matter what happens

micmar Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:09 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

Please dont say that (re: suicide) .... nothing can ever be that bad to even contemplate something so severe. Just know we are ALL here for you!!!!!!!!

Yes, please know that you did NOTHING wrong. I don't know you, but am sure you are a great person.

steflily Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:10 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

First - lot's of 's!!!

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I wish I knew what to say. It's a very personal and difficult decision you have to make. Good luck to you. We are here if you need us.

finallygotthering Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:12 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

Posted by micmar

Please dont say that (re: suicide) .... nothing can ever be that bad to even contemplate something so severe. Just know we are ALL here for you!!!!!!!!

Yes, please know that you did NOTHING wrong. I don't know you, but am sure you are a great person.

Thanks again ladies, I just can't belive that he did that to me, he took away my child hood, he has been my first and only and I dreamed of marrying my first, I really can't be with him anymore because he did it with a friend and a co worker, I have to see this girl every day. I really hate both of them.

PIZZ2306 Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:12 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

I am so sorry.......

mbm750 Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:16 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

Don't worry about facing anyone or what anyone thinks of you - you're not the one who did anything wrong. There's nothing to be humiliated about. He's the one who should be ashamed.

For what it's worth, I truly believe what goes around, comes around. He will get his.

I'm very sorry this happened to you.

Soon2BeMrs2006 Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:19 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

don't let that girl see you upset at work. You show that you are stronger and that you didnt do anything wrong. She's the guilty party here.

glinda_goodwitch Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:19 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

I am so sorry

MrsStefan Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:22 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

I am SO sorry to hear about this. Just remember that you dont deserve to be treated like this and you have to make your decsion based on what YOU want...not what everyone else THINKS you should do. YOU are the one who has to live with your choice. I am confident that you will make the best decision for YOU....even if it means getting through a lot of pain. But after that, you will be a stronger woman

PegaLega Posted: Sep 11, 2005 09:22 PM

Re: I have bad news ladies

I am so sorry to hear this...I do also believe once a cheater always a cheater.
But you need to do what is right for you and hopefully you will be able to get thru this no matter what you choose.
for you!