I have been so sad lately (long)

Original post by Darcy

May 10, 2005 06:22 PM

Well ever since the wedding I have been up and down. My emotions have been on this roller coaster and I just need to tell you guys about it.

I think it is a mixture of things. Many things surrounding the wedding did not go right and I feel like I want to go back and fix it all. I was just so tired cause I did not sleep for a week.

Things at the wedding with the hall, and with other people just made the event really stressful. There were times I was really happy, but alot of the time things went wrong. FH and I almost got into a fight because we were being pulled everywhere.

After the honymoon I cried, alot. I know I can't do anything to fix those mistakes, and I should be happy about the things that went right, but it nags at me.

And with it over, it is like something is gone. I find myself still daydreaming about things to do for the wedding, then realize what I am doing. And it just makes me sad.

I thought that now that I have a job I would not thing about it anymore, but my job is really boring right now.

At work I decided to put up a pic on the desktop from my friends site and I just got upset (my DH neglected to cut his hair and last night I did and he look so good that all I could say was 'I can't believe you did not cut your hair for the wedding').

The odd thing is, I am normally not this picky or annoyed. It is just that this was supposed to be my BIG day, and I was so nice about things that I got trampled on, that now I just feel, I don't know...

I have to say that I am not even sure why I cry. I am afraid that I actually just did not enjoy the wedding like I thought I would. I swore if I was still upset with the hall after a month I would say something to them.

well, just wanted to talk.

adioguardi Posted: May 11, 2005 09:17 AM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

There are alot of good words and advice on this thread for you Darcy. We know this will pass. One huge event has just finished but your married life will contain many other events, big and small that you will plan for and look forward to. Feel better.

SUNSHINE24 Posted: May 11, 2005 09:32 AM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

i hear ya. I dread about feeling that way too. But now you have other things to be happy about. Maybe buying a house? Having Kids? Going on vacations and doing fun things as a married couple. Its going to take a bit of time, we all put every spare moment we had into our weddings for a year or more (or less). So its just an adjustment. you still have us on liweddings, you can help plan a friends wedding or just give advice on here.
Keep your head up, you have a new husband and a new life to start

Bunnymonkey Posted: May 11, 2005 10:52 AM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

I think a certain amount of sadness and anxiety is normal after such a big event, but if it continues, maybe you should look into talking to someone. Even if just for a few sessions, it really helps get to the bottom of your sadness and anxiety. You don't have to live like this!

ckgmwedding Posted: May 11, 2005 10:56 AM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

Posted by Bunnymonkey

I think a certain amount of sadness and anxiety is normal after such a big event, but if it continues, maybe you should look into talking to someone. Even if just for a few sessions, it really helps get to the bottom of your sadness and anxiety. You don't have to live like this!

Great advice, Rye. As the therapist, I should have thought of this myself

hbradio Posted: May 11, 2005 11:04 AM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

I think what you are feeling is completely normal after a major life milestone. I know its not what you want to hear but these feelings will pass. You will realize that what happened you cant change and accept them and focus on all the good things that happened.

May05Bride Posted: May 11, 2005 11:15 AM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

I am sorry you feel this way. My wedding is in 18 days, and I know I will feel the same way.

Ronkonkomonga Posted: May 11, 2005 11:42 AM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

I think you are feeling things that everyone here is going to experience. I see myself being totally deflated after its over. You wait your whole life for your wedding day, and then its over before you know it. But you have a wonderful husband, and that is really all that counts - the post wedding blues always pass

103005FallBride Posted: May 11, 2005 03:27 PM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

I am so sorry... I can't imagine something like this happening. We play the day over and over in our heads - so magical and beautiful and to have a number of things not turn out the way we want has got to be so upsetting. I'm sure we would all feel the same. Part of you probably wishes you could turn back time... I know I would. I truly wish there was something I could do to help. Know that we're all here for you.

ssdbk Posted: May 11, 2005 11:17 PM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

If I had to guess, I would say that you are still not sleeping well. Do what you can to get better sleep.

You probably will not feel better overnight but if you take baby steps you will feel good and you will even begin to think more often about the parts of your wedding that you liked.

FM me any time. I know how easily a person can get into a funk and how hard it can be to get out.

Just remember that you will feel better!!!!!

lilacwine Posted: May 12, 2005 09:01 AM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

I hope you'll be feeling better soon!

Darcy Posted: May 12, 2005 04:49 PM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

thank you guys so much. I have to say that one of my big issues is control. And I had none that day. I would rather be upset with myself than to be upset with other people. And I know it is just a wedding, I just wish that other people had realized what they did and the consequinses they had. I couldn't even list all the things that happened.
I did have fun at parts, but... well anyway...

Thank you for listening and writing.

lilacwine Posted: May 12, 2005 04:54 PM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

Posted by Darcy

thank you guys so much. I have to say that one of my big issues is control. And I had none that day. I would rather be upset with myself than to be upset with other people. And I know it is just a wedding, I just wish that other people had realized what they did and the consequinses they had. I couldn't even list all the things that happened.
I did have fun at parts, but... well anyway...

Thank you for listening and writing.

Have you tried listing only the good parts, instead? What does your FH remember most about the day?

Darcy Posted: May 12, 2005 05:02 PM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

I do try and that is fine. See, it doesn't help because other people bring up things. Like my MIL loves drama and I made the mistake of saying some things that bothered me. Well next thing you know (blah blah blah) and even guests, while they loved the wedding, still told me stuff. Oh, and BIL also told me thing that he had to move the trees from peoples view cause they just said 'oh, well that is where they always go' Just stuff. people just tell me stuff. You know. They thing is that the whole thing is this big whirl wind. And if the whirlwind has more downs than ups, well, its so hard to pic them out.

junebride! Posted: May 13, 2005 12:30 AM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

Fel better...take a few 'baby steps' each day...look for a rainbow...something that is going well...think about that throughout the day....easy to say, hard to do...take care

ssdbk Posted: May 13, 2005 01:08 AM

Re: I have been so sad lately (long)

maybe try going away for a weekend. with no in laws, no talk about your wedding, no reminders, etc. even if you were just away on your honeymoon, do something for a night or 2.