I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

When we first started looking for venues Fmil was giving me a head count of people in her family and she only counted adults, none of fhs cousins children because 'no kids at a wedding'
That's all well and good that she has that opinion but I have a gigantic family. My father was one of 11 kids and I have 23 first cousins who range in age from 40-7. I talk to all of my cousins. Those of you who have large Italian families like mine know how it is. Anyway beyond that one of my cousins has two kids who will be 13 and 15 and the time of the wedding.
Anyway our Rh charges half price for kids 3-12. Fmil saw that and said see that? Just your little nieces no other kids. I told her I have first cousins who are kids. She said well just them. But my cousin Melissa who I'm very close to only has two children. I can't exclude them.
So the she said 'you don't want kids running around at your wedding'
Umm yes I do! I love how much fun kids have at weddings. I went to my uncles wedding when I was 12 and it was the most fun I've ever had. I was a bridesmaid for the first time in my uncles wedding at 16. Besides the fact that I couldn't imagine my wedding without all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins there.
I love her but she's going to make me hate her.
Sorry that was long but I needed to vent.

I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

You need to do whats right for you. We don't have many children to invite but the ones that will be there we couldn't imagine not having there. So I can totally see where you are coming from.

I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

Yes! I agree with Soon2BMrsMango. I have very young nieces and nephews and I want them at my wedding as well. Your wedding, your rules!

I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

We're having no children at the wedding except immediate family (FH's nieces and nephews), but that's what FH and I chose. People can't dictate who can and can't be at your wedding! Your FMIL had her day and now you need to have yours the way you envision it. Maybe if you just tell her you see her point but love the idea of having kids running around and that give it a family feel she'll back off a bit.

I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

This wedding planning process has taught me that you can't please everyone. do what makes YOU happy! If you can't imagine not having all of the kids at your wedding, then so be it! That's not unreasonable by any means. I hope you are able to get through to your FMIL.

Re: I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

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Posted by Stine Bean

This wedding planning process has taught me that you can't please everyone. do what makes YOU happy! If you can't imagine not having all of the kids at your wedding, then so be it! That's not unreasonable by any means. I hope you are able to get through to your FMIL.

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This!! It's crazy how much this is true, no matter how much you try to make everyone happy. I learned this very fast when FH and I just got engaged. We now just focus on making us happy. It's not easy, but in the end us being happy is all that matters.

I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

Eff that noise...your wedding...she already had hers

I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

I know what you mean! All the weddings I've been to lately have 'no kids allowed'. I'm also from a large Italian family and my cousins are from 21-7 years old. I CANNOT EXCLUDE THEM! They are at everything and I cannot imagine excluding my cousins. No way. No how.

I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

Thank you ladies. My mom said just to ok her to death and do what I want. Its just annoying.

Re: I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

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Posted by NIKOLE

Eff that noise...your wedding...she already had hers

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Agreed!

But what about your mother? maybe you could be like 'oh well my mother says I can't NOT invite my families children'

I mean I'm not sure what it comes down to but who is paying for those plates? I think your answer, or beginning to your solution starts there.. unfortunately! :(

I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

I have said that.
My mother is paying for my dress, dj, and photographer. Fhs parents are contributing as well but we are paying for a majority of it.

I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

I hear ya! I also come from a large Italian family and was unsure where to make the cut-off. In the end we decided to just have our 12 nieces and nephews.

I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

i personally dont think kids belong at a wedding -- but my uncle has 5 children and the youngest is going to be around 9 or 10 when I get married....i think it would be insulting to my aunt and uncle if I didn't invite their children to my wedding....

no other kids will be invited. my cousin has a 4 yr old and a 1 yr old and they don't even want them to be in the wedding because they don't want to have to leave the wedding early bc the kids are tired, crying, etc...also who wants a stroller in the middle of your reception with sleeping kids? i don't. i may just have the 4 yr old be a part of the church and a few pics but after that he most likely will be going to his grandmas in ct for the weekend. that will ultimately be up to his parents though.

for our engagement party my FMIL said NO kids and i found that to be ridiculous because its on a sunday at an italian restaurant - thats more family oriented

I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

Crashing -
13 and 15 are not hardly kids, they wont be running around lol. It's your day do what you want but maybe she is just trying to look out for you guys...

We invited my husbands cousin's kids they were ages 6-10 kids at our wedding and they managed to infiltrate some key moments that I would've liked to share with just my me and hubbie. I blame their parents though - who allows their child to interfere with a bride and grooms cake cutting, video montage, and annoucement!!!! I am still a little upset about this. They are in almost all of our key moment pictures - and not to be mean but I just don't find it cute - it was our day.

I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

If you are paying for RH then you need to tell her that you're paying for it and you'll have your wedding your way. I know money is difficult to talk about but Thts what it comes down to. FH are paying for everything so nobody had any day and it's wonderful that way lol

and with that said we are having 1 18 year old and one 13 year old and not even nieces and nephew because the cost doesn't pay off for us.

Re: I have to remind myself that I love fmil (vent)

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Posted by db276952

Crashing -
13 and 15 are not hardly kids, they wont be running around lol. It's your day do what you want but maybe she is just trying to look out for you guys...

We invited my husbands cousin's kids they were ages 6-10 kids at our wedding and they managed to infiltrate some key moments that I would've liked to share with just my me and hubbie. I blame their parents though - who allows their child to interfere with a bride and grooms cake cutting, video montage, and annoucement!!!! I am still a little upset about this. They are in almost all of our key moment pictures - and not to be mean but I just don't find it cute - it was our day.[/QUOTE

this is why I'm not having kids. it's my day I don't care how cute your kid is!! lol this is a me me me me day :)