I just found out something so upsetting...

Original post by Beth1210

Oct 20, 2005 02:28 PM

all of the sudden Jake's grandmother doesn;t think I am good enough for him

B/c I am are you ready for this...half Irish- she found out at the shower

Jake is about 80% different things himself

SHe doesn't want to come to the wedding anymore- meanwhile she replied yes already

She thinks I am using him to 'get everything I want in life'

Um...excuse me- whose family is paying for the WHOLE wedding with out even an offer...MINE

Jake is calling her now, she is crazy- we all know that- but to do this to us less then 2 months before the wedding is NUTS- and Beyond

If I tell my family this they will KILL her- ( the italian half anyway..lol)

I almost have to laugh at her- if it wasn't for me - Jake would still be a bouncer - instead of owning his own business- which Me and my family encourged him to do - my Dad even offered him start up money

If she feels this way I don't want her there-

I just needed to vent- thanks for listening

Beth1210 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 02:54 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

thank you so much girls for your support!

I am scared for how my Dad is going to react to this

She should be glad my Mom isn't alive to hear this one- I don;t know what she would have done- but it wouldn't have been pretty

cindyandkevin Posted: Oct 20, 2005 02:55 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

Omg, I can't believe this insanity!!!!!! I'm so sorry for you Beth!!! At least you know that you've got a good man who will stand up for you, you should be happy about that!!

BEANS Posted: Oct 20, 2005 02:56 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

Posted by Beth1210

thank you so much girls for your support!

I am scared for how my Dad is going to react to this

She should be glad my Mom isn't alive to hear this one- I don;t know what she would have done- but it wouldn't have been pretty

Keep us posted on dad's reaction & good luck.

MayBride06 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 02:58 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

Beth, fuggeddaboutit (your italian side will understand) Some times in their old age well they just get crotchety! She will go to the wedding! She is just being crabby!

Goldi1021 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 02:58 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

Posted by M&S Sept12006

Im sorry that you're going through this Beth...on a funny note though, this situation so reminds me of 'American Wedding', where granny had a fit bc the girl was Jewish...just manage to shut her up somehow

Actually it was because the girl WASN'T Jewish.

I have seen cultural and religious issues tear up some branches of my family with irreparable damage. It is G-d awful.

I am so sorry that you are going through this Beth. Never is there a time when a person needs more support from family. Well guess what, WE SUPPORT YOU and if I have to don a grey wig and be someone grandmother, gosh darn it I will!!!

I am not going to try to understand how you feel. I can only speak of my own experiences. It was never spoken by FH's mother that she thinks I am not good enough, but I often feel that way. I am everything a Jewish mother could want for their son - Jewish, educated, have child-bearing hips - and still I am never made to feel warm and welcome.

Again I am so sorry.

SomethingBlu Posted: Oct 20, 2005 02:58 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

I'm sorry Beth!

It must stink to have someone so close not be a part of such a beautiful day over ignorance. It seems like she was looking for an excuse though...why bring it up now? She already said yes!

Again, I'm sorry!

mtdr1106 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 03:01 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

Uggghhh.....family can be so complicated sometimes......sorry that this is happening....

a good way to look @ things - which is something me & fh have had to do - from now on its about You and Jake - no one else. You are now each others family - he is your #1 and you are his - anyone who does not agree with this - its tough luck on them.

good luck and best wishes - try not to let her bother you. you can just say she is a batty old lady - if that helps....

MrsH1156 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 03:03 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

That's horrible!! I wouldn't want her there either.

smurray Posted: Oct 20, 2005 03:07 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

I'm sorry you have to be in this situation, but the only thing I can say is, what has always been told to me 'Your not marrying his family, your marrying him'
Some peopl should live by my motto' If you like it, I love it!'

Good Luck!

M&LSept1606 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 03:09 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

I know exactly how you feel. Mike's grandmother is not nice to me either. We should start a club. Get this-cause I'm not Irish ....oh well.

Beth1210 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 03:10 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

Posted by M&LSept1606

I know exactly how you feel. Mike's grandmother is not nice to me either. We should start a club. Get this-cause I'm not Irish ....oh well.

lol...too bad we can't trade them!

Marieka Posted: Oct 20, 2005 03:11 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

Hi Beth,

Don't let his crazy grandmother spoil your special day. I wouldn't waste anymore energy on this ridiculous woman. Just remember your wedding day is about you and Jake and celebrating your love for each other!

SIBride06 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 03:18 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

OMG!!! Later for grandma.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!!!

October Bliss Posted: Oct 20, 2005 03:23 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

I'm sorry you are going through something so horrible so close to your date.

KvsGrl Posted: Oct 20, 2005 03:28 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

That is awful! I am so happy that Jake stood up for you!

(Beth- I hope you had a chance to read. Edited for family lurkers)

Beth1210 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 03:30 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

thanks again girls

It's so weird to be told you are not good enough for some one- she doesn't approve of ME???

it's so strange

the same thing happend to my Mom- b/c she wasn't Irish- My Dad's Mom didn't like her- but that 35 years ago

it's 2005- not many people are 100% anything these days

kellwolfe Posted: Oct 20, 2005 03:35 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

Posted by Beth1210

thanks again girls

It's so weird to be told you are not good enough for some one- she doesn't approve of ME???

it's so strange

the same thing happend to my Mom- b/c she wasn't Irish- My Dad's Mom didn't like her- but that 35 years ago

it's 2005- not many people are 100% anything these days

happen to my mom also - Only my mom is the Italin and 'his family ' is German so they hated my mother

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Oct 20, 2005 03:37 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

I'm sorry this happened, Beth. Unfortunately many people are still racist and ignorant. If the rest of his family (mom, dad) loves you, then what grandma thinks really isn't important.
People need to learn to keep their mouths shut. A lot of times elderly (and non elderly) think they have a right to say whatever they want no matter how what they say will affect someone else.
I think your FH and his family need to tell Grandma if this is how she feels then she will not be involved in his life anymore. That means no grandson, no great grandkids. See what she says then.

Beth1210 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 03:37 PM

Re: I just found out something so upsetting...

My Dad said not to let it upset me- she is nuts!

he is right- he doesn't even want Jake's parents to know he knows

He thinks she is just trying to get attention