I knew it would happen....The Bachelor Party fight!!!!

Maybe this is immature but my thing is - 'what you do at yours is fair game for me at mine.' Let him know that (it will make him feel just like you do) and then go tear it up on Saturday night. Have the best time and just think about what you are doing instead of what he is doing. Be a little adventurous with your party!

I refuse be be the only one in the realationship uncomfortable with the bachelor/bachelorette party idea. So when my FH announced the he was going to Cancun....the next week I announced that I was going to Montreal the same weekend. I had a great time and I didn't think about what he was doing at all. It was perfect.

you see, in the past, i've gotten a LITTLE crazy over FH going to bachelor parties. I always get nervous about what goes on, etc. FH always says that its only 'in the movies' that bachelor parties have nasty strippers.

After joining LIW and seeing posts like this makes me question his honesty on the subject (or maybe he really just hasn't been to b-parties that have strippers? who knows??). SUPPOSEDLY, FH doesn't like strippers anyway... he finds them gross. BUT i know a few of his friends are very familiar with those kinds of clubs. so it's not necessarily FH i'm worried about, but more those friends.

So I totally know where you're coming from. I woulda totally flipped too. Its one thing to go to a strip club and ENTIRELY another thing to have private strippers. I know this bc I went to a party up at Albany a number of years ago and for some reason that's beyond me, they had these three strippers show up. (They did have a bouncer with them. They didn't do anything with any of the guys that were at the party, more like girl-on-girl action.) I don't even want to get into what I saw, but I will be forever scarred.

Anyways, it sounds like you can trust your FH that he wont do anything stupid. It irks me (and I'm sure many other brides) to think about the stupid shenanigans FH's can get into, especially with the influence of 'bad seed' friends.

I'd say have a talk with him. Be calm and just express how you feel about it. He will listen!! And he will remember how you feel about it should there be a stripper on the bus! Have fun at your b-party, you only get one of those!!! Don't stress too much!!! Good Luck!


edited to clarify

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Posted by kmiller

I completely understand where you are coming from. This is one issue that I simply won't change my mind about and never will.

I think of it like this:

If the girls WEREN'T strippers and WEREN'T getting paid and were just normal girls getting naked and flirting, etc., it would be considered completely wrong and off limits. BUT, because THEY ARE getting paid, that makes it OK? The situation is still the same. My man would be looking at a real live naked girl bouncing her boobs, etc. in front of him. If she were a random girl it would be considered border line cheating. I just don't get it and never will.

Women who are Ok with it..my hats are off to them..I wish I could be OK with it. It would probably make my life easier.

Perhaps it has to do with insecurity..I don't know. The whole thing just makes me ill.



edited for spelling

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THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I LOOK AT IT! I COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF!!!

UGH honestly, why do they want to do strippers on a bus anway ... thats not cool IMO .. i would be livid too .. i understand at the clubs, cause like you said you cant touch them anyway ... but the bus is so unnecessary

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's inappropriate and disgusting. Sometimes I feel like I overreact about certain things but with this I'm sticking to my guns and when he gets home today we're going to have a nice chat about what's acceptable behavior and what isn't! I feel like I'm raising a child

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Posted by MaggieLuvsJoe

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's inappropriate and disgusting. Sometimes I feel like I overreact about certain things but with this I'm sticking to my guns and when he gets home today we're going to have a nice chat about what's acceptable behavior and what isn't! I feel like I'm raising a child

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I feel like that ALL the time..

Its just the way it is...Men and women are so different in the way we think its not even funny..

I didn't read replies but here's an older gals advice:

I wouldn't like it BUT I do KNOW that the BP is for the OTHER GUYS! Not the groom. The single (or cheaters) need this excuse for their willy ways...

I know strippers. Even private ones. THEY WANT MONEY; not sex! And they know the groomsmen and such are horny and will give them a dollar for the littlest hollar!

LET him know that you trust him but it hurts you.

Good luck!

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Posted by dfw343

I didn't read replies but here's an older gals advice:

I wouldn't like it BUT I do KNOW that the BP is for the OTHER GUYS! Not the groom. The single (or cheaters) need this excuse for their willy ways...

I know strippers. Even private ones. THEY WANT MONEY; not sex! And they know the groomsmen and such are horny and will give them a dollar for the littlest hollar!

LET him know that you trust him but it hurts you.

Good luck!

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so true!!!!!!! most of the time its the bp not the groom who have the most fun!!!!

i have a plan

slip the bus driver $100 and tell him to take a few extra sharp turns and maybe 'lose control' of the wheel every now and again.

Theres nothing funnier than a handful of floosies in hooker shoes and a piece of string being tossed around a bus on their asses

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Posted by VeggieBride

i have a plan

slip the bus driver $100 and tell him to take a few extra sharp turns and maybe 'lose control' of the wheel every now and again.

Theres nothing funnier than a handful of floosies in hooker shoes and a piece of string being tossed around a bus on their asses

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Posted by VeggieBride

i have a plan

slip the bus driver $100 and tell him to take a few extra sharp turns and maybe 'lose control' of the wheel every now and again.

Theres nothing funnier than a handful of floosies in hooker shoes and a piece of string being tossed around a bus on their asses

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hhahahahaha thats awesome!

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Posted by VeggieBride

i have a plan

slip the bus driver $100 and tell him to take a few extra sharp turns and maybe 'lose control' of the wheel every now and again.

Theres nothing funnier than a handful of floosies in hooker shoes and a piece of string being tossed around a bus on their asses

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I can just see it now and I love it!!! hysterical!

I consider it a form of cheating...i dont care how much i trust any man, and i may look like the meanest gf in the world, but i have seen what goes on first hand. I will tolerate an hour at a club, ONE HOUR, anymore...ill probaly hunt him down, and kick his arse in front of his friends. I will soo treat myself to the best party ever to make up for that hour also, and i deserve it. And he better love that hour, cause it will be his last. Sorryyyyy about vent.

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Posted by MaggieLuvsJoe

Thanks girls!!!! I think my hormones mixed with stress from the wedding are really getting to me. I trust him 150%, we've been together for 7 years and have a great relationship, I know he wouldnt jeopardize that.

Just the thought of dirty girls touching him makes me wanna puke Guess thats normal tho.

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Honestly, if you really trust him then you have nothing to worry about. Just because strippers will be there doesn't mean that he's going to do something inappropriate. As far as the 'peer pressure' thing goes, if you think that his boys can pressure him into doing something he shouldn't be doing, then regardless of whether its his bachelor party or not, or it's just a regular night out with the boys on some random Friday night, whatever you're worried about him doing can happen then too...

How bout you slip the bus driver $100 to tell you what the hell was going on on that bus.

I feel like ppl always say 'well if you really trust him, then dont worry about it'. I mean, if i were in that situation, do i really think that my FH would mess around with some stripper on a bus? no. But its a matter of respect, and i know it wasnt his choice, but I think to be put into a situation like that and not speak up, out of respect for your future wife and your marriage, is not right. I feel your pain cuz DH's brother would totally do something like this, possibly to spite me, but DH specifically told him no strippers, and there werent any.

Also, I think its interesting that all of our FH's, my DH included, think strippers are sooooo disgusting. If we all believe that, I'm sure they could sell us all the same bridge for a fab price.