I knew this would happen, but still.

OK, so my Matron OH lives in Florida. To throw her a shower when I was her MOH last year, I travelled 8 hours each way. It wasn't a big deal, it was just what needed to happen.

When I made her Matron OH, I knew that she was flaky and incapable of helping me in the capacity that a MOH should, but she is my OLDEST FRIEND (since I was 2 months old), and I wanted her to have the honor. So I made another, much more dependable and somewhat local, friend Maid OH so that I could have the help I would need.

My girls have been planning my shower, and Matron told the girls that since she lives in Florida, she would be unable to afford the second trip up north. COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE. This is NOT why I'm hurt.

The other day, Matron's DH told me that they'd be flying up to Boston for the last weekend of June, to see another mutual friend. So I'm thinking, Oh that must be a trick - my shower must be that weekend. I mentioned it to my mom today, and she FLEW off the handle. Not because the surprise was blown, but because Matron had told everyone that she couldn't afford two trips up north, but now she and DH are flying to Boston for a casual visit?!

My shower ISN'T the last weekend in June. Matron isn't planning on coming to the shower. Look, I know she just didn't think. I know she didn't make the connection between flying north for my shower and the visit with our other friends. I'm just a little hurt that my Matron Of Honor apparently HAS the means to come to my shower, and didn't think to come.

And here I was feeling guilty for being sad that she and the other two OOT BMs aren't going to be at the Shower/Bachelorette Party.

I'm soo sorry that this is happening. I would definitely talk to her and maybe she has a good reason for it. Is she trying to surprise you and your other BM/Matron OH about coming to the shower also???

I'm sorry. That sucks.

Can you talk to her about it? Maybe its not just a casual visit to Boston. Has she told you she won't be at the shower?

If she has, you can tell her you are hurt she is coming up to Boston, but not to NY for your shower. Is it something she can coordinate together? Tell her that you just want her there so much, if possible.

Again, sorry you are in the situation

I'd be pretty livid. But is it possible that she can't get out of this trip to Boston because it's her DH's friends? Maybe she just can't say no for some reason?
As long as you realize that she's just flaky, and that it's not an intential snub, you'll be fine not having her there for your shower.

I had a BM like this, too, Rachel. I blew all of her bs off because I was not going to let it suck any of the joy out of my shower or my wedding. She is my flaky friend and I accept the fact that she is inconsiderate and unreliable because, the fact of the matter is, no amount of my complaining about that is going to make her change.

By the way, it is almost ten months after the wedding and she STILL has not reimbursed me for the money I shelled out for her dress AND she is going to Vegas with another friend in a few weeks, so obviously she has the money

What are ya gonna do?

I agree with Becky.

Take it all in stride hon.
And dont let someone else ruin this for you.
People dont always think and if I were you I would just let it go..no need to get upset....u knew she was flaky so there you go ..and u still love her