I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

Issue #1)
I am inviting the parents of some 20 year old boys. I dont mind inviting the boys too mainly for my brother and sister and rest of the family, but do I have to allow them to bring guests b/c of their age?

I dont know what to do b/c I dont want to offend anyone, but the $ is an issue and I want to know the people at my wedding.

Issue #2)
Also, I have a huge family and Im the oldest cousin of about 43. I wanted to invite all over 18, but in one family all the chidren are over 18 except one, hes 16. I was never close to him. My concern is if I DO invite him then it opens up a whole can of worms in the family b/c I have cousins aged 16 & 17 including triplets Then I would have to invite all them too!

Can I invite the whole family and not him??

UGH - this has to be the hardest part so far!!

ETA - most of my family lives in Nassau & would NEVER turn down a wedding invite, so Im not going to have many declines.

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

proper etiquette is anyone over the age of 18 should be allowed to bring a guest (and some even go to the age of 16)

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

My DH comes from a huge family as well... about 40 immediate members. We did invite all the cousins and nieces and nephews. Everyone was invited with a guest that was over 18 or known to be dating someone. Our feeling was that we are only getting married once and having a big wedding so we thought it was definitely worth it to spend the extra money to have everyone there. We both knew how important it was to the family to be included and couldn't imagine excluding family for the sake of money.

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

It's not all $. This may sound wierd, but I come from a HUGE family. I m 28 years old. I barely speak with the cousins 10 years younger than me. I have like 8 cousins just born in the same year as me I have cousins that are 4 years old! These are all first cousins.

Anyway, I think you're right. I need to invite them. I wanted to keep this wedding under 150 and my guest list w/o cousins at all is already over

I didnt even invite ANY friends yet! This is ALL family!!

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

Actually ettiquette states that adults who are living with, engaged or in a relationship of significance should be invited with a guest. I am sorry but finances do not permit my family to invite an 18 year old with a date. If they don't like it, they can stay home. It may sound harsh but I am sure they will get over it.

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

I agree with Goldi. Set an age limit and stick to it. There is no reason why an 18 year old should be allowed to bring a guest.

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

I actually think that if the person isn't dating someone at the time the invitations go out, then they should be invited alone (unless of course you can afford to give everyone a guest). I would rather not have people scramble to get a date for my wedding, so that I have twice as many people there that I don't even know.

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

I can relate to the big family (my mom is one of 11 children my dad is one of 6-FH's mom is one of 14!!!) So needless to say I have tons of cousins-I'm inviting them only if they are 16 and older and that means in one family I am inviting my one cousin and not her brother who is several yrs younger than her-I feel bad but if I invite him I'd have to include about 15 other cousins in that age range-just can't do it. As far as dates-I'm inviting people over the age of 21 with a date unless they are living together or engaged (which doesn't really apply but things could change in the next 6 months)

I'm not looking forward to hurting anyone's feelings but I don't know what else to do

It does help that I'm not the first cousin to get married and they all pretty much did the same thing.

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

LOL to boyfriend of the week!

Tracey - Im glad you know exactly where Im coming from. My mom is one of 11 and each is married, so thats 22 and most have 4 children, so that 44 +22 = 66 plus grandma thats 67 + my dads side (16) thats 83 + Anthonys side which is divorced and remarried!! It is so totally crazy!!! Then add close neighbors and friends! I wanted to keep it at 100 :(

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

We all have to set limits...Invite who you want there...I have 1st cousins under 16 who Im not inviting...my family is too big....and those cousins who are over 18...unless I know of a long term relationship the invite is to them only. I can't follow etiquite...I have 245 on my guest list...and I only want 180 yeses.

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

Re: I know I can ivite who I want, but can you help me here

I would not invite the cousins with a date, unless they are seriously dating or engaged. It's not like they will not know anyone at your wedding- which I think is part of the reason people are invited with guests.