I NEED ADVICE AND OPINIONS!!!

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Posted by MJDoc12

ETA: when his 0% interest rate end in 09 -- EVERY SINGLE penny of interest that would have accumulated during his interest free time will be ADDED to his debt....wouldn't you want to try and help him pay off the debt before this happens?

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I agree with LuvmyAlfonse and MJDoc

MJ- Can you tell me where you got the above information? I've never heard of this and always thought that interest started accruing on the balance left after the 0% interest term is up, not that they tack on all the interest you would've paid.

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Posted by kahlua716

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Posted by MJDoc12

ETA: when his 0% interest rate end in 09 -- EVERY SINGLE penny of interest that would have accumulated during his interest free time will be ADDED to his debt....wouldn't you want to try and help him pay off the debt before this happens?

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I agree with LuvmyAlfonse and MJDoc

MJ- Can you tell me where you got the above information? I've never heard of this and always thought that interest started accruing on the balance left after the 0% interest term is up, not that they tack on all the interest you would've paid.

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it depends on the 0% apr offer that your card gives you. sometimes it can be the way that you were talking about---however other times it can be the interest from the beginning of the time period. you would have to check up on the offer that is given, as each case is different.

for example---a place like Best Buy has a 'No interest for 3 years' on tvs and stuff right now....at the end of the 36 months you have to pay the entire amount of interest accrued, if the balance isn't paid. they give you the offer as an incentive to pay the balance off before the time is up....if not you are penalized.

here is the wording from when you buy things from Best Buy:

'Required minimum monthly payment is the greater of $10 or 1% of balance plus billed finance charges plus any late fees. Interest will be charged to your account from the purchase date if plan balance is not paid in full within 3 years or if minimum monthly payments are not made.'

This same rule applies to many CC offers with 0% Apr for a certain time period...its usually spelled out in the fine print

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by kahlua716

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Posted by MJDoc12

ETA: when his 0% interest rate end in 09 -- EVERY SINGLE penny of interest that would have accumulated during his interest free time will be ADDED to his debt....wouldn't you want to try and help him pay off the debt before this happens?

---

I agree with LuvmyAlfonse and MJDoc

MJ- Can you tell me where you got the above information? I've never heard of this and always thought that interest started accruing on the balance left after the 0% interest term is up, not that they tack on all the interest you would've paid.

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it depends on the 0% apr offer that your card gives you. sometimes it can be the way that you were talking about---however other times it can be the interest from the beginning of the time period. you would have to check up on the offer that is given, as each case is different.

for example---a place like Best Buy has a 'No interest for 3 years' on tvs and stuff right now....at the end of the 36 months you have to pay the entire amount of interest accrued, if the balance isn't paid. they give you the offer as an incentive to pay the balance off before the time is up....if not you are penalized.

here is the wording from when you buy things from Best Buy:

'Required minimum monthly payment is the greater of $10 or 1% of balance plus billed finance charges plus any late fees. Interest will be charged to your account from the purchase date if plan balance is not paid in full within 3 years or if minimum monthly payments are not made.'

This same rule applies to many CC offers with 0% Apr for a certain time period...its usually spelled out in the fine print

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\

Wow! Thanks for that info...I have some reading to do when I get home

I wish my FH only had $4k worth of credit card debt!! HOLY CR AP THAT'S GOOD!!!

His debt DOES NOT become your debt once you are married, this is a big misconception people have. His financial responsibilties remain his, and yours remain yours. Whatever debt you take on 2gether, i.e. mortgage, cc's, etc. then those become both of your obligations.

As far as the wedding money goes, technically 50% of it is his. You guys should be able to agree on what you want to do with the money, but if he wants to pay off his debt the he should be able to do so. It will benefit both of you in the long run. He will have less money going out monthly to cc bills, which means more money in the household, & his reduced credit risk will increase his credit score which will help with loans and such in the future.

gl

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

I agree with your FH. His debt is now your debt too...

I think it should be paid off with wedding money too - dribs and drabs until it's paid off by Feb 09 - $700/month.

It's not fair to hold it against him. He's been nothing but straight up honest with you - you knew about it.

You guys are becoming a team now. And since you're not working... yeah - I see his point on that too.

You're basically saying to him - I want you and not your baggage. See how that sounds?

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sorry but i do agree too...unfortunately his debt will become your debt and vice versa. When youre engaged you dont see it that way with finances still being separate and not putting in together. But guess what after the wedding you will see the effects. If his credit is bad and you try buying a place then guess what his bad credit will effect you and prevent you from buying a place. I mean anything you two try doing it will effect bc anything you two buy together this will come into play. Then it can cause problems bc if you cant get something bc of his debt then you will blame him.

Another thing is that after you two are married you are sharing bills. You will pay for your rent/mortgage together it wont be just one sided. You will both contribute towards groceries, utility bills, car payments or anything else there is. If he has a debt he needs to take care of then he might not be able to contribute as much as you do and this is how problems happen many times. They say the biggest problem for married couples is money issues.

To be honest with you, one of the first things i would do is pay off his debt, even if its half of it and then him paying the rest in installments. Trust me that you dont want to enter a marriage with debt, and you want for both of you to have good credit...the market is horrible now and they are VERY VERY VERY careful now. One friend of ours has 730 credit score, has ALOT of money in the bank and owns his own business and when he tried to buy a house recently he was approved but he declined it bc they gave him a VERY high interest rate. The whole thing about him owning a business actually hurt him since he is self employed and the whole income thing came into play bc with situations like this the bank can question it. Honestly i would give anything to pay off Dh's debt. I wish it was only $4k but he still owes alot from his school loans and infact i am trying to think of ways now to pay it off. It would benefit both of us if his debt is paid off.

You need to thing of eachother as one now and realize that his situation will effect you after marriage and vice versa.

JMO
if he's the only one working now and after the wedding, then what difference does it make if he pays it off now or by feb 09?
its going to be your debt, not only his.
we had accounts together before we were married and it was always our money.

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Posted by kslmbuggie

His debt DOES NOT become your debt once you are married, this is a big misconception people have. His financial responsibilties remain his, and yours remain yours. Whatever debt you take on 2gether, i.e. mortgage, cc's, etc. then those become both of your obligations.

As far as the wedding money goes, technically 50% of it is his. You guys should be able to agree on what you want to do with the money, but if he wants to pay off his debt the he should be able to do so. It will benefit both of you in the long run. He will have less money going out monthly to cc bills, which means more money in the household, & his reduced credit risk will increase his credit score which will help with loans and such in the future.

gl

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yeah but someone being in debt can effect you to get a mortgage that is the problem and what i dont think others understand. Dh and i are going through so many problems getting a mortgage, we are going through the process for the 3rd time now. First time they charged us INSANE closing costs and we didnt like other things they did. Then 2nd time we had 2 appraisals but when we went to the bank they said they want their own guy to appraise it and this guy did an appraisal SOOOOO way off from the other 2, not to mention i also had it appraised another time a while ago and it was way off so we had to say no. Now we have a mortgage approved but nobody is giving us insurance, one problem is even with good credit, dh has a big debt and bc of that there is problems now. SO yes his debt does effect us. I cant even complain bc my credit isnt that great, although i checked it recently bc i have been paying off stuff the past 2 years and i see things on there that i have NOOOOO clue about so i have to call and investigate. But as you can see that both of our previous debts effects eachother.

I mean how do you get a mortage, car, and other things if one person is in debt, it helps when both ppl are at a good standing. Your previous financial problems do enter your marriage once you are married. Before we got married DH took care of paying off his own debts, he pays it off every month but his school loans were extremely high so it is taking time. He was at almost 700 credit score but ill also say that with all the inquiries the mortgage companies have done the past months it has lowered it, inquiries screw you over badly. But problem is even when you have a good credit score, they also check your income to debt ratio.

Not only that but like i said, if one person has a debt to pay off then guess what there are times they cant put in money towards other things. This can cause problems in marriages and what is a huge problem with many marriages.

I agree w/ your FH too..

Its sad that he has this debt and by you agreeing to marry him, you're accepting him as he is.. debt or debt free. So u really have to support your FH.

Money will come & go in your life ahead together.. just be supportive of each other as much as possible.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by kslmbuggie

His debt DOES NOT become your debt once you are married, this is a big misconception people have. His financial responsibilties remain his, and yours remain yours. Whatever debt you take on 2gether, i.e. mortgage, cc's, etc. then those become both of your obligations.

As far as the wedding money goes, technically 50% of it is his. You guys should be able to agree on what you want to do with the money, but if he wants to pay off his debt the he should be able to do so. It will benefit both of you in the long run. He will have less money going out monthly to cc bills, which means more money in the household, & his reduced credit risk will increase his credit score which will help with loans and such in the future.

gl

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yeah but someone being in debt can effect you to get a mortgage that is the problem and what i dont think others understand. Dh and i are going through so many problems getting a mortgage, we are going through the process for the 3rd time now. First time they charged us INSANE closing costs and we didnt like other things they did. Then 2nd time we had 2 appraisals but when we went to the bank they said they want their own guy to appraise it and this guy did an appraisal SOOOOO way off from the other 2, not to mention i also had it appraised another time a while ago and it was way off so we had to say no. Now we have a mortgage approved but nobody is giving us insurance, one problem is even with good credit, dh has a big debt and bc of that there is problems now. SO yes his debt does effect us. I cant even complain bc my credit isnt that great, although i checked it recently bc i have been paying off stuff the past 2 years and i see things on there that i have NOOOOO clue about so i have to call and investigate. But as you can see that both of our previous debts effects eachother.

I mean how do you get a mortage, car, and other things if one person is in debt, it helps when both ppl are at a good standing. Your previous financial problems do enter your marriage once you are married. Before we got married DH took care of paying off his own debts, he pays it off every month but his school loans were extremely high so it is taking time. He was at almost 700 credit score but ill also say that with all the inquiries the mortgage companies have done the past months it has lowered it, inquiries screw you over badly. But problem is even when you have a good credit score, they also check your income to debt ratio.

Not only that but like i said, if one person has a debt to pay off then guess what there are times they cant put in money towards other things. This can cause problems in marriages and what is a huge problem with many marriages.

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oh the debt definitely affects both of you, but many people think that debts become combined which is not true.

regarding inquiries, each inquiry does reduce your credit score 2-3 points, but if you are applying for a mortgage with multiple companies with a 30 day period you are not peanlized for this. the credit bureaus understand that you are shopping for rates, but if you do this over a period of time then it will negatively affect you.

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Posted by wifetobe

I wish my FH only had $4k worth of credit card debt!! HOLY CR AP THAT'S GOOD!!!

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I totally agree!!! I wish I only had $4,000 in cc debt. We both have a lot of deb. That we are going to work on paying off. But we are doing better than we once were. I just pray we both get better paying jobs to make paying these off much easier. We are both looking!

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Posted by kslmbuggie

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by kslmbuggie

His debt DOES NOT become your debt once you are married, this is a big misconception people have. His financial responsibilties remain his, and yours remain yours. Whatever debt you take on 2gether, i.e. mortgage, cc's, etc. then those become both of your obligations.

As far as the wedding money goes, technically 50% of it is his. You guys should be able to agree on what you want to do with the money, but if he wants to pay off his debt the he should be able to do so. It will benefit both of you in the long run. He will have less money going out monthly to cc bills, which means more money in the household, & his reduced credit risk will increase his credit score which will help with loans and such in the future.

gl

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yeah but someone being in debt can effect you to get a mortgage that is the problem and what i dont think others understand. Dh and i are going through so many problems getting a mortgage, we are going through the process for the 3rd time now. First time they charged us INSANE closing costs and we didnt like other things they did. Then 2nd time we had 2 appraisals but when we went to the bank they said they want their own guy to appraise it and this guy did an appraisal SOOOOO way off from the other 2, not to mention i also had it appraised another time a while ago and it was way off so we had to say no. Now we have a mortgage approved but nobody is giving us insurance, one problem is even with good credit, dh has a big debt and bc of that there is problems now. SO yes his debt does effect us. I cant even complain bc my credit isnt that great, although i checked it recently bc i have been paying off stuff the past 2 years and i see things on there that i have NOOOOO clue about so i have to call and investigate. But as you can see that both of our previous debts effects eachother.

I mean how do you get a mortage, car, and other things if one person is in debt, it helps when both ppl are at a good standing. Your previous financial problems do enter your marriage once you are married. Before we got married DH took care of paying off his own debts, he pays it off every month but his school loans were extremely high so it is taking time. He was at almost 700 credit score but ill also say that with all the inquiries the mortgage companies have done the past months it has lowered it, inquiries screw you over badly. But problem is even when you have a good credit score, they also check your income to debt ratio.

Not only that but like i said, if one person has a debt to pay off then guess what there are times they cant put in money towards other things. This can cause problems in marriages and what is a huge problem with many marriages.

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oh the debt definitely affects both of you, but many people think that debts become combined which is not true.

regarding inquiries, each inquiry does reduce your credit score 2-3 points, but if you are applying for a mortgage with multiple companies with a 30 day period you are not peanlized for this. the credit bureaus understand that you are shopping for rates, but if you do this over a period of time then it will negatively affect you.

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yeah no i dont mean that legally his debt becomes yours but it does effect both people

well unfortunately they have penalized DH and badly, we got a letter recently about all the inquiries and how it effected his score, im so upset about this and its such BS that they do this

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Posted by ldrenckhahn

ITA with FutureMulligan

Plus if you're going to buy a home together at some point, you're both going to need good credit in order to get a good rate. Although it is unfortunate that your FH has debt, it seems to be balanced out by the fact that he is/will be supporting you. Isn't that what marriage is? A partnership?

I just don't get your thinking...

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i agree completely.

i'd personally just pay as much as possible now and pay off the remainder with the wedding money. then you can just 'pay' yourselves back whatever you used (ie - you make yourselves put a certain amount of money back in the bank on top of your normal savings amount until the $4000 is back). i'd rather just get it over and done with before the interest kicks in.

My opinion is what I have done with my college credit card debt.

I applied to a 0% credit card on balance transfers.
Each month I paid as much as I could according to other expenses. A few months before the credit card introductory offer was to expire I would start looking at others coming through the mail.

It doesnt matter how much you pay as long as you pay the minimum. his minimum will probably be no more than $130 I think it is worth it.

Good luck.

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Posted by wifetobe

I wish my FH only had $4k worth of credit card debt!! HOLY CR AP THAT'S GOOD!!!

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SAME HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


ETA: We are very fortunate that I am 100% debt free! I work TWO jobs and have been taught that when a bill comes it should be paid off in full so that there there is no finance charges.
FH has been trying to bring down his debt but it's difficult especially since he also uses his own credit card when he travels for work and they take forever to reinburse him.
Unfortunately we will probably be using some of our wedding gift money to pay off his debt because I do not want to start our new life with debt.

Money is a very hard thing for couples to talk about.
DH and I decided before we got married that whatever monies we get from the wedding will be divided in to three things, his, mine and ours(for the house, car, house bills, etc.). That way we can each pay something towards our personal debt while also having a nest egg.
I have the bigger debt out of the two of us- acutally DH is practically debt free except for one more bill he has to pay which is like $300. Then he'll be completely out of debt as I have a few years (I consolidated all my credit cards and are now paying each month). However I don't see my debt as his because it was acquired before I met him.
If he offers to help me pay it off I will not refuse that but if not, then I will do it on my own like I have been doing... to me it's not a big deal but I see it as only MY debt not his and mine.
I was able to help DH (as an offer not because he told me I needed to help- I offered) a bit here and there so he can get out of debt but I didn't (and he didn't ) make me feel obligated to pay off his debt.

I hope this makes sense- imo it's still his debt that he had prior to you getting engaged- depending on your situation (if you can afford to) I would help him out but make him understand that as much as you care and love him your not obligating yourself to paying off his racked up debt.

I would also want as much paid off before you get married. Those 0.0% offers are really nice and DH kept transfering balances to new offers as the old ones kept expiring...that helped alot.

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Posted by wifetobe

I wish my FH only had $4k worth of credit card debt!! HOLY CR AP THAT'S GOOD!!!

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I agree!! My FH has over 10k in debt... But a lot of that is wedding costs.. My FH and I NEVER fight over money... It's just money and if its there, its there, if its not, its not... No need to argue over a factious situation... FH has debt from his past relationship still after being with me for over 3 years, but whatever he spends on the wedding we are splitting.. After the wedding, his debt becomes mine so we will work it out together... I don't have much debt, maybe $1,000... Cash is my BEST FRIEND! When you get married, really what yours is his and what his is yours including debt... That's the way I look at it anyway... FH and I have everything worked out down to the penny that we don't have to worry about who pays what... Obviously, we have to make the money before that 10k starts to go away and we have to stop spending!! I just don't see the need to fight over money... It will all work out though.. Try to talk to him instead of right away telling him you don't want to pay his past debt.