Hi Ladies. I don't post often, but have been around for a while. I'm looking for some feedback. My FMIL and I have a nice relationship. A few bumps in the road, but nothing significant, just the kind of things that happen in any relationship. She called today, because FH asked her for her list so we can get the invitation list going. After a little phone tag, I called her back, and wants to come over with FFIL to discuss it. She also mentioned that she is unsure of what her role is as mother of the groom, and wants to be more involved. Here's the thing: FH and I have done most of the planning ourselves, and at 33 and 34 aren't really looking for a lot of input. To be fair, we really haven't discussed our plans with them very much. We aren't getting married in church, and know they don't approve, so I don't want ro rub it in their faces. I am looking for ways to make her feel included, and know that we love and respect them very much. I thought of showing her pictures of my dress, looking at the invitations we purchased, and maybe even inviting them to the venue when we do our menus. Any suggestions for me?
daniebc16
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Re: I need advice, kind of long
why don't you take her with you to your dress fitting, I know my FMIL wants to go!
RobbsWifey
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Re: I need advice, kind of long
Why don't you suggest her talking to your BM's who are in charge of your shower. This way she can contribute something for the shower such as the cake, the wishing well, a towel cake, etc... and in this way she's putting in her own time, effort and ideas into a part of your wedding experience. Good luck!
kat107
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Re: I need advice, kind of long
Thanks for the thoughts, I really appreciate your input!
Mooshyboo
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Re: I need advice, kind of long
I was going to say would you want to bring her with you when you do your dress fittings 2...(my FMIL offered to go with me to look @ dresses & she wants to be more involved 2) or if you are doing any last minutes DIY or favors....
giggles62
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Re: I need advice, kind of long
My FMIL live in Brooklyn and I live on Long Island. She wants to be more involved but everything I do is always with vendors out here. She does not drive on parkways so she cant drive herself out here. Anyway I always give her an update on where we are with the planning, what vendors we saw and ask for her opinion. She seems to be ok with that and I feel like she is included.
What about when it comes time for the rehersal dinner maybe she could help plan it?
kat107
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Re: I need advice, kind of long
That's a good idea, about giving her updates. We haven't done that too often, and when we have, its been without much detail. We're pretty private about our relationship, and I guess we've carried that over into the wedding planning. Maybe she'd feel more a part of it if we gave her more details. I guess we are afraid of criticism or negativity, and have felt like if we were guarded enough, those things couldn't come. Looks like it backfired, though! Thanks again for all the suggestions, definitely lots to consider!
