I need answers

Original post by shamma

Apr 18, 2003 03:45 PM

Since I have been home today, I have been watching a baby's story, I saw one woman who started going in reverse after she got to about 8 or 9, what happened?? did the baby change its mine?? How can you go from dilating to no more dilating???Please explain, b/c she had to get a c-section and she started having a fever. This labor thing is no joke. thanks

michele31 Posted: Apr 21, 2003 08:25 AM

Re: I need answers

I think those shows LOVE to show the 'worst' side of labor/delivery. There are people who don't have horror stories. Also, look into hypno-birthing. I saw it on Dateling many years ago and have looked at that as a way of possibly NOT having a horror story to tell.

Also, I think it is awful when women try to scare other women aboout labor/delivery. Some women just feel a need to tell you that 'it is awful, horrible, unbearable' etcc..... why do that? You can be truthful, but everyone is different and each birth is unique. Why try to make 1st time Moms more afraid? I just don't understand that.

shamma Posted: Apr 21, 2003 11:10 AM

Re: I need answers

Michelle for the shock and awe effect probably. I have the worst fear that my v.a.g.i.n.a. is going to burst open and it will never get back to normal size. I think that is also one of my many fears. The cut/episiotomy(sp) will it heal quickly, will I enjoy sex again. I guess I will discuss all these things withy my Dr when my time comes.

Claud2001 Posted: Apr 21, 2003 02:41 PM

Re: I need answers

Shamma - you will heal and you will enjoy intimate experiences again! The human body has an amazing ability to return to its normal state of being. Don't worry - your life does not end b/c of a baby's birth.

Maternity Ward or Labor & Delivery are TV SHOWS - and while they try to make it seem like it's real life, there is a lot of post-production that comes into play - like adding music, editing, etc. to add fear or drama to certain scenes.

And this is JMO, but I want to add that as educated people, women have to realize that labor and delivery always carries w/it a certain amount of risk - even if its considered a normal pregnancy.

I do not believe that women tell 'horror' stories about their own L&D. It is painful, but if you are afraid of pain, than that will sound 'horrific' to you. I think people MUST take into account that labor is a highly individualized experience - every woman has a differing threshold for pain, every woman has a differing level of tolerance for dealing w/bodily functions and blood and other unpleasant parts of L&D, and consequently, every woman will remember the experience differently.

I do not think that women say 'it was awful' or 'it is very painful' purposely to scare other women or 1st time Moms. On the contrary, I think that is probably just their honest opinions and memories of the experience. You have to take certain things that people say w/a grain of salt and educate yourself as much as possible, so that you are prepared exactly as you want to be for your own birth experience.

Elizabeth Posted: Apr 21, 2003 03:24 PM

Re: I need answers

Claud-
Great explanation of the perception of horror stories. I was going to reply earlier but I couldn't think of how to word it. I agree with you. Now that I am a Mother I can see that most of the time women are not trying to scare non-Moms/Moms-to-be, it's just that once sentence doesn't cover it at all. For example, if you had a long and arduous L&D you can't just say 'it was tough' if you are conversing about it. But you said it so great

For anyone with fears or concerns, definitely talk to your DR or MW about them. The more you discuss your fears and shine light on them, the less power they have over you.

phyl Posted: Apr 21, 2003 04:12 PM

Re: I need answers

good answers CLaud and Elizabeth.
Shamma, dont scare yourself now- you are still in the planning stages of preg, right?
One thing the MWs told me is to AVOID THOSE SHOWS LIKE THE PLAGUE... they look for DRAMA - thats why it is on TV. I would try so hard, but then get ****ed into the show..at the end I would always cry- in happiness- but def not the show to watch when u r planning or are preg.

yes- it will hurt
how much? depends on the indiv person. I dont work out altho I should- so jogging a distance is hard for me. If I remember correctly, you DO work out- so that same jog may not be sooo hard for you. Get it? it is a WONDERFUL experience that has different levels to it.
And for the same mom- each preg is different!

so, what you may have watched is a preg where the mom was given drugs, and after a spell, her contractions slowed down, so they may have given her pitocin or they decided to give her a c section. Or maybe she was a hi risk preg, her blood pressure dropped and slowed the contractions, etc.

Do ask questions but realize, again- and I am not belittling u- u are still in the planning stages. Read as much as you can from EDUCATED sources, talk to your ob-gyn or midwife. When you get preg, BUY the book 'what to expect when u r expecting' and take a childbirth class. I found most of my fears were allieviated the more I educated myself.

Best of luck to you and hubby!

Lee Posted: Apr 21, 2003 04:24 PM

Re: I need answers

Shamma, I just have to add that with my due date only 3 weeks away - I cannot WAIT to have this baby. Labor is going to be whatever it is. There is nothing I can do about it and I'm certainly not going to worry myself about it. I'm sure it will hurt, but I know how I want to deal with the pain. I've discussed it with my doctors, etc. Believe me, at this point, I am looking forward to getting this baby OUT!! Don't get me wrong - as I'm sitting here typing this watching a foot stick out of the right side of stomach, I love every minute of this life inside of me, but believe me - I am ready to face labor!!

I occasionally watch Baby Story when I am home and I end up in tears over the emtion of the whole thing, but I certainly don't let those types of shows influence or worry me. As the much more knowledgeable ladies here have pointed out, it is different for everyone, and those shows are just shows. I even stopped reading the **** books after a while when I felt they were too preachy or scaring me into thinking something was wrong or I was doing something wrong. You will handle your pregnancy wonderfully when the time comes!! I have witnessed my body do some amazing things in these last 8 1/2 months and I have every confidence in my body's ability to handle what's to come!!

Of course you will all have to remind me about this brave statement about three weeks from now when I'm freaking out!!!!

shamma Posted: Apr 21, 2003 09:04 PM

Re: I need answers

I love all the ansswers given here. I am not pregnant yet and we are not going to try until the end of the year. I guess the things I point out are not overwhelming, they are more things that concern me. I know when my time comes my Dr is going to be sick of me with all the questions

Thanks all for answering, I appreciate it

Lee I will remind you

Stacey1403 Posted: Apr 21, 2003 10:01 PM

Re: I need answers

Thanks Ladies

NIHA Posted: Apr 23, 2003 11:41 AM

Re: I need answers

I asked my MW about the pushing thing with water birth and she said it depends on the individual (pelvic size, size of baby, previous births, etc.) but in general, there is no pushing or maybe a few gentle pushes with water birth. She also said that when someone is 10 cm dialated there is no reason to push a lot or for a long time. You can just wait and the baby will come out by the uterus pushing it out.

Claud2001 Posted: Apr 23, 2003 11:52 AM

Re: I need answers

Niha, I bet the no pushing thing is exclusive to water birth b/c of the water pressure that is exerted on your belly (from the outside) while it is submerged under water. That's the only way it makes sense to me (but, I'm no physics expert!) LOL! I've seen several water births - both on TV and in childbirth classes, and I remember at least a little pushing in all of them.

I do not think it's possible for a women to have a baby (at least a first baby) without any pushing on 'dry land' as you say.

NIHA Posted: Apr 23, 2003 11:58 AM

Re: I need answers

I'm no expert either so I have no idea. But, that's exactly what my MW said last night at my childbirth class. One lady is not having a water birth and she is giving birth at a different hospital w/o my MW. My MW told her that if you are fully dialated and they start telling you to push and you don't want to you don't have to. Her point was it will happen naturally without force and strain and the uterus will expel the baby. I know it sounds impossible, but I don't think she'd say it if it wasn't true!

Claud2001 Posted: Apr 23, 2003 12:00 PM

Re: I need answers

I want to find out more about this - for futuer reference!

NIHA Posted: Apr 23, 2003 12:02 PM

Re: I need answers

Oh, she also said that there is no indication in medical literature that after full dialation you must push. Pushing will make the baby come out quicker, but it's not entirely necessary. She also had 2 previous patients there, and they both had dry land births with her, one pushed 4 times and the other 6.