Brides Helping Brides ™ - I need opinions about shoes.......

kkss1419 Posted: Jul 26, 2007 12:39 PM

I need opinions about shoes.......

I have ran into a bit of an issue with shoes for my bridesmaids. I did not realize that shoes would even be an issue. Since the gown is floor length in a wine color, I had said everyone could wear black shoes. 3 of them (there are 4 all together plus a Junior BM) complained as they thought black wouldn't look good walking down the isle, particularly on the one girl who is 5'11'. So I was looking around online and I found a dyeable shoe I loved that came in 4 different heel heights. Two weren't thrilled with the style. I don't want to be picky about the shoes (everyone is comfortable in different things & they have to stand in them all day), so I went to a local store that specializes in dyeable shoes. The cost of the shoe includes the dying charge. I told them all they could go to that store and pick out any shoe they wanted as long as all the shoes were dyed the same color. Now 2 of them are complaining about the cost. (The shoes range in price from about $48 - $62 with 10% off). Mind you, none of them have complained to me, I'm hearing it all second hand. The dress was $180 plus alterations capped at $60. Which I thought was a little pricy, but they were all very happy. So now I feel like I am being unreasonable. Should I be concerned about the shoes matching? How much should the shoes cost? Sorry this is so long, just looking for a few opinions.......

davenjess Posted: Jul 26, 2007 12:42 PM

Re: I need opinions about shoes.......

I don't know how picky you want to be with this...you could go two ways.

1. Let them pick their own shoes - if they're the ones who are concerned - just pick a color and let them choose the shoe. This way - everyone is comfortable and you didn't mind anyways about the shoes - as they're floor length gowns & they really won't be seen.

2. Let them realize that this is life - the bride gets to pick what she wants & they have to realize that part of being in a wedding is caring that the bride asks for specific things.

Hope this helps...

BNBride60 Posted: Jul 26, 2007 01:00 PM

Re: I need opinions about shoes.......

Why don't you tell them that they can get any dyeable shoe they want from anywhere they want, and that they just have to dye it the color of the dress.

Someone did that when i was their BM and I ended up getting $20 shoes on the internet and dying them for like $6.

I can only understand their complaint because they can never wear these shoes again. And, even then, I don't think I'd personally complain about it, but I don't know their $ situation.

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted: Jul 26, 2007 01:03 PM

Re: I need opinions about shoes.......

Personally, I would tell them it has to be a certain color and type (open toed v closed), but whatever shoes they find within those categories, they can wear... This eliminates the whole price issue

kkss1419 Posted: Jul 26, 2007 04:50 PM

Re: I need opinions about shoes.......

Posted by Jess125483

Why don't you tell them that they can get any dyeable shoe they want from anywhere they want, and that they just have to dye it the color of the dress.

Someone did that when i was their BM and I ended up getting $20 shoes on the internet and dying them for like $6.

I can only understand their complaint because they can never wear these shoes again. And, even then, I don't think I'd personally complain about it, but I don't know their $ situation.

After the initial issues with complaints about black shoes, that is what I figured I would do. Someone (I have no idea at this point, everyone has an opinion about weddings) mentioned that since the dresses are a shade of red that if they are all dyed at different locations, they would look funny. I am kinda clueless about planning a wedding and basically winging it. I have never even been a BM before. Am I worrying about nothing?

BNBride60 Posted: Jul 26, 2007 05:14 PM

Re: I need opinions about shoes.......

Posted by kkss1419

Posted by Jess125483

Why don't you tell them that they can get any dyeable shoe they want from anywhere they want, and that they just have to dye it the color of the dress.

Someone did that when i was their BM and I ended up getting $20 shoes on the internet and dying them for like $6.

I can only understand their complaint because they can never wear these shoes again. And, even then, I don't think I'd personally complain about it, but I don't know their $ situation.

After the initial issues with complaints about black shoes, that is what I figured I would do. Someone (I have no idea at this point, everyone has an opinion about weddings) mentioned that since the dresses are a shade of red that if they are all dyed at different locations, they would look funny. I am kinda clueless about planning a wedding and basically winging it. I have never even been a BM before. Am I worrying about nothing?

HOnestly, my cousin had 10 BMs and there was no way we were going to all be able to get them dyed at the same place. We all got them dyed on our own and everythign was fine. On top of the fact that NO ONE will see or notice the BM shoes, any discrepancies in the color will be so minor that I doubt anyone will notice.

It's such a miniscule detail, I'd highly recommend telling them to find any pair anywhere they want and dye them to match the dress. That will save you so much stress!!!!

JACK808 Posted: Jul 26, 2007 05:18 PM

Re: I need opinions about shoes.......

After the initial issues with complaints about black shoes, that is what I figured I would do. Someone (I have no idea at this point, everyone has an opinion about weddings) mentioned that since the dresses are a shade of red that if they are all dyed at different locations, they would look funny. I am kinda clueless about planning a wedding and basically winging it. I have never even been a BM before. Am I worrying about nothing?

Honestly, I would not worry about their shoes being slightly different shades of red. It will NOT be noticeable, and no one will look funny! I think you're being more than fair by letting them pick out their own shoes and getting them dyed wherever, and if I were your BM you would hear no complaints from me!

luvmyhoney Posted: Jul 26, 2007 05:23 PM

Re: I need opinions about shoes.......

I have mixed opionions about this because I kinda had the same issue with my girls. In the grand scheme of things you really won't notice the shoes too much but I do agree that they should be dyed at the same place. I was in a wedding last year and the shoes were all different shades of pink and it looked tacky. I also look at it like when you are asked to be a BM these are the things and expenses that come with it - deal with it and get the shoes that the bride has chosen. My girls finally agreed and we paid $60 including the dyeing. If this is something you are particular about with how you want the girls to look I would stick to it. Hope this doesn't come off too harsh!

th24s Posted: Jul 26, 2007 07:40 PM

Re: I need opinions about shoes.......

My girls didn't want dyeable, so they are doing silver metallic. Maybe your girls could do silver or gold metallic. If not, I know David's bridal will dye the shoes if bought there for $15.00. I don't know if there is one close to you.

Either way, I hope it works out for you.

znycgirl Posted: Jul 26, 2007 07:44 PM

Re: I need opinions about shoes.......

They all complian no matter what. I told mine (same color dress) to wear whatever color shoes they wanted....and they wanted to match!

No one will see the shoes on my dress type!

kflan75 Posted: Jul 26, 2007 10:18 PM

Re: I need opinions about shoes.......

i let my girls pick their own shoes...either silver or dyed to match... no one looks at their feet, esp in floor length dresses.

jtgarsik Posted: Jul 26, 2007 10:36 PM

Re: I need opinions about shoes.......

Posted by Jess125483

Why don't you tell them that they can get any dyeable shoe they want from anywhere they want, and that they just have to dye it the color of the dress.

Someone did that when i was their BM and I ended up getting $20 shoes on the internet and dying them for like $6.

I can only understand their complaint because they can never wear these shoes again. And, even then, I don't think I'd personally complain about it, but I don't know their $ situation.

FYI - just be careful with sending them to different places.....different place have different dye lots and ur girls could end up with all different shades of their 'color'. You need to tell them that ANYWHERE they go it's going to be in that price range if not more!!! I think u're right in what u did. U picked a store, and said 'Pick whatever shoe you want'....it doesn't get any easier for them! Costs come with accepting to be in a wedding party(as harsh as that sounds), and i honestly do NOT think that price is at all unreasonable....especially if that's including the dye costs! The shoes they wear on a daily basis probably cost more lol. if u're hearing it all second hand, i wouldn't even say anything. u've told them what to do.....if they haven't come to you about it & their just complaining to themselves then let it be their drama. u dont need any more things to worry about!

MrsStefan Posted: Jul 26, 2007 10:42 PM

Re: I need opinions about shoes.......

I think you need to TELL them BM's what you would like. I know it sounds harsh, but either way, you won't make everyone happy. I had wine colored dresses and they all wore black shoes. And to be honest, nobody at the wedding/reception knew what color they wore!!! It could have been yellow for all they knew!!! Black was perfect and they all picked a shoe that was comfortable.