I need serious HELP

wedding_girl Posted: Apr 04, 2010 09:51 PM

I need serious HELP

Ok, so one of my FH friends is a little mad at me. Please let me know if you think I did something wrong, be honest, i won't be mad.

Back before we even got engaged and his friend and I were talking and she asked if she would be in my bridal party. I said, well, I'm not really sure. If my FH and I decide to have a big bridal party then yes, but i'm not sure about anything yet b/c we're not even engaged yet. (my exact words).

My FH talked to her tonight and she noticed on my weddingbook app on facebook that she's not in there and she's very mad, claiming I told her she would be in it. My FH doesn't care either way, but what should I do??

I'm really not good friends with her, but now i feel forced to include her

Dramatica Posted: Apr 04, 2010 09:53 PM

Re: I need serious HELP

she's your FH's friend. It should be his call. If he doesn't care either way..why should you let it bother you?

JTG4EVER Posted: Apr 04, 2010 09:53 PM

Re: I need serious HELP

Don't feel forced. She is not your friend. If she was a guy, then she could be in it on his side. She will get over it. People who get pissed about that stuff aren't really your friends. I mean, if you want to put her in it just because it will solve the problem, then thats different. But if she is more friends with your FH then let him talk to her. He needs to deal with it. If you don't want her in it, then don't put her in it.

Danielle41209 Posted: Apr 04, 2010 09:55 PM

Re: I need serious HELP

How big is your wedding party? You did tell her that if you were having a big party you would include her. But your definition of big and hers might not be the same. If that's the case, let her know that you should have been more clear and that you were trying to keep it to close friends for your wedding party. If you don't want to add her, don't, but be careful about how you word things so she doesn't feel upset (again). Good luck!!

Ang9483 Posted: Apr 04, 2010 10:14 PM

Re: I need serious HELP

I wouldn't put her in unless YOU want her in. I the think the bridal party should be people you are close with and that you genuinely want in it with you.

JuneBride14 Posted: Apr 04, 2010 10:34 PM

Re: I need serious HELP

Posted by Ang9483

I wouldn't put her in unless YOU want her in. I the think the bridal party should be people you are close with and that you genuinely want in it with you.

ITA... it is your choice- your wedding. it should be filled with people who are closest to you. of course we would love to include more people into the BP than our budgets or visions typically allow. i would be afraid that if i included someone who i wasn't really close with that one of MY girlfriends who was not selected would be really offended

also, IMO your bridesmaids are supposed to be your female friends and do not need to include his female friends. as his groomsmen are his guy friends and not yours.

Tromsugar2b Posted: Apr 04, 2010 10:36 PM

Re: I need serious HELP

i kinda told someone they would be in my bp too, if they said anything now id be like....well what do you expect were not rly that good of freinds any more....in my opinion its your day, your pictures, your life, don't do it for someone else!

wedding_girl Posted: Apr 04, 2010 10:55 PM

Re: I need serious HELP

Thanks girls, my wedding party is only my sis as MOH and my 2 best friends from forever.

My FH thinks its better she's not in the party, i'm just the type of person that doesn't like hurting others feelings

belvedere Posted: Apr 04, 2010 11:01 PM

Re: I need serious HELP

Posted by Tromsugar2b

i kinda told someone they would be in my bp too, if they said anything now id be like....well what do you expect were not rly that good of freinds any more....in my opinion its your day, your pictures, your life, don't do it for someone else!

ITA!!

NellieBellie32 Posted: Apr 04, 2010 11:05 PM

Re: I need serious HELP

shes ur fh's friend......i have some of my own friends that are mad at me, but u cant have everyone...u need to draw the line somewhere and people just have to understand

wedding_girl Posted: Apr 05, 2010 12:17 AM

Re: I need serious HELP

Posted by NellieBellie32

shes ur fh's friend......i have some of my own friends that are mad at me, but u cant have everyone...u need to draw the line somewhere and people just have to understand

That's very true, I just have to say that to her without getting irritated lol

FutureJOC Posted: Apr 05, 2010 07:02 AM

Re: I need serious HELP

You should not have to feel forced to put someone in your BP. Esp. if FH doesn't seem to care one way or the other, then do not put her in if you really don't want to. It makes no sense since you're not even close to her.

wedding_girl Posted: Apr 05, 2010 08:19 AM

Re: I need serious HELP

Thanks 4 all the advice girls

I'm gonna have to do damage control today

Notwedyet08 Posted: Apr 05, 2010 08:54 AM

Re: I need serious HELP

It's totally YOUR decision!! You shouldn't feel forced to add her.

My FH has a VERY close female friend that he calls his 'sister' I'm putting her in the BP; but only because I want to. He hasn't said anything; she hasn't said anything about it (i haven't officially asked her yet). I don't think she should 'push' you into asking her. You've got to make sure it's the girls you want!

jwleewedding Posted: Apr 05, 2010 09:31 AM

Re: I need serious HELP

it's your wedding, you should never be 'forced' to do anything. the bp is YOUR choice, so if you really aren't that close to her, why would you ask her to be in it?

doesn't make sense to me... and she IMO has no right to be upset.

Corinne Ann Posted: Apr 05, 2010 09:34 AM

Re: I need serious HELP

no you dont need to have her in it... if he really wanted her that would be different but since he doesnt care.... not necessary

Moonmist09 Posted: Apr 05, 2010 09:55 AM

Re: I need serious HELP

let her be mad. she will get over it.
don't feel pressured to put anyone in your bridal party that you don't want in there.

you never actually told her she was going to be in it, so she probably thought she would be but she isn't.

people can be really catty sometimes...

WeezyGirl2354 Posted: Apr 05, 2010 09:59 AM

Re: I need serious HELP

It's your decision and she is kind of a fool to just assume she will be in it b/c she is your FH's friend.

If anything - maybe just clear it up what you meant by 'small' i guess that is the only thing that could be confusing for her.

Maybe there is another roll she can have in the wedding - a reader or something? Maybe she can hand out programs or something like that.

FutureMrsLots Posted: Apr 05, 2010 11:24 AM

Re: I need serious HELP

Speaking from a similar situation. she never told me that I was in the bridal party but he always did, (I was close friends with him not her). Even after they got engaged, I figured that I wasn't goign to be in it because I wasn't friens with her. But low and behold, he asked me to be in the bridal party. It started off that I was going to be a groomswomen, but then turned into a bridesmaid. I was so happy that they asked me and her and I are good friends now. I asked her to be in my wedding, out of respect for him and because she asked me.

It's a hard situation, but if they are close friends you might need to do the right thing. You can play it off like you were finished adding everyone if you decide to ask her.