So I'm a BM in my cousins wedding which is in October. I just got an email from the MOH who said that they want to go away for the bacholorette party - from August 24 (a Thursday) to the 28 (Monday). I guess I'm looking for feedback on how much is too much to expect from the bridal party. I don't know that I'm going to have 3 days to take off b/c I'm taking off 3 weeks for my wedding in May. No one knows where we're going yet (probably Florida or Vegas) but it is wrong that I feel that asking us to spend hundreds of dollars to go away is asking too much? Feedback is much appreciated - thanks!!
PrincessRose
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Re: I need some feedback please
I completely agree that it's too much. An Unreasonable request By Far. If everyone's good to go for it, that's one thing, but no one ought to be pressured to spend that kind of money.
soon2bmrsdunn
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Re: I need some feedback please
Posted by PrincessRose
I completely agree that it's too much. An Unreasonable request By Far. If everyone's good to go for it, that's one thing, but no one ought to be pressured to spend that kind of money.
I agree.
werock0709
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Hmmmmmmm. Thats a tough call. Being that your planning your own wedding, and have first priority expenses, I think that may be too much to ask. Keep in mind your also taking 3 weeks off of work as well for yourself. Me personally I would regretfully decline. And hope there are NO hard feelings. Good Luck to you.
AutmBride
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I've had to do this too... florida, puerto rico.... it's a lot to ask. The expense is a pain but I had a really great time when I went. Try and think of it as a vacation and the time off and cost isn't as bothersome. My cousin is having a destination wedding a few months before our wedding that will cost me over a grand, but what can I do? Again, it's a lot to ask but sometimes you just have to suck it up. that's why my bachelorette will be a camping trip, cheap and good times :O)
itslaurie.
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Re: I need some feedback please
We went to Miami for a 3 day weekend for my friends wedding, and I know this kind of 'bachelorette weekend' is getting more and more popular.
But everyones financial/work situation is different, and so I don't think you are expected to attend this sort of event if it is going to place a strain on your finances or requested time off.
At least, in my situation and of those closer to me - they were not expected to join. The ones that couldn't join even opted to invite the bride and the bridal party out for a drink after the weekend to check out pictures and hear all about it.
eta - work time off.
nygirl77
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Re: I need some feedback please
Maybe see if she can change it for a Friday-Sunday type of thing. This way you won't have use any vacation time. You can just tell the MOH that you won't have the vacation time to use. But perhaps make other suggestions as well.
LaurenluvsTJ
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I think thats wayyy to much... NO one should be expected to take off work and spend hundreds of dollars of a bachelorette party. I really don't understand the whole going away thing.
soontobemrsmurray
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I am actually in the same situation. I am in a friends wedding in July and the MOH wants to plan something for Vegas for a few days (5 days), but I am getting married in Nov and taking off of work for 3 1/2 weeks, and I only have 2 weeks vacation (so as it is I am taking 1 1/2 weeks without pay), so money is definitely an issue. I think money is an issue for everyone (whether you are getting married or not), so I brought it up and everyone agreed and we are actually going to go away for the weekend - 2 nights - to Fire Island (much cheaper). I think you should just bring it up to the girls and suggest other things. Their is so much to do locally that will be much cheaper than flying somewhere and staying away for 4 or 5 nights. I think these bachelorette/bachelor parties have gotten out of hand! With having to buy a shower gift, and a wedding gift, and the expense of the dress and accessories, it is way to much to ask of someone to go away on top of that!
tracy2246
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Re: I need some feedback please
I think if you can afford it and can take the time off go-especially if it is one of your good friends and you have other friends in the BP-then it can be a mini vacation with the ladies- but if not just explain...
I am planning on going away and I also have let the girls know that if they can't do it no worries..that we would plan somthing smaller local so we can all celebrate...but I aslo know that even if only a few of my girls wanted to go that I would have fun...
Mystere
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JMO but I think it's asking for too much - especially since you need the money and the days off for your wedding!
JazzyT
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Re: I need some feedback please
This one is tough, because you are getting married a couple months before her and you are off for three weeks, then you have expenses you will be recooperating from (wedding) then upcoming expenses like buying a house or condo or other husband/wife expenses. I think its difficult for the MOH to impose this kind of request without considering everyone. Your cousin should understand.
babybug631
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If you can't do it, you can't do it. I wouldn't put myself in a bad financial situation for a bachelorette party. Yeah, it's nice to go to Vegas, but not when I don't have money. 4 nights in Vegas is more than a few hundred dollars. Be honest and suggest you keep it nearby.
Reesa
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Re: I need some feedback please
Maybe you can suggest a one-night-out separate from the trip for those who can't make it. That's what I was going to do when we were planning a get away bparty. We ended up doing a weekend in the city-which worked out great--some people came friday night, some came saturday night and some both!
roxyspark
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Re: I need some feedback please
Now I love to party and have a great time, but I do think it is unreasonable to expect everyone to take time off from work and spend hundreds of dollars.
If you don't feel comfortable doing this, then you should tell them you can't go.
ETA: I would rather have all my girlfriends together at a local dive bar then to go away to a nice place and only a few people come.
Summer101
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Re: I need some feedback please
Too much to ask. They shouldn't hold it against you if you can't do it. Those who can afford to go and can take time off should go, and the others should understand those who cannot. Wow- I thought asking everyone for a spa day and dinner was a lot lol
Mrs. dleeny
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some people have more $ to spend than others. IMO, the bride and the entire BP should decide what to do. it is unfair of 1 or 2 people to make the plans.
kaklesmay
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Re: I need some feedback please
I would go for as long as you can. If you can swing 2 days, do it. I wouldnt blow it off all together. Maybe you can have a 2nd party when she gets back.
L&M2006
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Thanks all!! I doubt I'll be the only one who thinks it is too much to ask. I'll see what they come up w/ and see if there is any room to compromise. Thanks again!
Maybride519
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I personally feel that it is asking much. I feel bad that my girls will be chipping in for a limo for my bachelorette party and it is going to be split between 10 people. I can't imagine expecting people to come up with hundreds of dollars and to take days off of work, especially since you are getting married yourself and have financial responsibilities of your own. If you think you can afford the time off and the trip itself...I'd say go for it, but I can't see the bride getting mad at you if you don't. It is understandable. OK...I'm done. Sorry so long. Good luck with whatever you decide
