I NEED SOME GOOD ANSWERS TO TELL PEOPLE TO LEAVE ME ALONE

My line used to be 'we are still enjoying each other right now' or 'when the lord is ready with bless us.' Both statements were followed with a big smile.

I was saying this two weeks before I found out I was pregnant at a family gathering.

I get these questions all the time, not only from my family members and coworkers, but yes, sometimes from complete strangers. I got tired of listening to my GF's tell me that I shouldn't wait because I am not getting any younger (gee, thanks for pointing that out) and I don't want to be in my 50's raising children (um, hello, I am not fortunate enought to have had all of my 4 children before I was 28!).

That said, I simply told everyone who has asked, including my parents, that we weren't planning on TTC until I made associate at my firm and my hubby got his MBA (which is still a long ways off for both of us). So lately, we haven't heard a peep from the masses. They think we're some career driven couple not having kids until our 40's (ha!).

And yes, we hope they are really surprised when we tell them we are preggo, hopefully in the near future.

Shamma, I know what your going through because its been happening to me too. I've been married a little more than two years. My response when people say 'when are you going to have kids?' is 'Well- its not up to us- its up to mother nature!' and I smile. Even though we are TTC and I would love to be pregnant, people don't understand how hurtful and annoying these questions can be. Interesting story that happened to me last week- There were 3 other girls at work who got married around the same time as me and all had babies this past spring & summer. They are still on maternity leave but came to work to visit. I went in the break room to say hi and as I was leaving, I heard one yell across the break room to the other 'IS SHE PREGNANT?' Now, there was a room full of my colleagues...thats how rumors start. I SWEAR that the past week people have been looking at my tummy to see if its any bigger. Give me a break! What these people don't know and don't think of is that I would love to have a baby- but as I said sometimes mother nature does things her own way!

Shamma - a response to anyone from your church asking - you could tell them you'll make sure it's posted in the church bulletin, or that you'll arrange to have it annouched from the pulpit when it happens. Make light of it a bit, and then if you feel comfortable, tell them that in all honesty you get so many questions about it and you prefer not to be asked - but don't worry, they'll know when you're ready to announce.

For others that you want to give a 'none of your business' response to...

'Why, are you offering to... (insert your favorite)
... help with the expenses?
... pay for college?
... babysit?
... provide day care?

or.. Not yet, do you know a good fertility doctor or in-vitro clinic?

to you

I know what you mean Shamma. It hurts my feelings every time someone asks are we pregnant yet. I just say 'as soon as we are blessed -- we're just waiting for it to happen' or something like that that gets the point across that we are TTC but it's not happening.

I too ofcourse was in the same boat about a year and half ago when I asked a new friend if she and her husband had kids. They had been TTC for 4 years -- I felt so bad months later after we had been TTC for months and I realized how she must have felt when I asked that question since we've been having difficulty too. But I'm happy to say she now has a wonderful 7 month old son.

Thanks ladies, it feels so good to know that I am not alone in feeling this way.

Karne, girl, I am going to use the ones on my church family, they will definitely leave me alone now I love it

I also like the list for the regular folx


Hugs to everyone of us that have to deal with this none thinking insensitive people