I need some help in making this decision... (a little long)

I am starting law school this august and initially planned to get married next august. The issue at hand is that I am already getting busy with l. school related issues, (loans, pre-law school prep classes..yes im a dork etc) I have had no time to get anything wedding related accomplished as i wanted to before school began. I am trying to decide if we should change our date to summer of 2008, as it is almost August, my wedding will soon be LESS than a year away...and ive gotten NOTHING done, and will be starting my first year of law school- and dont plan on getting too much done since school is most important. Honest opinions are needed as this is a tricky situation.

The major downside is that i'd have to wait even longer to kiss my FH. We are both Christians and do not have a sexually physical relationship.

Sorry this is so long. Thanks for your help.

First allow me to say there is a special place in heaven reserved for you as you have the patience of a Saint for waiting...good for you! Lord knows I'm in BIG trouble when I approach the pearly gates

You're right this is tricky. It really depends on what you want out of a wedding. You can pull a great ceremony/reception together in 3 months if you had too and frankly at a great price. Vendors are desperate to book that soon in.

Do you need to get married in the month of August? Maybe you can split the difference and get married in early 08? How does your FH feel about waiting another year?

This is for you and I hope you don't get to stressed over this.

switch to 08. 1l is the hardest and most important year and you dont want any distractions.
if you do well first year, you're set.
and yes, there are more things going on 2nd and 3rd yr, but those years are less stressful ( sort of)

most employed recruit fall of your second year and only look at your grades from first year.

He doesnt mind waitng the extra year.

To clarify:
In summer 07 it will be the end of my first year, and in summer 08 it will be the end of my second year. We're not too attached to August, but I'm not sure how it would be to get married in the middle of school, which would be the case if we got married in early 2008. It'd be smack dab in the middle of christmas break....

The only other alternative i can think of, is that we hire a wedding planner, fork over the money and thus the control...how involved would i really have to be if we had someone plan it for us?

I really need some help here, Im not sure whom else to ask for advice

yea, thats why i think you should switch. 07 will be the summer after 1l, which means you will be doing most your planning 1l, which will be a distraction.

Also, may of 07 will be your writing competition for journals (more stress).
if you get onto to a journal, you might have to start working summer 07 on it.

I have a friend who got married the summer after 1l & she still tells me what a big mistake it was.

however, some people are able to do it! depends on your personalitiy., so it might be a personal choice.

also, where are you going to law school, what do you want to do (big firm or no?)

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Posted by MrsC2be

He doesnt mind waitng the extra year.

To clarify:
In summer 07 it will be the end of my first year, and in summer 08 it will be the end of my second year. We're not too attached to August, but I'm not sure how it would be to get married in the middle of school, which would be the case if we got married in early 2008. It'd be smack dab in the middle of christmas break....

The only other alternative i can think of, is that we hire a wedding planner, fork over the money and thus the control...how involved would i really have to be if we had someone plan it for us?

I really need some help here, Im not sure whom else to ask for advice

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it would be more beneficial to post on a law students forum. have you tried that?

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Posted by espresso

yea, thats why i think you should switch. 07 will be the summer after 1l, which means you will be doing most your planning 1l, which will be a distraction.

Also, may of 07 will be your writing competition for journals (more stress).
if you get onto to a journal, you might have to start working summer 07 on it.

I have a friend who got married the summer after 1l & she still tells me what a big mistake it was.

however, some people are able to do it! depends on your personalitiy., so it might be a personal choice.

also, where are you going to law school, what do you want to do (big firm or no?)

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I agree with all of this having gone through it...
But, I would do a compromise and get married in spring of 08

I'd say you can have it in 2007. If you want you can book a reception hall with a package deal so a lot of the work is already done for you. I keep hearining great things about Ariana Waterfall and they have some pretty good package deals. Hope this helps you.

hmmm i'm in a similar situation. no matter what you do, they both have up sides and down sides!!

think about it long and hard and talk to fh. make a list of pros and cons if you have to. my similar situation is that my sister and i got engaged at around the same time. my FH and i were planning on it months before her but they make more money than we do so they GOT the ring first. it doesn't make her or me 'wrong' or 'right' but that's just how it happened. my sister is also 10 years older than me so i had the decision to try and do it in 2006 in a month that i didn't like (she is august so it had to be far from her) or to wait (save money, take my time, etc). now i could have done spring 07 which is a lot closer than september but i've ALWAYS dreamed of september so i didn't comprimise the things that were really important to me b/c i figured in the long run i would regret it.

for a long time i was not 'annoyed' at the fact that she got to go first because it's not her fault in any way but i was more sad that i had to wait because it's a very exciting thing. but, looking back on it now and the big day hasn't even come yet so i'm sure i'll feel more and more like this as time goes on: b/c i'm SO happy i waited. it gave me and FH so much time to save money, allowed us to have things we would never be able to have if we did not wait and hopefully the weather will pay off also!!

this way, i get to enjoy my sister's wedding b/c i'm her MOH and then she gets to enjoy mine and it's fair to our family. with you, school and your career-- it's going to be hard to 'enjoy' all that wedding planning demands from you. for me, law school is kinda like my sister's wedding LOL it takes up a lot of my time going places with her, helping her with things, MOH duties, etc. i honestly couldn't imagine if i had to be planning mine right now along with her!! omg!! i mean, i have big vendors done b/c of my sister (she went, i went) but all the little things-- kill me now!

so i'm very happy the way things turned out and i get to enjoy her wedding and i have my e-party this summer--the 'i'm getting married' feeling is great so the longer you can stretch it out, for me, the better it is!!

good luck, i hope that helps you a little. i thought just like you thought-- that i just wanted to be married and be with FH but in the long run-- it worked for us much more this way, everyone is different though-- try the pros and cons!

Hunny, your wedding is over a year from now! There are people who can plan a wedding in less than 6 months. I planned 90% of my wedding in 3 months, you can def. do it! If you take a week and just do the brunt of things you have too much else to worry about. Believe me you can DEF do it!!!
XOXOXO
Kitty

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Posted by BHW

I'd rather get married the summer after the first year than second year so long as you think you can concentrate on your studies during the first year. A lot of firms do not hire 1st year law students for the summer. Most people intern for judges, government agencies, etc., work for professors, or work for small firms/solo practitioners. While many schools have the writing competition during the summer, it tends to be during the first few weeks after classes end. August would be a perfect time to get married. Most summer jobs end in August and if you have an internship, you can probably end it even earlier b/c of the wedding. You'd also have a decent amount of free time to finalize last minute details. The only potential problem might be the interview process. Many schools, especially in NYC, begin their interviews for second summer jobs in July or August. I'd check with your school to find out when that takes place b/c you don't want to miss out on that.

You second summer job is much more important. This is typically the job that will give you a permanent offer of employment. Depending on where you work, the hours may be long. Also, you probably won't have any free time during the day to work on wedding plans.

I also found second year to be busier and more demanding than first year, mainly b/c of the extraordinary amount of work I had to do on Law Review. Journals can be very demanding and take up a lot of time.

Good luck in whatever you decide. If you have any questions about law school, FM me.

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yes, but she wouldnt get a second summer job unless her first year grades are steller
I tihnk thats more of her concern, whether she can keep her grades up 1l while planning a wedding.
I think wedding planning is way easier second year, and then by august she would be done with her summer associate position.

although law review does suck up a lot of time

I say go for 2007. I feel that something will always 'come up' simply because life doesn't slow down (although I wish it would sometimes!)

If you hire a planner, explain your situation to them and tell them that you don't want to lose all control of the wedding planning. Maybe they can do the footwork for you so it is less stressful for you in the end.

Good luck!