I need some help ladies...

So FH and I got on the topic of hunting.. (I do not like hunting) and he does (he doesn't hunt just for fun or sport. when they hunt they do use the meat or would donate it so its not like he just wants to go kill deer)... but anyway.. he has gone hunting since he was younger but hasnt gone in years... I'd prefer that he doesnt go at all but I would never ask him to change things he has always done. Anyway... he was saying how when we get a house he wants to display the head of his first buck and I was like WHAT?!?!?! I said in the nicest way possible that I do not want any animal heads in my home and I don't want a dead animal brought home either. I will not ever eat deer meat but he loves it. So I said if you shoot a deer you can do what u have to do with it away from our house and keep it to yourself.. He was insisting that it is ok to display the head and that there is nothing wrong with doing so and I think its disgusting. We are both entitled to our opinions and we wont see eye to eye or agree on this. I dont want it and he does..To hunt is one thing but why do u need to mount its head for decoration or have it as a trophy? Its not a picture frame its an animal that was once living..

My question is... am I wrong for telling him that I refuse to have animal heads in my home (which would obviously be his home also)??

Im trying to see his point which is that hes always wanted to do this for some reason but I cant even deal with the idea of it.. it makes me want to vomit and I get so upset just thinking about it.

**Just want to add that I by no means at all have any issues toward anyone who hunts or has family or friends who hunt**

My main thing here is how do I get him to understand that I can't deal with an animal head in my home? And am I being unfair?

Its a very hard thing to try to compromise on...Im trying to be a good understanding FW but this topic is way too upsetting for me..

Please give me your advice..

Thanks ladies love you! <3

Sorry so long and please don't quote this.

Honestly, I don't blame you. I don't have a problem with hunting, but I certainly would have a problem hanging a deer head in my home. My only thought of a compromise would be that if he had an office, or a 'man room' maybe he could hang it there, but 'The Head' won't see daylight anywhere else in the house???

Sorry hun, not very good help.

No you are not wrong. This is something that you feel very strongly about. You are compromising in the way that even though you hate the thought of him going out and killing an animal you would never stop him from doing it because the sport is something he enjoys.

You need to show him that you showed him respect in not standing in the way of doing something he enjoyes even though you dislike it, he needs to respect your feelings of not being able to look at a dead animal in your home.

This isn't about a shade of wall color. This is a deeply personal choice. It seems like a slap in the face to your compromise. You aren't asking him to change his beliefs but he is asking you to change yours.

I feel your pain love, I really do. If FH wanted to do that, I would be horrified. I do agree that perhaps the best compromise is to let him hang it in a 'man room' in the basement, or maybe the garage. Someplace you won't really visit all that often. I wish I could be more help....but this is a tough one!

awww

i honestly think you are being very understanding with the whole situation...its not like you told him that he can't hunt anymore. To me personally, I don't know if I'd care if FH wanted to hang an animal head in our house (as long as it wasn't in the main area of the house lol), but he doesn't hunt so its never something i've thought about .... but since you feel very strongly against it, i think a good compromise would be that he's allowed to hunt, but just cant bring it in your home...does he know why you dont feel comfortable with that?

I am so sorry Dc u are going thru this....
This is a hard one bc this is something He likes to do.. but this is something U are against it...

Have u tried to talk to him and tell him How you feel?
What if U allow to have him a Deer Head in the basemant? or anywhere where u cannot see it asmuch (as opposed to the living room/bedroom)?
I know I am givin u an option that U dont want, but i think sometimes WE have to compromise in Life...

Maybe try to explain to him, U DONT MIND/CARE if he is HUNTING.. as long as The Head of ANY Deer/animal is NOT in Ur house.....

What if you put it in these terms:

FH, you would view the head as a trophy of your sport. I see it as a LIFE. A life that was cut short. A life that was beautiful. A life that I had no ability to save. I would have nothing but pain every time I saw it's eyes. It would be as if you asked me to hang my pet on the wall. It was a living breathing thing that you took from the world. I can maybe accept you doing it, if I don't have to look at it.

Harsh. But may work.

I completely understand!!

FH hunts too, and I also REFUSE to have animal heads around my home. However, a reasonable compromise was to have only the antlers mounted and FH is allowed to keep them in his office.

I HTH!

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Posted by allinik

I completely understand!!

FH hunts too, and I also REFUSE to have animal heads around my home. However, a reasonable compromise was to have only the antlers mounted and FH is allowed to keep them in his office.

I HTH!

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This is good advice...

I am sorry you are going through this.. I don't have any new advice that the ladies haven't already said..

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Posted by MissingLI

What if you put it in these terms:

FH, you would view the head as a trophy of your sport. I see it as a LIFE. A life that was cut short. A life that was beautiful. A life that I had no ability to save. I would have nothing but pain every time I saw it's eyes. It would be as if you asked me to hang my pet on the wall. It was a living breathing thing that you took from the world. I can maybe accept you doing it, if I don't have to look at it.

Harsh. But may work.

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this is perfect. I couldn't ever let my FH do that. Man cave, whatever I think I'd lose respect for my FH if he had a NEED for carving off the head of an animal. It's barbaric. We dont NEED to hunt. I'm sorry. We have supermarkets. Yes, I know, slaughterhouses etc...but there is a distinct difference when someone gets JOY out of killing a living creature. Ending a life for sport takes a coldness, a lack of respect for life.

Hunting bc you can't afford to eat is different. I know very few people who are at that point and do that.

In the end, I just think it's hurtful to disregard your feelings so completely. I don't think he gets it but I think he will eventually.

No, I don't see anything wrong with it at ALL. Yuck!

Especially if you are strongly anti-hunting, I think him hanging animal heads in your home would be rubbing your face in it.

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Posted by legalchef

No, I don't see anything wrong with it at ALL. Yuck!

Especially if you are strongly anti-hunting, I think him hanging animal heads in your home would be rubbing your face in it.

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ITA

awwww mich!!!!! i dont think you are being unreasonable one bit!!!!

this is easy...

tell him if he even THINKS about hanging the head of an animal on the wall as a trophy, you will hang what's in his pants on the wall as your trophy from winning this argument!!!!

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Posted by leighlo1226

awwww mich!!!!! i dont think you are being unreasonable one bit!!!!

this is easy...

tell him if he even THINKS about hanging the head of an animal on the wall as a trophy, you will hang what's in his pants on the wall as your trophy from winning this argument!!!!

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lmao!!!! I love you!!

I just want to thank you all so much!!! you all have really helped me and I appreciate your advice and opinions and knowing that Im not being a total B*tch by saying no..

I LOVE YOU LADIES!!!!!! <3

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Posted by MissingLI

What if you put it in these terms:

FH, you would view the head as a trophy of your sport. I see it as a LIFE. A life that was cut short. A life that was beautiful. A life that I had no ability to save. I would have nothing but pain every time I saw it's eyes. It would be as if you asked me to hang my pet on the wall. It was a living breathing thing that you took from the world. I can maybe accept you doing it, if I don't have to look at it.

Harsh. But may work.

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This is just perfect!!! <3 and its really exactly how I feel!

Yea hunting doesn't really bother me, but I do not think I would like a deer head hanigng in my living room!

Like others said, a good compromise would be to put the head maybe in the garage or den or basement or something, so he can have it displayed for his friends but you don't have to have it represent you.

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Posted by allinik

I completely understand!!

FH hunts too, and I also REFUSE to have animal heads around my home. However, a reasonable compromise was to have only the antlers mounted and FH is allowed to keep them in his office.

I HTH!

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ITA with this