I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
Marchbride07
Posted:
Member since
I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
So yesterday I am sitting on the computer as FH is getting ready to go out. (His closet is in the computer room, he was nice enough to give me the walk in closet!) and he keeps taking shirt upon shirt out and they are all wrinkled. He makes a face and comments as so: 'My shirts are all wrinkled.' So I ask him: 'Do you need me to iron something?' His answer: 'No.' ok so case closed right? NO. About two minutes later he says: 'I think I am going to bring my shirts to my mother's house and she will iron them for me.'
I totally lost it! I mean, really lost it! I thought that was sooo inappropriate! I told him I just offered to iron for you! Maybe your mother ironed without you asking but I am still trying to learn how to live with someone and take care of them! He flipped saying I am disrespecting his mother and if he wants her to iron his shirts then I should let him.
I mean am I wrong to get p issed that he says he doesn't need anything ironed and then says he wants his mother to iron his shirts? I think she will think I am not taking care of 'her baby' as she always calls him...
Thanks, I just needed to vent.
Licee15
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
Maybe he is still trying to get use to it too.....Don't get upset...Maybe you just need to laugh and Say to him 'Well now that is why I am here...so you don't have to leave to get your clothes ironed.' Make a joke of it....
Hang in there....
Snickers76
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
Men need to learn tha at a certain point,they can no longer run to their mommies for every last damn thing that they need done. I don't think you're crazy.
NowAndForever2012
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
My response to his comment about maybe I should take them to my mothers would have been. Do you need a ride? Does she do pants?
Dee606
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
Posted by BRIDE2K7
My response to his comment about maybe I should take them to my mothers would have been. Do you need a ride? Does she do pants?
lol- good one.
No, you are not overreacting. He should have known better than to say that to you. He needs to realize he can no longer be dependant on his mother for things like ironing his shirt. You did ask him and maybe he thought you should have just known to iron it without being asked & he said that to be a little hurtful- i'm just guessing.
Danacm80
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
i would tell him to iron it himself lol Guys need to learn to be domestic too
ziamaria
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
wow...ur not overreacting. i'd be upset too but then again, if shes willing to do the work and i reap the rewards, y not --this said from a woman whose mother in law is more than 1000 miles away.
he needs to be domesticated - and the bright side, at least he didnt EXPECT you to stop what u were doing to iron his shirt. it'll get better....the first few months of living together are always the hardest.
HamptonsBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
awww...it sounds like something you'd see on Everybody Loves Raymond...his mother is always still doing stuff for him...i think sometimes men don't realize that if they just ASK us to do something we will...it's like they are afraid to say 'honey, can you do this for me?'...where if they make a statement 'wow, my shirts are wrinkled' something will magically happen without them feeling guilty for asking..i think it is pretty bad that he'd take his stuff to his Mom's instead of letting you do it...but i remember when FH & i first moved in together...it wasn't all fun & romance..i actually s ucked the first 2 months...haha..trying to learn each other's habits and accepting the things that drive you nuts...hang in there...it does get better!! And maybe just iron the shirts and put them back in the closet as a suprise for him
faithandkevin
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
You are not crazy. I would be livid. If he told you 'no' then runs to his mom to do it- that's ridiculous!
Lools
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
ARGH!!! That makes me mad for you! ***?? That was very passive aggressive of him to begin with! I kind of know how you feel because I feel my FH has been babied by his mom since he's an only child, she does his laundry, cooks for him, packs his lunch sometimes, and sometimes I get frustrated that I'm not gonna be able to keep up with her. Like it's a competition or something. I don't think he expects me to do everything like she did, but I can't help but be afraid that feeling may surface down the road. You have every right to be angry!!!
laural2979
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
Honestly, I wouldn't have offered to iron them at all. He's a big boy, he shouldn't have to run to you or to his mother. Why doesn't he know how to iron them himself??
portjeffbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
heheheheh, sounds like FH's and my ironing stand-off...
we have very few items that need pressing... and both of us HATE doing it. He has this shirt I washed in 2004, that has been waiting to be pressed since then
neither of us are doing it. Frankly, I've almost completely eliminated items from my wardrobe that wrinkle.... so I've been fine the last 3 years... It's like a 'no blinking' competition, but with a MUCH longer timeframe....
seriously, that boy (your FH) has to grow up. He cannot take advantage of his mom becuase he's too lazy to learn how to iron. He also cannot pit you against his mom just to guilt you into doing his ironing. give me a break. Don't fall for it, and get angry... just ask him if he wants his mom to cut up his meat at dinnertime too...
what a !!!!
iamvocal72
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
It's all good. You are not crazy or over reacting. He needs to get used to you living there and being around to help him with things his mom used to do.
When you calm down you can explain to him how hurtful his comment was and that IF he would like you to iron things, all he needs to do is ask. Is he particular about the way he likes things done? Ask him how is mother irons or call her and ask how she does it. She might really appreciate the gesture that you want to know how to take care of 'her baby' Make sure you get him some of these in the meantime
MEN!
diva7531
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
Posted by HamptonsBride
awww...it sounds like something you'd see on Everybody Loves Raymond...his mother is always still doing stuff for him...i think sometimes men don't realize that if they just ASK us to do something we will...it's like they are afraid to say 'honey, can you do this for me?'...where if they make a statement 'wow, my shirts are wrinkled' something will magically happen without them feeling guilty for asking..i think it is pretty bad that he'd take his stuff to his Mom's instead of letting you do it...but i remember when FH & i first moved in together...it wasn't all fun & romance..i actually s ucked the first 2 months...haha..trying to learn each other's habits and accepting the things that drive you nuts...hang in there...it does get better!! And maybe just iron the shirts and put them back in the closet as a suprise for him
I agree
Jennifer907
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
That would completely tick me off too. I'm a sarcastic b*tch though so I would have told him to have her dress him too! I hate when men run to their mommies! It's like, hello, I'm here now, not her. I can do it!! I feel for ya chica!
portjeffbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
I guess my major gripe would be that it shouldn't be presumed that I'm responsible for all household ironing since I work as much as he does..... it's not like I work part-time, and he has a 60 hour work week.....
However, my FH never presumes stuff like that. Things are split 50:50...so I've never had a show-down...
mskittynj
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
aww hunny, It takes a LOONNGG time for 2 people to learn how to live together! This is all new to both of you. I know how annoying it is for your other half to run to his 'mommy' for things but try to understand it must be hard for him to have this new situation... Don't take it to heart. If he wants her to do it, oh well,less work for you! lol If his mother says something to you, just tell her you offered to do it but he wants her to do it.... XOXOXO Kitty
Pencils
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
Let him iron his own damn shirts! You're not his mommy, nor should an adult man who is going to be married in a month need his mommy to iron his shirts. If he can't do it, then he should take then to the cleaners and get them in a box.
That aside--yes, if he needed his shirts ironed and you want to do that for him, that's fine. He shouldn't get all passive-agressive about it. So freakin' childish!
Every couple divides up labor in a different way. When I do the laundry--we take turns--I had to learn how my FH likes his shirts folded. OTOH, he had to learn which of my clothes don't go in the dryer and how to hang them. It's a two way street. But if you're going to be married, there's all that stuff about leaving your parents and cleaving to your wife--that includes having your mommy iron your shirts.
You need to put your foot down now, or you're going to be stuck with this stuff for your whole marriage.
ellebelle1
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
Yea, he needs to do it himself. That stuff really annoys me. He's not a child, he's a grown man.
Posted by Pencils
Let him iron his own damn shirts! You're not his mommy, nor should an adult man who is going to be married in a month need his mommy to iron his shirts. If he can't do it, then he should take then to the cleaners and get them in a box.
That aside--yes, if he needed his shirts ironed and you want to do that for him, that's fine. He shouldn't get all passive-agressive about it. So freakin' childish!
Every couple divides up labor in a different way. When I do the laundry--we take turns--I had to learn how my FH likes his shirts folded. OTOH, he had to learn which of my clothes don't go in the dryer and how to hang them. It's a two way street. But if you're going to be married, there's all that stuff about leaving your parents and cleaving to your wife--that includes having your mommy iron your shirts.
You need to put your foot down now, or you're going to be stuck with this stuff for your whole marriage.
billandme
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to know I am not crazy..kind of long but need honest opinions
Your not crazy at all.....I would have been upset if FH said that to me too! But, as some of the other girls have mentioned.......maybe he's trying to get used to living with someone to It's a learning curve, that's forsure ......... both of you are used to certain things. Try not to be mad at him. I'm sure he never meant to hurt you by saying what he said.......
