I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

jenny2penny Posted: Jul 30, 2003 09:19 AM

I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

do you or don't you have to have one.

My FH said you have to have an e-party if you are having a wedding. I said are you crazy, no you don't. I think in his family it's customary. And he sees it a one of the few times the family gets together. (sadly, not everyone is coming though)

Sassyz75 Posted: Jul 30, 2003 09:24 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

We had one- but there is no rule about whether to have one or not. We had one because I have a very large family and we RARELY are all together. It was really just a nice excuse to get together.

With that said- we had a very informal party in my Mom's backyard. It was a catered BBQ and we had a tent. No favors, no centerpieces. Just good food, good booze and good people. No one was required or asked to bring a gift- I didn't tell anyone where my registry was (although somehow everyone managed to find out where they were).

tracyg Posted: Jul 30, 2003 09:24 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

no, you don't HAVE to have one.
We're not having one unless someone throws us one. We can't afford to throw a party. We're paying for over half the wedding, and thats enough for me! Plus all FH's friends don't live here, and we don't have much family here... so its hard to get everyone together.

tracyg Posted: Jul 30, 2003 09:26 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

if we were to have one it would be like sassys! (i don't understand why people have epartys almost as big as their wedding... ie having at reception hall etc) Waste of money (unless you have it of course)

tootsie Posted: Jul 30, 2003 09:30 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

Hello. In my opinion, you don't have to have one. Most parents want to have one cause it's tradition but we told our families no. This is how we feel but we don't think it's wrong or right either way: People spend money on your shower, some people will probably still give you an engagement gift anyway (we got some), people spend money on your wedding and for the people in your wedding party, they spend a ton already so I feel it's not necessary cause people spend so much as it is. If you do have one, have fun and enjoy!!

eroxgirl Posted: Jul 30, 2003 09:31 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

You do not HAVE to have an e-party. We didn't and we're not going to. Many of my friends have had them, some of them haven't and they range from really formal (in a hall, dj, everyone in a gown) to little more than a house party w/ guests of honor. Its personal preference.

dawnie Posted: Jul 30, 2003 09:33 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

You don't have to have one. I have only been to 2 in my life. One was a BBQ Hawaii themed party and the other was a small one in a restaurant. We didn't have one. We didn't have the money because we needed it for for the wedding. If you want one that's great if you don't have one it is not wrong either. JMO. Do what will make you happy!

SeptemberBride03 Posted: Jul 30, 2003 09:35 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

We didn't have one. I wanted one at first, but my FH's family felt that it was asking a lot of our guests b/c you know they'll bring gifts and with the shower and the wedding it ends up being a lot.

And out of all the weddings we've been going to the past few years (12 this year alone!) only one of the couples had an eparty.

kelly6273 Posted: Jul 30, 2003 09:36 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

You don't have to have one.

The night we got engaged all of our friends and family came running over to my FH's house...all excited for us. A few days later, someone asked me if we were going to have an e-party. I thought we already did...the night we got engaged. Everyone we loved was there to celebrate with us.

daisybride Posted: Jul 30, 2003 10:07 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

You don't have to have one, but we did. I think it depends on the families. In some families they are a lot more common then others. Hey, jenny your FH is coming home this weekend isn't he? Yay! Any big plans? The e-party is coming up soon too isn't it? What an exciting time for you. I'm sure you can't wait for him to come home!

nylisa Posted: Jul 30, 2003 10:33 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

You don't have to have one. Michael and I decided that we did not want to have one. What my parents were going to spend on an e-party they decided to give us to put towards the wedding.

What-Now Posted: Jul 30, 2003 10:47 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

we didn't have one! we felt uncomfortable creating another reason for having people give us gifts. same here, we put the money towards the wedding.

firegal Posted: Jul 30, 2003 10:48 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

We had one but there is no set etiquette about it - I think it's all about personal preferance.

Janine24 Posted: Jul 30, 2003 10:53 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

I was thinking of having an e-party but then decided against it. It is a lot to ask from your guests with gifts and all and its more that you have to plan. My fiance and I are just getting our immediate families together and going out to a nice restaurant for dinner...

jenny2penny Posted: Jul 30, 2003 10:53 AM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

Thanks for asking yes, TOMORROW AT 10am I LEAVE FOR VA!!!!! He graduates Friday. I am so exciting to see him and he comes home for good!!!!!

We are going to VA Beach friday - Saturday, then come home, and let him get settles, hang out, catch up. I am off starting tomorrow at 10am - next thursday

oh, and yes our e-party is sept 20th (coming up fast)
FYI we are not doing anything super fancy. At a local lodge, about 70 - 80 people. Food, drinks, DJ, fun!!!

Sandy&Ben Posted: Jul 30, 2003 12:12 PM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

we didn't have one. my FH thought it was tacky - just another excuse for gifts. but i know that lately, it seems to be the norm.

prncssrachel Posted: Jul 30, 2003 12:25 PM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

I originally had wanted one, but my mother and sister pointed out that it is like a begging for gifts, although I don't really think that, I can see where peopel in our family would. So my parents had a brunch for my family (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) and JT's immediate family (no one in their family likes them, so we didn't have to invite anyone else! ). We had about 25 people in all and I thought it was just right. I started to want an eparty, a real one, again a few months ago, but said forget it.

wacky Posted: Jul 30, 2003 12:32 PM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

You dont have to do anything your little heart doesnt want to do.

I personally dont believe in them but thats me and they are only really worth it if someone else is footing the bill.

JMO

Snowboardgirl Posted: Jul 30, 2003 12:34 PM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

We didn't have one. I don't think friends and family expect you to have one.

Pickle Posted: Jul 30, 2003 12:40 PM

Re: I need to settle a discussion (e-parties)

We weren't going to have one, but now I think we will. Just because FH is pretty bad about keeping in touch with his family and they are v. excited about the wedding, and I didn't want them to feel excluded at all the festivities, etc.. He loves them, but he's just correspondantly challenged. ok, i think i made up a word there, but you get my point :)

So I suggested dinner at a rest. they are familiar with and some of my family can meet more of his family, etc. before the wedding. we'll see.

But originally i thought it wasn't really necessary in the grand scheme of things. a backyard BBQ would be a great idea, should you do it tho.