OK, maybe its me, but I am really pissed off at the following matter. I have been engaged for a year and a few months and we planned our weding for Sept. My cousin who I will have you know is in my bridal party got engaged for Christmas and now decides she is getting married in August before us. She is a teacher and claims that is the only time she can get married! Give me a break. Teachers get plenty of vacation time during the year and she works summers at school anyway. My parents are pissed at me bc they said I have kept everything a secret about my wedding (place, date, band) and now she is even booking my same band and everyone in our family will think I copied her. My dad said I can't be mad about the date since you can't tell people when to get married, but I think its rude that she couldn't wait till after we got married. My FI sister was engaged last July and waited for us to pick our date out of respect. I am so miserable bc it took me so long to research my band and now she will have it first. Thank God she is not having it in the same place.
The real reason I am mad though is bc this is the person who told me.. why are you spending so much money on a wedding? I would buy a house and get married in there....
I will have you know she is now getting married at St. Patrick's Cathedral, having her reception in at a CC in NJ and paying for an $8000 band. What bull**** is taht from a person who told me to get married in an empty house?
NYCHICK
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
That is more of the crazy gene. I had a cousin do the same thing to me, and she is having the audacity to come BAck to nyc to get married 'around the same time as me'. She had the nerve to actually make my wedding part of her planning and actually tell me. I have another friedn who also has the overwhelming need to get married in 'late August. WTF is wrong with people. We are all gonna have to pull a Julia Roberts and get married as a surprise to everyone else. Poeple just get silly. I share your pain and you have the righ to be pissed
jenny2penny
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
That is really SH!TTY!
they say Duplication is the highest sign of a complement. I know it does not help any and you feel your family will think you did your's after hers, but most should know that there is no way you could plan in 1-month after seeing her's.
I would definetly talk up what you have booked, that you know she copied,,,if a family member asks how the planning is going.
THE REST KEEP A SECRET FROM HER!
did you say to her, 'what happened to having a house after wedding?'
it always seems my FH family takes my ideas: FSIL was going to do butterfly release, but was to cold for march (knowing if I got married I wanted it)
other FSIL named her little girls middle name 'rose' I got a tatoo of roses, knowing when I have a girl, will name her rose.
We learned to keep everything to ourselves!!!!!
sweetnessconfused
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
Well that is what I did, kept everything a secret and now I am screwed! But how do you tell me ppl what band your having? Ppl only ask what place and date. The only good thing is taht I had the a clue at my e-party that most ppl picked up on about the place, but I still think she is trying to totally outdo me!
PrincessRose
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
to you!!!!!
If she is really a good enough friend to have in your BP, she should be reasonable enough to sit down with you and discuss this like adults.
However, NYCHICK is right - It's more of the Crazy Gene.
sweetnessconfused
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She is my COUSIN!
Moehick
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I would be po'd too! How could your cousin do that to you? I can't believe she would use the same band...that is just wrong!
PrincessRose
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
No, I realize she's your cousin, but shouldn't she be your FRIEND too?
sweetnessconfused
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The unfortunate thing is that I had never told her what band I picked however my aunt had seen them at a wedding and I had a feeling. So when my band gy called to tell us we needed to send in the next payment I asked him and he said she booked him! That is why my parents are po at me bc I never told them who I was using.
I called my aunt last night and told her but I don't know if she ever told my cousin. She saidd she was in the shower and couldn't speak to me.
gaby25
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
I WOULD BE MAD TOO!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT NOW YOU KNOW THAT THE ONLY REASON SHE WAS TELLING YOU THAT HAVING A BIG WEDDING WAS A WASTE OF MONEY WAS BECAUSE SHE WAS INSANELY JEALOUS THAT YOU WERE THE ONE HAVING THIS WEDDING AND THAT YOU GOT A RING ON YOUR FINGER FIRST.
NYCHICK
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
Jealousy seems to manifest itself with everybody wanting to get married all at once.....very strange.
sweetnessconfused
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How true that is!
butterfly20
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i would be pissed...
is it possible to pick a differnet band that will be as good or better?
Mrs.B
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
happens all the time... but do not worry your wedding will be a blast.... actually her wedding can be a test drive... look at all the details so where she makes a mistake you can avoid the same...do not spoil your mood...
Maribelle7777
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
Before you get more upset (I would be a bit upset at first too mind you!) ask her why she decided to get married at St. Pat's and have such a 'big' wedding when she suggested to you to have a small wedding in a house?
And ask her why is she having it before yours?
But people have different goals. Maybe her fiance wanted to get married soon for whatever reason. I know it sucks and I'd be upset but if it's booked there's nothing you can do about it.
And about the band, since you kept it all to yourself, you can't really be mad at her that she booked the same band. If anyone says 'oh you liked them at your cousins' wedding so you booked them too' say 'actually no I booked them first, it was only by coincidence that she booked them too. I guess we both have great taste!'. No reason to show others you're upset about it.
Your wedding will be wonderful and don't let her planning get you down!
JimmysBride
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
Ugh. How annoying!!! This really sucks!!!
I'm sorry I have no advice for you but I would be upset too... I'm upset FOR YOU!!!
tyler
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
I think you still have some humor left in this. 'get married in an empty house' Your so funny. I think you should take this anger and turn it around. She picked a date for what ever her and her fiance's reasons. You have a place, a time, and a theme for your wedding. Continue with this dream of your wedding day. If she has the band first, and it is awesome, your guest will not say you copied her, they will say, 'oh my god, I can not wait for your wedding, I am going to dance all night long'. They will look foward to it. You should tell your cousin that she has great taste because you already booked it some time ago. Don't let her spoil your planning. When you see your fiance' today, take a moment and look at him.... picture him waiting for you at the end of that aisle, you are in your gorgeous dress looking stunning and he is starring at YOU, at that moment....do you even care for a split second when what'sherface's wedding was?????? In the end, it is always about you and your fiance'.
mrswask
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
I understand that you are upset about the band and the date - but I can understand about the date. Yes - it's true that teachers have a lot of vacation time - but it's usually in one week slots. Many brides do not want the stress of stopping work on a thursday or friday - getting married that weekend, flying off to a honeymoon and being back at work the next Monday after a week off - depressing thought. Also - all of the teachers who i know who got married last year during Feb break week all had to change honeymoon plans b/c of the huge snowstorm. I know that if I was first getting engaged now - I'd rather rush and have my wedding this coming summer than wait a whole year and a half. JMO!
What I would do though - if you haven't already - is send out STD's ASAP - so people received info about your wedding date first!
groovypeg
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
Posted by sweetnessconfused
She is a teacher and claims that is the only time she can get married! Give me a break. Teachers get plenty of vacation time during the year and she works summers at school anyway.
I understand that your upset about this, but I think it is very unfair of you to make a generalized statement like the one above. Us teachers do get alot of vacation time, but we are the most underappreciated and sometimes underpaid; those vacations are much needed. I just went thru this with my boss, who wanted me to get married in June and I told her only if she paid for it! Maybe its cheaper for her to get married then. As far as the band thing goes, my best friend booked my band for her wedding, which is before mine. And I am okay with it! Who cares what people think?! .As long as your guests have a good time, dance and be merry! I am sure you will have a beautiful affair and be a beautiful bride!
AUG21-04
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Re: I NEED TO VENT!!!!!
I hear ya girl. I have a 'friend' that who swore up and down that she would never marry her boyfriend and as soon as FH and I picked our date 8-21 she chose 7-17 how practical. Everything that I choose she has a nasty comment I stopped calling her because of that. She kept everything a secret as if someone wanted to copy from her. Jealousy is a very BAD thing.
