I need your help ladies!!

I have been totally stressing about the whole wedding and engagement party. Well more the eparty well long story short were having it at FFIL's with him and his step mom. We havent always seen eye to eye. When we first started talking about having it there I thought it was clear that I wanted a small little bbq party of like 50 ppl. Well we made the list and its up to 97 already and thats not including everyone. I have 30 ppl including all my family and all our friends were gunna invite the rest is FH's family. And since its so big his step mom has been talking about all these things I dont want but dont know what to say bc its at her house and they said they were going to pay for it. Money is really tight but I want to be able to enjoy my party. I decided to have all our parents over for dinner so we can talk about the party and figure things out. Im so nervious because it will be the first time all the parents are going to be together we always split up FH's parents. I need advise on what to say to get this party back to just a small get together and not another wedding party. FH's stepmom is very defensive and has a way of making you feel like crap. any help will be great!! TIA
Vent over!

Oh man. Well, honestly, just sit down with them and tell them you appreciate everything they are doing, but it is not what you want. Tell them everything you told us, you want to keep it small.

Honestly, and this is JMO, I think engagement parties should be kept small. I feel its a waste of everyone's money to make it a big to do when that money could be used for the wedding. Maybe tell them you would rather put some of the money toward the wedding, if you could have a smaller engagement party

Hope this helps

Tell her its your party and you'll cry if you want!! JK

Sit down and tell them while you are so excited with there help there were a few things you wanted to scale down. And let them know eachthing.Kind of have a notebook with what you wanted so you don't lose your focus points!