I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

I have a little dilemma this hanukkah/christmas. I've always had a job since I was 16, so i've always had at least some of my own money and my own credit cards. For the past several months i've been completely unable to work, i've even had to take the semester off (my last semester, probably) from school, and I don't know when I'm going bacl b/c I'm partially disabled from a car accident that actually happenned a long time ago, but the condition's been getting worse and worse. So Fh has been paying ALL of my bills for me, he put me on his health insurance, he pays my phone, cell phone, college loans, credit cards, everything..and he has his own debt too. We'd planned on both working of course, but he's paying for everyhting, the furniture in the apartment, groceries, etc, even lets me buy some random BS here and there. Now it's christmas and I don't have a cent to buy him a gift. I have credit cards of course, but he pays the bills. I really feel so bad. I really want to find jobe where I can work from home, but that seems too good to be true. Right now it's the holiday season and I want to get Fh a gift. I've never had problems buying gifts before. I'd save $$ for his gift, and I'd pay for gift for my family., he'd pay for gifts for his..now he's paying for all the gifts we're giving as a couple and even if I buy him something on one of my credit cards, he's not only getting the gift, but the bill. I'd like to buy him something nice, but with all the bills he has, and deposits on the wedding coming due, I can't leave him with a bill, so I need something I can do for him that's inexpensive, to give hima gift for the holidays, but also show him how much it means to me that he takes care of me. It isn't just financial. He got his own apartment, rather than staying with his aprents, partially so that I'd have a place to go for peace and wuiet. there are days when I can't walk, and when he comes home from 12 hour days at work or finally ha s aweekend to rest he's driving me to the doctor or for things I need to get (I can only drive one very good days and only short distances), or he's waiting on me basically hand and foot because I can barely get out of bed some days. I really wish I coul get him someting so pecial this year. If I had the money I'd get him a cashmere coat or a special ring (i never got him an engagement gift)..but I can't buy him something to expensive and give him the bill. Please help me out. I want to show him how special he is to me, and I want to feel like I can still do something for him, even though I can do very little else. Thanks in advance!

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

I've been with FH forever, and trust me, we both hit those hard times while away at school (different ones!).

I decided to have a breast reduction, and had a pretty rocky recovery, and my man was there every minute, even carried me to the toilet when the morphine started to kill my empty stomach. sorry if TMI, but this man even thought to stick a pillow between my swollen chest and the toilet, so while I was retching my brains out, it didn't hurt too badly.

I wasn't able to work and all money I had saved went to tuition, so I took advantage of all my time in bed and made FH the most amazing 'book of us'. I went to Michael's and bought a blank album/memory book and because I'm a packrat, I had EVERYTHING! every movie ticket, cocktail napkins, matchbooks, every card, and I used several pages just thanking him every way i knew how, for being a sweet, gentle, caring, amazing guy. I was so upset that I couldn't get him a 'real' gift, but now I know better...
The 'stuff' I gave him the year before was exciting for a few months, but he keeps this silly book on his night table, flips through it at least once a week, and occaisionally adds something to it. Here we are, years later, and no joke, I was at his place tonight and caught him reading it when I came out of the bathroom! He even shows some of it to his family/friends, and I still get 'thank you! I can't believe you took the time to do all this for me!'
Trust me, he knows you, he loves you, and he knows what you would love to do if you had the funds. I bet if he read your post, he would say that he doesn't want anything, you're enough for him. That's why we marry them...

edited for my horrendous sp.

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

thanks shorty...that story brings tears to my eyes. I've been wanting to make a scrabook of us for a long long time now..maybe I should just start it. i have the time now! Thanks. and you're right..FH keeps saying all he wants is me, and many many kisses! And he even said that when i HAD money. The thing is he always spends so much money on gifts for me. and I mean a lot..2 xmases ago it was a gamecube and atrip to disney (my lifelong dream come true) last year it was annual passes to disney and he took me twice this past year and proposed there! he got me an iPod for my birthday, and he is by no means rich, he'd just do anything for me. I wish he really knew how much I appreciate him. Thanks so much for responding. i think the book is a great idea. I have a lot of stuff saved. For the first few years I saved everything, some of it has gotten lost along the way, but I do have enough to at least start the book! thanks so much.

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

I guarantee he will say its the best present he ever got, and he'll really mean it! I got tears reading your story too- I guess when you've been there, it just really hits home when other people are going through the same thing. Get that book going!

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

Jennifer (Jen?) - It seems like we both have the same 'its 2am and i'm not asleep' problem too, eh? hehe

Nikki

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

ooooo best thing i ever ever did - FM

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

I learned how to knit, and knit my DH a huge blanket! It was a ton of work, but he knew all the work I had put into it and loved it. It might be a little late for this year (it did take me a while, but I was doing it around work and grad school). Yarn is not expensive at all. Good luck!

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

You could do a whole day dedicated to taking care of him. It wouldn't cost much, if anything at all, it would show your appreciation for all he does for you and make him feel very special. You could:

-- Make him a huge several course dinner with the works, wine, candles, desserts, etc.

-- Run a luxurious bath for him with soothing music and candles

-- give him a full massage (if you can) with oils and aromatherapy candles

-- rent a movie he's been dying to see or watch his favorite movie with him


Good luck and hope you get better soon!

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

jen i think making a whole day for him would b perfect. set up a candlelit picnic in the living room, with all his fave foods (even if u order take-out food--sweet treats, wine, his favortie movies, and maybe write him card of how much u love him and all he means to you

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

I think the 'day for him' suggestion is PERFECT. I'm sure he will really appreciate it!!

Good luck and hope you get better soon!!

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

Aw Jenn... your post was so sweet and it was just breaking my heart

So I just wanted to give you lots of these

Shorty (Nikki) and all the other girls gave you great suggestions... and as everyone else said, what matters MOST is that you and FH are together and I'm sure he is just thankful to have someone incredible such as yourself in his life!

Good luck and we're always here to help

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

jmo...as a guy..i dont need anything if i knew we were finicially tapped. we pay everythhing together since we moved in 6 years ago. money, gifts isnt everything. its nices but i can live without. just having fw around and smilieing looking towards our future is what i need. we ourselves are not doing xmas since our wedding is 3 mths... we are still looking for money for that. spend a day with him, don't think he is taking all the credit. a true relationship has a balance and right now, you are doign less and he is doing more. if he didn't want to, he wouldn't of paid this or that for you. that is love and dedication though good times and the bad. i remember the days when we didn't even have a car or used car kept on breaking down. she wasn't used to this cause mom/daddy took care of her. fw struggle to understand it's different taking care of ourselves.. she adapted and thrived under the pressures of life. this is 1 reason why i'm marrying her because she did everything she had to do to survive. its a great feeling know that people want to take care of you.

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

Awwh..such a great story and a wonderful suggestion. You guys really do know what the spirit is all about. Anyone can give an electrical gadget or trinkets, whatever but the gifts you are all talking about are gifts from the heart

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

I think the ladies gave you some wonderful ideas that will mean more than anything you could spend a lot of money on. I don't have any better ideas, but just wanted to send you some .

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

Jennifer, I think the special day for your FH is a great idea. I give you a lot of credit. You seem to be very positive in a situation like this. I hope things get better for you and you are able to get a job soon.

Re: I need your help ladies and gents, for my FH

Thanksso much for all of your ideas and support. it really means a lot to me. I'm going to work on definitely writing him a nice card, and thinking of things I can do for him that don't cost money in a special day. maybe a coupon book....a gift i think he'd appreciat e would be me watching his stupid lord of the ring extended verison with him

One night this week I'm going to try to make him fresh latkes for hanukkah, and for christmas I can bake him some cookies..so hopefully here and there it'll add up. I'll start the scrabook now, and that's a good plan for valentine's day
Thanks so much!