i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
the future mrs m
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i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
Fh & I are giving my mom a trip to vegas for her 65th birthday and for giving us the wedding. his parents arent and havent yet given a dime. I want to acknowledge my mom publically w/ a big thank you at the wedding & her plane ticket. do you think this is inappropriate? i bought fh's parents little stuff, too. but like hankies that i would give them before. I love his parents but they haven't even asked what they could do. they just gasp everytime they hear a price related to the wedding. what do you think?
madseason
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
Honestly... I would not do something big for your mom and not do anything public thank you for his parents.....IMO its just not polite....
I know alot of things are about money....but before you think your mother, i think it woul dbe nice to thank his parents...even if its for having their son and supporting their relationship - and maybe say (if u feel) u look forward in the years to come...something short and sweet...maybe they cant afford to give to the wedding and are embarassed...maybe they thinks its old school and brides fam shd pay...there could be alot of reasons...but whether you get a thank you isnt about $, u kno? Im sure youre not only thanking ur mom bc she paid to it, but bc shes ur mom and u love and respect her and she helped, etc...theres a lot of reasons!
Then go into your moms thankyou....ppl wont notice bc youre her daughter and ofcouse shes gone far and beyond and it is her bday gift too...
I just would say something and thank his parents too....bc its not about money, but respect...thats JMO
jennandrolo
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
i wouldnt do that at the reception...it would make FILs uncomfortable. i would give it to her privately before or after the wedding. if you want to thank your mother at the reception i would thank both sets of parents for their love and support but not mention money.
mRm2008
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
As much as your situation with them isn't right .......that they aren't contributing as they probably should....I feel that would be inapropriate. I think your Mom totally deserves that as thanks, but doing so in that manner is not going to be the time or the place to express your grattitude.
the future mrs m
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
I think i would acknowledge both sets of parents and we will thank them for raising us and making us the ppl we are today and for all of their support.
i just feel like my mom has been through so much w/ my dad passing last yr and she still managed to make a dream wedding a reality.
i dont ,mean that as a slap to his parents b/c i love them too but even he feels like they could have done more--which to me doesn'tt really matter i just feel that it would make my mom feel amazing. hmmm...
MikeandJess
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
I think you should thank her after the reception
diva7531
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
Traditionally the way to acknowledge a parent paying is to have them invite the guests of the wedding. So like Mrs Bride cordially invites you the wedding of her daughter, Ms. Bride....
As much as you want to than your mom publicy, you almost embarass and put down FH' parents at the same time. I would present her with her plane ticket at the RD. JMHO
Espo22
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
i wouldn't do something like that at the reception...not only will it probably make his parents uncomfortable but i think others at the wedding will too. I dont think money matters should be publicly spoken at the wedding. Not who paid or a big gift you are giving to somebody
snwb08
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
i wouldn't. if you want to thank your mom privately, that's great. But I wouldn't call attention to it. the reception isn't the time and the place to single people out - especially parents - unless you are going to thank everyone. JMO
jeffamanda080808
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
We are thanking FMIL at the RD...she is paying for it. We are not giving parents gift at RD because we both agree that my parents should get a better gift because they are helping us more and it isn't polite to 'throw it in FMIL's face'. WIth that said...FH insisted that we publicly thank my parents at the reception. The invite says 'Mr & Mrs Soandso Request the honour of your presence' therefore they are the hosts of the event and should be thanked. That was FH's idea not mine.
As for giving your mom her plane tickets at the reception...I don't think it's a good idea. Maybe if you both were to sit down with her prior to or immediatly following, and give it to her...that way no one needs to kow how very COOL her gift was and she personally gets to hear your graditude, plus FH's family won't feel slighted. JMO!!!
iwannabmrsD
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
i disagree..i think you should thank her publicly.. i plan on thanking my mother publicly at our reception.. she did a WHOLE LOT for both me and fh.. and his parents haven't done anything. In our newsletter i thanked both of them and then added a second line thanking her for helping us make our day so special.. i'm sorry if it makes the in laws feel uncomfortable, but i don't see any reason why i should short my mom (who coincidentally, has also has been through so much with my dad passing and still managed to assist us in pulling this off) just to make them feel more comfortable.. so yep.. when it's my turn to talk at the reception, i'm going to give her the accolades that she deserves.
heathermatt
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
I think you should also not do it at the reception...May be say thansk to both and then the gift s you give them will really tell them thanks...I do not think the whole world needs to know what you got each of them...
MY FH and I will be giving our gifts to our parents the mornign of the wedding...In our houses with not a lot of people around and then we will mention a quick thank you to the at the wedding...
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
It's awesome that you want to thank her, but maybe doing something that big at the wedding would devastate your FILs and it would be crappy to start off your married life with them being upset.
You should thank them both, and then maybe take your mom out to dinner and then give her the plane ticket and stuff. I do think it would be inappropriate to do that at the wedding, JMHO.
GL with whatever you decide
MrsHtobe
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
I wouldn't thank them publicly at the reception - I think it would be akward for your in-laws. . . .
I would put her name on the invitation like jeffandamanda is doing. . . I understand that you want to thank her in a special way, I just don't think its appropriate. JMO though, you should really do what makes you and FH happy!
mariaobride
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
in all honestly I wouldnt thank her publicly like that either although I could understand where you are coming from and you have every right to feel that way it would be a bit unccomfortable for everyone to witness i think it would only open up a can of worms of course this is just my opinion good luck to whatever you decide to do
missliss
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
No. By thanking her publically for giving you the wedding, you're automatically insulting and embarrassing his family. If you feel it's necessary to publicly thank your parents, thank both sets for raising you and making you who you are today, not anything about giving you the wedding. Here's the thing, she gave BOTH OF YOU the wedding, it's not ANYONE else's business but yours, it's not something to advertise, it's tacky to publically discuss money even if it's only 'hinted at'. Your already sending her on a trip.....take her out for a nice dinner just the two of you and thank her privately. And maybe word your invitations that
Mrs. Mother of the Bride invites you to the wedding of Bride to Groom
That's the way to let people know that she's the host.
korndoggie
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
What about doing it at the rehearsal dinner if you are having one? Gifts are usually presented then and I don't think it would be out of line.
LeslieMike
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
There is nothing wrong with thanking your mom at the reception. Although, I would give the gift at the RD. You don't have to privately thank her though, come on, this is your mom, Thank her at the RH if you want. The gift may be a bit too much though. I would definitely thank both parents though.
Sunset Renee
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
If anything I would be mostly concerned with how my FH feels towards it. If he doesn't think it's a big deal, then I would totally thank her for all of her help! I think it would be adorable!! Your mom has obviously put a lot of effort into this - she would probably be thrilled to know you really appreciate it! Also, your future in-laws should understand. It's totally understandable if they don't have extra money to be paying for a wedding, but they shouldn't hold it against you if you didn't get them something as extravegant as a trip. If I was them, I would understand - Just be sure to talk it over thoroughly with your FH. Good Luck!!!
Espo22
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Re: i need your opinion--my mom is paying for everything and fh's parents aren't contributing is it ok to thank my mom publically at the wedding?
Posted by missliss
No. By thanking her publically for giving you the wedding, you're automatically insulting and embarrassing his family. If you feel it's necessary to publicly thank your parents, thank both sets for raising you and making you who you are today, not anything about giving you the wedding. Here's the thing, she gave BOTH OF YOU the wedding, it's not ANYONE else's business but yours, it's not something to advertise, it's tacky to publically discuss money even if it's only 'hinted at'. Your already sending her on a trip.....take her out for a nice dinner just the two of you and thank her privately. And maybe word your invitations that
Mrs. Mother of the Bride invites you to the wedding of Bride to Groom
That's the way to let people know that she's the host.
very well said...thank her for always being there for you and raising you but not for giving you the wedding, like she said 'It's nobodies business who paid for what'
