FIL's aren't paying for anything on the day of the wedding, however they did/are paying for the engagement party and the RH dinner. In proper etiquette do their names go on the invite? I.E.: Mrs. MOB and Mr. and Mrs. parents of the Groom, request... or Mrs. MOB requests the honour...me and Evan son of Mr. and Mrs. or should their names be on it at all? They never offered to pay for anything i.e. flowers limos(which FH and I are paying for and they are getting one) and when my single widowed retired mother asked if they would like to pay something towards their ONLY childs wedding they flat out refused!
Please help! TIA!
melbalalala
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Nope, wouldn't include them. They can put their names on the RD invite.
heatherandrichie
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I don't know about etiquette, but how does FH feel about leaving his parents OFF the invite? We are paying for most of our wedding (my dad is giving us $5k, mom is contrib. $1k for photog. and FMIL is paying for dj $800) I think we will say 'together with our families' blah blah blah
werock0709
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Wouldn't do it. If their paying for the RD, then yes. If they want their names on the invite, tyell em to cough over some cash!!
mycrayon1
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Posted by werock0709
Wouldn't do it. If their paying for the RD, then yes. If they want their names on the invite, tyell em to cough over some cash!!
See thats how I feel, but FH is totally against it. It's just my mom is planning on not putting their name on them at all! And since she's paying for them as well as just about everything else I don't see why not. Since their paying for the RD I wanted to put it as the 'son of...' but FH thinks it should be both their names on the TOP of the invite right under my mom's as if they're coughing over some dough for the day of.
mycrayon1
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I forgot to add that FH has already gone ahead and told his parents that their names will be on the invites
Espo22
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Many people put just the parents that are paying...However, i will put both their names on the invitation. Both set of parents have been very helpful and supportive of us, it's not just about the money. When it comes down to it, it is the wedding of both their kids and both are giving us away(in a way, i think you know what i mean)...for the e-party, yes i put only one set of parents and the same will go for the RD
However, if you don't have a great relationship with them or whatever the problem might be then you don't have to
When it comes down to it, do what makes you feel comfortable and happy
MysteryGroom
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I definitely wouldn't put their names on the invite. If they want their names on the invite they need to kick in some loot.
GabrielleandJohn
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FH and I are footing the bill soup to nuts and we are the only names on the invite.
It is important to not overlook that they are putting in money for the engagement party and the RD. That adds up! We paid for ours and the bill is around what your rents are paying. I wouldn't be quiet so dismissive of the amount they are paying. If your FH wants their names on it, then I would do it.
Pinkiegirll07
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I'm putting both family names on even though only one is actually paying... I wouldn't want to offend my new in-law's...so I'd rather just put everyone on and make everyone happy!
mycrayon1
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Posted by GabrielleandJohn
FH and I are footing the bill soup to nuts and we are the only names on the invite.
It is important to not overlook that they are putting in money for the engagement party and the RD. That adds up! We paid for ours and the bill is around what your rents are paying. I wouldn't be quiet so dismissive of the amount they are paying. If your FH wants their names on it, then I would do it.
See I understand what your saying, just keep in mind that the engagement party was at FH's firehouse and was only the cost of food(about 150 since FH's aunt did the cooking) and FMIL wants to do the same for the RD. I don't want to offend anyone either, I just don't think that they should be on top with my mom.
Espo22
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Posted by Pinkiegirll07
I'm putting both family names on even though only one is actually paying... I wouldn't want to offend my new in-law's...so I'd rather just put everyone on and make everyone happy!
True...plus Fh can't turn around to his parents and say you're not on the wedding invitation bc you didn't put in any money but meanwhile they uhmmm RAISED HIM and took care of him and have done so much for him over the years.
SeptBride70
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Posted by MysteryGroom
I definitely wouldn't put their names on the invite. If they want their names on the invite they need to kick in some loot.
I agree MG!
leafgirl
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We are paying for the majority of my wedding. My mom gave me money for the future, she is paying for my dress and all the whistles that go w it. My il's are paying for the rd and they paid for our engagement party.... I am going to put our names 'together w their parents or maybe families' since everyone has been soooo supportive. My sisters are my moh's so they are putting a lot into my bridal shower and I'm sure my bachlorette party. IMO it's not about $$ its about love... that's what that day is about. I'd put together w your families and on the RD since thy are paying put hosted by them...
tonimike
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well just to throw my 2 cents in,,,,,
in the grand scheme of it , a wedding isnt really about who pays for what, ediquite , schmediquite,,,
just because fil, or my parents for that matter are NOT paying , doesnt mean im going to exclude them off the invite.. They are still all giving us our blessings & i just think its rude IMO to exclude them due to the fact that they are , or are not 'forking over $ ' as some say ..
unless there is bad blood , why do that .. the people closest to you probably know whos paying for what & whos not ,..
again , jmo, I like the fact that both sets of paremts are being honored as they should be , no matter what the kick in !!!
leafgirl
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Posted by mycrayon1
Posted by GabrielleandJohn
FH and I are footing the bill soup to nuts and we are the only names on the invite.
It is important to not overlook that they are putting in money for the engagement party and the RD. That adds up! We paid for ours and the bill is around what your rents are paying. I wouldn't be quiet so dismissive of the amount they are paying. If your FH wants their names on it, then I would do it.
, just keep in mind that the engagement party was at FH's firehouse and was only the cost of food(about 150 since FH's aunt did the cooking) and FMIL wants to do the same for the RD. IQUOTE]
again keep in mind its not about $$$$
Espo22
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Posted by tonimike
well just to throw my 2 cents in,,,,,
in the grand scheme of it , a wedding isnt really about who pays for what, ediquite , schmediquite,,,
just because fil, or my parents for that matter are NOT paying , doesnt mean im going to exclude them off the invite.. They are still all giving us our blessings & i just think its rude IMO to exclude them due to the fact that they are , or are not 'forking over $ ' as some say ..
unless there is bad blood , why do that .. the people closest to you probably know whos paying for what & whos not ,..
again , jmo, I like the fact that both sets of paremts are being honored as they should be , no matter what the kick in !!!
Very well said
Espo22
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I do wanna say that is just how I personally feel. This is your wedding and about your feelings, if you don't want them on the invitation talk to your FH, but since he does just listen to his side too. Good luck, hope it all works out
Dom n Nic
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Posted by mycrayon1
FIL's aren't paying for anything on the day of the wedding, however they did/are paying for the engagement party and the RH dinner. In proper etiquette do their names go on the invite? I.E.: Mrs. MOB and Mr. and Mrs. parents of the Groom, request... or Mrs. MOB requests the honour...me and Evan son of Mr. and Mrs. or should their names be on it at all? They never offered to pay for anything i.e. flowers limos(which FH and I are paying for and they are getting one) and when my single widowed retired mother asked if they would like to pay something towards their ONLY childs wedding they flat out refused!
Please help! TIA!
they are paying for the e party and the rd which is really helping out with the wedding if you think about it .. i would put their names on the invite
my in laws paid for the rd and gave a lot to us at my bridal shower my parents paid for the e-party and helped us with things for the wedding. we put both sets of parents on the invite mor so for their guest list so when they got the invite people would know who Nicole and Dom are lolol
mycrayon1
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I really apreciate all of your opinions, and am glad to know that GH and I are not alone with putting both their names on the invites, (just how to word it) As far as Mom's go they don't get along the greatest to begin with and the whole wedding/money issue isn't making it any easier.
Thank you again for all of your help and opinions!
