I need your opinions

Original post by mycrayon1

Jan 04, 2007 01:31 PM

FIL's aren't paying for anything on the day of the wedding, however they did/are paying for the engagement party and the RH dinner.
In proper etiquette do their names go on the invite?
I.E.: Mrs. MOB and Mr. and Mrs. parents of the Groom, request...
or
Mrs. MOB requests the honour...me and Evan son of Mr. and Mrs.
or should their names be on it at all?
They never offered to pay for anything i.e. flowers limos(which FH and I are paying for and they are getting one) and when my single widowed retired mother asked if they would like to pay something towards their ONLY childs wedding they flat out refused!

Please help!
TIA!

kitty1224 Posted: Jan 04, 2007 02:44 PM

Re: I need your opinions

You can really start a lot of drama with not adding there names. I remeber an incident like this last year, and lets just say that the mom whos name was not on the invite was so upset she refused to go to the wedding. They ended up changing the invites. So, I would tell you to add there name because for what ever reason they are not helping with the wedding, but they have help a bit does not mean that they are not happy for you guys or that they are not standing behind you. You do not want any drama.

MF9282 Posted: Jan 04, 2007 04:52 PM

Re: I need your opinions

Hmm...I 'd say ask FH how he feels about them not being included if it upsets him or he thins it will be an issue for them include them if not I think something along the line of please join in the celebration of....'

siobhanB Posted: Jan 04, 2007 05:29 PM

Re: I need your opinions

Why don't you compromise by putting there names on it, but at the bottom as:
Mrs MOB requests your honour at the marriage of you to FH son of Mr. and Mrs. blah blah blah

This way they are on it, so FH can't really say anything, his parents cant be upset cause they are there, and your mom can't be upset because it is still her in the 'hosting' spot on the invite...

AeroJenn Posted: Jan 04, 2007 05:55 PM

Re: I need your opinions

Posted by mycrayon1

I forgot to add that FH has already gone ahead and told his parents that their names will be on the invites

Well then he needs to retract his statement and clear that up. If they arent contributing anything to the ACTUAL wedding, then their names do NOT belong on the invitation. Since they are paying for the e-party and RD, their names would go on those invites only. The problem is -- when names appear on invites, people equate that with 'oh, thats who paid' because thats the way it is traditionally done. Dont give them credit where credit isnt due. Its not fair to your parents.

faithandkevin Posted: Jan 04, 2007 07:15 PM

Re: I need your opinions

I too agree that the wording on the invite should reflect the emotional support of parents and isn't there just so people will know who's actually paying for event. It's not about that!! My parents aren't dying for everyone to know that they're hosting my wedding. It's noone's business who's paying anyway!! The day is about me and my FH, not a chance for my mom and dad to show off!