So I've pretty much decided on a few bridesmaids dresses that I want to go take a look at and have a few of the girls to try on to figure out which I like best.
I am not giving the girls a choice in the color that I want because I want pink and that's that!!! And all the girls who are in my BP knew before I was even engaged that if they were in my BP the dresses would be pink
My Jr. BM who is 13 asks about the dresses the other day and says 'what if one of the girls doesnt like the dress or the color what are you going to do?' I said well I'm not negotiating on the color at all and the only one so far who doesnt like the dress is the MOH and I am letting her choose a different but similar dress....her mother says well if the Bride is picking everything without giving the girls a choice then she should pay for the dresses!
I kept my mouth shut bc I didnt want to argue but I completely disagreed with her...I've been in 9 bridal parties and never had a say in color or the dress and I always paid for the dress regardless of what I felt bc it was the brides choice and she liked it.
What do I do if the mother thinks I am going to foot the bill for her kids dress?
fabulousmady
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
i agree with you. ive been a bridesmaid before where i had no say in the style of the dress or the color and i still had to pay for the dress. If the mother is going to give u a hard time u can let her know ur wedding party will look just as great without a junior bridesmaid!
It's amazing how people act in these situations! When you are asked to be in a wedding it is taking on a financial responsiblilty and that includes paying for a dress...possibly a shower and more. Stand your ground! The bride picks the gowns and thats it! Of course you want to pick a dress that looks good on all the girls...considering their body types but the buck stops there!
MRSin2009
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
You are right! You pick the color its your wedding. People have to understand that and if they dont then too bad! Not everyone will look amazing in the same color but since its your day they should suck it up for that ONE DAY!
michesq
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
you pick and they pay that is my experience in all weddings I have been in. Maybe explain this to the mom ahead of time to avoid more probs down the road
FutureMrsWildes
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
I totally agree with you - I've been in so many weddings and not once has my dress been paid for. I've worn ugly dresses and hated the color, but you wear it with a smile because that's what the bride wants!!!
VickiR510
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST UNREAL. WHY DO THEY HAVE TO MAKE AN ISSUE AS SOMETHING SO SIMPLE AS A DRESS. ITS YOUR DAY WHY GIVE YOU GRIEF? REALLY ITS YOU RPICTURES IN THE END! GEEZ
frenchy702
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
I've been in a few weddings and never had to pay for the dress or had a choice in color either. I think maybe you should talk to the mother or have another one of your BM or MOH talk to the mother and let her know that ti's not the brides responsibility to pay for her kids dresses.
MaggieLuvsJoe
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
thanks for your support girls, I wanted to see if I was the only one being unreasonable but apparently she is the wierdo
TamnSteve
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
Her mother must has eloped. No way...if they accept to be the bridal party its a GIVEN... you get to pick the dress and color and they pay for it.
What ugh!
MrsInglima
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
People have said that to me (about paying for the dresses) and that's just cr*p as far as I'm concerned. It's my wedding they will do what I want! Within reason of course. Haha.
If the mother thinks you're going to pay for the gir's dress, explain that everyone else is paying for their own dress and no one had a problem with it, so she will have to pay as well. End of story. If she causes a big stink, then say you're sorry but there's nothing you can do since you have so many expenses. I bet you anything if it comes to that, the daughter will put up a big enough stink that the mother will come around.
Marissa09Bride
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
I don't know what world she is living in, but where I come from the bride picks and the BMs pay. I could see if maybe you were looking at something unreasonably expensive, but otherwise it's a given that everyone buys her own dress.
Soon2BMrsC09
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
i went thru a similar problem (i am buying the dresses tho) - but i would tell them this is the color and the dress - and if they cant pay for it because they dont like the color or the dress - then i'd tell them id love them to come as a guest then - your the bride - its your day - its what YOU want
bluegreen08
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
the bride picks and the BM almost always pays.
I'm like you -- my girls knew it would be blue dresses -- although I did let them have a lot of leeway in picking the actual dress as long as it came in a medium blue. I did and still do prefer strapless, but I decided it's more important for my BMs to be comfortable so I went with the spaghetti strap they wanted.
I think the bride should be conscious of what is flattering and comfortable on the girls (ex: if some BMs are plus-size, or have a large chest, etc) but in the end the decision is yours.
Jsquared279
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
I don't understand what people don't get about this. When you agree to be in a bridal party you are agreeing to basically wear something that you don't pick and fork over the money not only for your atire that day but also for shower/bachelorette stuff! I don't think you should pay for ANY bridal party gown. That is ridiculous! They are supposed to be honoring you, not you paying for them to be there to honor you. Sorry for the rant but I just don't get what the confusion is. You're the bride, it's your day, you pick the color and possibly the dresses and everyone just needs to fall in line. I have spoken! HAHA!
lanamanitta
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
We're all on the same page . . . you pick, they pay. I'm not surprised it's a mother of a junior bridesmaid rather than one of your actual bridesmaids themselves, however, that has the issue. No offense, but her daughter could just not be in the wedding . . . . .
RobNCyn
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
No!!! YOU are correct!! If the BM or anyone in the BP does not want to pay or is that upset about the dress then they do not have to agree to be part of the BP.
You gave them the choice to be part of your BP - they should understand that part of their responsibility is to pay for some crucial stuff - ie. their dresses!
The mother has NO say! Her daughters can make their own decisions.
redvelvet
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Posted by maggiejoe
thanks for your support girls, I wanted to see if I was the only one being unreasonable but apparently she is the wierdo
of course ur not being unreasonable....i mean everyone knows this. its on the verge of being put in encyclopedias that 'what the bride says, goes'!!! i mean it should be. seriously though, she knows this. some people just want to be difficult...and she will probably not be the last difficult person you face throughout the planning either...
just stay firm on your decisions. it's a reasonable meeting point between you and your atendants
GiantsBride
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That is ridiculous... if the BMs pick the color you would have a freaking rainbow wedding everytime
beram63
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Re: I need your opinions on a Bridesmaid issue
oh, come on. that's ridiculous. girls know what they're signing up for when they agree to be in the BP. if a bride shows a little flexibility, most girls consider themselves lucky. i mean, isn't that the joke--spending $$$ on the ugliest dress you ever wore?
it sounds like mouthy mommy wants to squirm her way out of paying for her kid's dress. i would make sure the expectations are clear about her financial responsibility.
