After months of FH's best friend's wife talking about how she doesn't like kids and whatever, come to find out, she is pregnant. This man is supposed to be a groomsman at out wedding. But his wife is due ON OUR WEDDING DAY! (I will not even get into how annoyed I am since I feel that she got pregnant now on purpose, but that's for another day.) Keep in mind, this woman didn't come to our engagement party which was only 4 blocks from their house because she 'was not feeling well'. BULLSHEET! Ok..moving on.
So now there is a possibility that he won't be able to be there. I would hate for us to plan on him being there and suddenly he cannot come. I don't know what to do. I am close to telling FH to pick another person. He said we will deal with it when the time comes, but I don't likethat crap. I plan ahead for EVERYTHING! I don't like this wait and see garbage. I need to know who is going to be there and who isn't.
What do you think we should do?
nferrandi
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Re: I need your opinions on what to do.
I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with having your FH pick another guy. First of all, even if this guys wife did this on purpose it's not your FH's friends fault. Second of all, if your FH asked this guy to be part of your wedding, it's obviously because he wants him to be a part of it. As far as asking someone else to replace him, I don't agree with that. If it turns out that this guy can't be part of your wedding, than you just go a guy short. Lots of people have uneven numbers in their bridal party.
CubanBride
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Re: I need your opinions on what to do.
True, some people have uneven BP, but we don't want that. We don't like the way it looks. Also, the Jr. BM won't walk down the aisle by herself. We have the BP planned perfectly so she can walk down with someone she likes.
MRSJLK
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Re: I need your opinions on what to do.
Posted by CubanBride
After months of FH's best friend's wife talking about how she doesn't like kids and whatever, come to find out, she is pregnant. This man is supposed to be a groomsman at out wedding. But his wife is due ON OUR WEDDING DAY! (I will not even get into how annoyed I am since I feel that she got pregnant now on purpose, but that's for another day.) Keep in mind, this woman didn't come to our engagement party which was only 4 blocks from their house because she 'was not feeling well'. BULLSHEET! Ok..moving on.
So now there is a possibility that he won't be able to be there. I would hate for us to plan on him being there and suddenly he cannot come. I don't know what to do. I am close to telling FH to pick another person. He said we will deal with it when the time comes, but I don't likethat crap. I plan ahead for EVERYTHING! I don't like this wait and see garbage. I need to know who is going to be there and who isn't.
What do you think we should do?
Don't do anything crazy. I think your FH should decide how he wants to handle it since its his best friend. I think maybe the best friend should be able to tell you whether or not he thinks he'll be able to handle the responsibility.
CubanBride
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Re: I need your opinions on what to do.
Does anyone else think I am wrong for wanting FH to chose another GM? Come on, be honest.
MrsJ
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Re: I need your opinions on what to do.
I think bottom line is that this guy is going to do what ever he has to do with his wife and baby. The situation really stinks though. But I dont think you can count on him for the wedding.
Maybe your FH can ask someone else to be BM too - have both of them be BM that way if the one guy has to bow out, your FH still has a BM.
nferrandi
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Re: I need your opinions on what to do.
I guess the best thing t do would be to ask this guy if he thinks he'll be able to be in the wedding. If he says no, and you're stuck on having even numbers, then your FH can ask someone else. If he says that he will be there, then I think it would be a slap in the face to ask someone else. And if you do ask someone else, and this original guy does show up, then you are back to having an uneven amount of people.
Jmg11
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Re: I need your opinions on what to do.
CubanBride...I feel I can be honest with you because I 'know' you - and I feel that we always give eachother our honest opinions.
So - with all due respect - considering the info you gave us, I think you are wrong in this situation.
I do understand your being upset...but let me give it to you from the other side. My husband and I talk about when we want to have children...we are both in a wedding next sept. but it is very hard for me to predict when I am going to get pregnant and know if I will be on their wedding day or not.
It really doesnt matter if you have even or odd #'s in your bridal party - no one will notice. (trust me!)
In addition, it might not have been a planned pregnancy - or hell, maybe she just doesn't like you so she did it on purpose...whatever it is though - I think you should keep him in the party - and as it gets closer maybe have you FI talk to one of the other groomsmen and ask him to take over the responsibility of the BM (holding the rings or what not) This is about your FI's friendship with him - so I think you need to leave it to your FI to figure it out for now.
I wish I knew before I was married - how little some of the details really were to me the day of my wedding. I really think this is one of the details....don't sweat the small stuff - no matter what, at the end of the day you will be married to your honey - THAT is what is important!!
MRSJLK
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Re: I need your opinions on what to do.
Posted by nferrandi
I guess the best thing t do would be to ask this guy if he thinks he'll be able to be in the wedding. If he says no, and you're stuck on having even numbers, then your FH can ask someone else. If he says that he will be there, then I think it would be a slap in the face to ask someone else. And if you do ask someone else, and this original guy does show up, then you are back to having an uneven amount of people.
I agree...i think that it would be a slap in the face to ask someone else. It's really like you are making the decision for them. I understand your situation...but thats just my opinion.
jenifer99
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Re: I need your opinions on what to do.
i had an uneven bridal party! and one of my bridesmaids found out she was due to have her baby the week of my weding! so she had to drop out. them my brother-in-law broke his ankle 3 weeks before the wedding and was on crutches and the bridal party was uneven. so i would just wait it out, if you are one less guy, it's really not a big deal
CubanBride
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Re: I need your opinions on what to do.
*sigh* yup, that's all true.
I guess this all stems from the fact that I don't trust this lady as far as I can throw her. SO now I am obsessing about it.
The thing that bothers me about the uneven bridal party is that if I don't have someone to walk down the aisle with my Jr. Bm, she won't go and then I will have to have her not be a part of it. That would upset me greatly.
EDIT: Just thinking, is there a way to thave the Jr, BM walk down the aisle with me, without it looking weird?
I don't have anyone walking me down the aisle right now so I would be happy to have her walk with me.
bluesashbride
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Re: I need your opinions on what to do.
I am kinda having to deal with my FH right now getting into mine and my BMs business. I would say just let him deal with his friends and try to not worry about it. The less you pressure him to make the decision you would make and the more you support him the better you might feel. If you have too few groomsmen it doesn't take away from the joy of marrying your darling man. And raspberries to that woman but keep smiling and it'll kill her (if she truly is the plotting type) to know you're supremely happy with your man, your day, and don't need her attention.
