I truly don't know what happened but I didn't hear from her for months at a time and she works 10min from my house. She cuts me off when I call her at work, she doesn't answer her phone at home and disconnected her machine. I called her mothers phone about a week ago to tell her that my uncle died and I would be in the neighborhood so I was going to come by and she never returned my call. My kids are her godchildren and she never showed up to my sons first birthday party last week and left a message saying she would call the next day to explain and never did. She never sent them christmas cards like she's done for the past 12years. Never called on christmas. I dropped a gift off at her job and she never even called to say thank you to the kids. She did call me about 3 weeks ago to ask to borrow money because they were repoing her car and I told her no problem and then called her the next day to say I miscalculated and could only get her half and she called me back and said forget it she borrowed the whole thing from someone at work(which I can't imagine her doing). Im freaking out. I've tried talking to her in the past and get told I just don't call anyone anymore. Igoring my kids at the holidays made me realize that the friendship is over and she was just looking for a way out for some reason. I am so hurt and confused right now, I haven't slept since christmas!
Jola
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I'm so sorry, I know how that must feel
LuckyMe
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Thanks!! Ya know what's really bad is that last night I was sitting with the phone because I was bored and didn't feel well and just wanted to talk and realized that I had no one to call anymore. Ever since I had kids and moved to long island all my friends have gone their own way and I felt sooo pathetic. I sound it too now don't I
leighdvm
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I actually know how you feel. My best bud since, l think the 8th grade, and I haven't spoken in a year and a half. I realized, FINALLY, that she was all about herself. Kind of a 'fair-weather friend'. I was going through a really tough time and she was not there for me at all. I got to thinking that she never really was.
At times, I think about her and miss the fun times we had. But you know what, she was never a true friend to me so I'm not missing out on much.
Sorry you are hurting though.
nylibride
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No, you do not at all sound pathetic. You sound like someone who misses her friend a lot and whose life has changed a whole lot. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. From an outside perspective and knowing nothing about the situation other than your post, it sounds like your friend is going through some rough times. Obviously she's not letting you in to know what's up, but when you reach a point that you've cut off one of your best friends and your car is being reposessed, something is really wrong.
suven
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Oh No! that's so sad!
halfpintny
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You're not pathetic. The one that's pathetic is your 'ex-friend'. Don't feel like you're alone. I had this happen to me last year by a close friend. It was as if one second we were friend and the next second we weren't. I never got an explaination and I even tried mutual friends who were of no help either. It's very frustrating and hurtful. If I did something so terrible that you would stop speaking to me over it at least let me know about it because as anyone who TRULY knows me, I would go to the ends of the earth to fix it and make it right. And so you AND I don't feel like we're the only ones...one of my BM had this happen to her as well. I know it's hard to 'lose' someone who you have known for so long....so here's a hug.... FM if you want to chat...never to late to make new friends!
Spitzergirl
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lullabella
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Perhaps she is going through a really tough time right now and this is why she is avoiding you. You said her car was being repoed - that is pretty serious. Do you think she has a drug problem?
If I were you and she was truly my best friend at one time I would confront her and find out what the hec is going on.
Sorry you are going through this - I can't imagine how sad you must be. I do think you will feel better once you confront her. Can you go to her job?
DCSAAB06
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Dont feel that you have no one....all the LIW girls are your friends and as you can see, we are all hear to listen and make you feel better, if we can. Hopefully your friend will come around and will explain her actions. If not, and Im sorry if she dosent, she must not of have been a good friend after all and you dont want someone like that in your life who feels they can walk in/out whenever they want. Sorry that you are going thru this
Feel better!
nicknmb
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I am so sorry. Its tough, but sometimes people just drift.
PUPADOLCE
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Posted by lullabella
Perhaps she is going through a really tough time right now and this is why she is avoiding you. You said her car was being repoed - that is pretty serious. Do you think she has a drug problem?
If I were you and she was truly my best friend at one time I would confront her and find out what the hec is going on.
Sorry you are going through this - I can't imagine how sad you must be. I do think you will feel better once you confront her. Can you go to her job?
I agree.. find out what is going on. This situation doesn't seem right.
maybe she needs your help?
girlygrl33
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i agree too maybe something is going on with her and she doesnt want to burden you with her pain b/c she doesnt want to spoil your mood for your wedding. I hope nothing major is wrong like a family member sick or something and by avoiding you she doesnt have to explain, maybe talking about it for her right now is not good either and she may feel compelled to tell you if she speaks to you or see's you. I know this hurts I went through the same thing, the avoidance and we just never spoke again, and I realized she wasnt a true friend, but believe me it really hurt- I gave it my all just to be stepped on. Im sorry your kids have to go through this too along with you. give her after the new year see what happens. if nothing changes know in your heart you are a GREAT person and what ever it is that made her feel she couldnt be friends with you anymore is a blessing- especially when kids are around. A friend is someone you can count on no matter what and you deserve that not half!!! and as far as the kids better for her to break their heart now than if they were older, kids dont forget but dont hold grudges at an early age as they do as they get older. feel free to FM anytime you need to talk, I am always checking my mail!!! Janice
LuckyMe
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You guys truly are great, Thanks This is not the first time though this has happened in the last year or two and I always have run up to her job or even driven into Queens to her house to find out what is going on and everytime I get told I haven't been calling anyone and find out later that she has gone out with other friends that she has claimed to me she can't stand or gone on trips with them(what kind of best friend doesn't even tell you she's going away)I find out through passing conversations about guys she's dated that I never even heard her talk about. As far as drugs the only drug she is addicted to is her credit card. We have always been there for each other financially with the understanding that look we're not perfect and if I can help I will and we always have with no judgement or conditions. We don't even pay each other back we just return the favor! When I confront her I always feel when I leave like she's making a jerk out of me with the I don't talk to anyone crap! She also has three other godchildren that live out of state and she travels more to see them and makes sure she gets custom gifts for them, but can't show up to my son's first birthday. I mean I didn't even ask her to be godmother or my MOH she just assumed and that was fine with me because I would've asked her anyway, that's how close I thought we were. I just feel like I have no life left except for the kids and FH(not that their not a good thing). I don't know it's kinda been a snowball effect with everything else Im losing my mind over. Im glad you guys are there though even though you don't know me!
PerfectPair05
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Jola
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I should add also. I have gone threw this myself with my cousin, we were best friends and we just slipped away, don't remember over what-she didn't even come to my wedding
My friend is going threw the same thing with her friend. She is supposed to be her MOH but doesn't look like she will over her friends neglect over their friendship.
LuckyMe
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I feel like I lost a member of my family. She was with me when my dad died and would call sometimes to talk about him because she missed him. Again, I take being the godmother to my children very serious and it hurts that she's walking out of their life too. I don't know, I guess I have no choices left, right? I mean I've confronted her on numerous occasions, I've tried to be there for her just as much as she was with me but it always seems like after she starts talking to me again that she had been talking and hanging out with everyone but me through her tough time! Im just to the point that I truly believe she thinks she's too good for me. It's a shame that I have to feel like this about someone I considered a part of my family!
girlygrl33
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Ok I will get into detail here myself with my personal experience too
I had a best friend for 17 yrs until a yr and a half ago, we went through everything the boyfriends, parents divorces, deaths you name it weve been through it together.
My FH has the same situation but he had been best friends for over 20 yrs and they too been through it all jail together FH mom death, best friends father in hospital heartattack, birth of best friends sister baby- everything- No my FH isnt a degenerate, lol best friend was chasing ex at age 19 in car and she called police on cell and they arrested the boys. anyhow FH and I thought what a great idea to set them up since both were single for over 2-5 yrs and dating here and there, so we did and that was the biggest mistake ever. Rumors were started by my BF- she never confronted me and wouldnt cause she was creating big time lies, it was bad FH best friend believed her over FH - what a joke so we dont speak anymore- the guys still talk here and there but its not the same for us girls we dont speak at all.
we recently were all invited to a mutual friends wedding and talk about awkward we were sitting at the same table next to eachother it just worked out that way with the seating of a 14 person table talk about luck but we were very civil with one another and that was that- that was just this april havent seen or spoken to her since. it hurt BIGTIME I felt betrayed and like a piece of my heart was ripped out of me. FH is very upset too the best friend would have been his best man but not anymore.
