I really wish that I could do today over (very long,sorry)

Let me preface this by saying that I have no people skills. I have what I think are panic attacks sometimes when I have to deal with people I don't know or groups of people, even if I know them. (I'll probably need a tranquilizer or something for the wedding )
I tell my MOH a while back that I don't want the shower to be a surprise. If I know about it I can mentally prepare myself so it's not so bad.
She tells me all along that she is not going to tell me when but it will be around the end of Aug. and that it would be very difficult to make it a surprise anyway, which is true. This weekend is suppose to be my niece's b-day party in Jersey. I get it stuck in my head that this is my shower and start freakin' out.
OK, this is the part where I wish that I had the do over. I am talking to my mom and say is this a trick or something this weekend and it's really my shower?
Yes, I know that I should never had said that and I am really kicking myself now. She said, well if it's a trick, it's a really good one because I didn't even finish your favors yet. Ok, so I believe her.
My MOH calls back 2 min later really really pissed saying that tomorrow IS my shower and she busted her a$$ to make this perfect and to make it a surprise.

Apparently my mom called her to tell her what happened and she flipped out.
Bottom line, I spoke to MOH (sis in law), my brother and FH today who all made me feel even lower than I already felt (didn't know that was possible) and I was crying all day at work and when I got home. Of course we have to have a customer visiting today when all this cr@p is happening.
So now I feel like this and this and I can't really do anything to fix it. Nobody else is suppose to know that I know so they wont be upset too.
Now I have to go tomorrow and face the people who know and try to play surprised for everyone else. I am really not good at being fake.
I am such an idiot!! Why didn't I keep my big mouth shut!!!

well i think you have beat yourself up enough about this, there is nothing you can do to change what happen but you can get a good nights rest, look you best and SMILE...
Anyone can act surprised...
Just think how happy it would make your MOH and mom if you had a wonderful day! Try to forget what happened and concentrate on what wonderful people threw this party for you!

HAVE FUN!!!

Sweetie - Don't beat yourself up so much!!! You were very clear in telling people that you didn't want it to be a surprise for specific reasons so why they would continue to make it a surprise is beyond me. I don't know why your MOH called you and flipped out - bottom line - your mom didn't tell you it was this weekend - she did!! At least now you can mentally prepare - relax, enjoy the day and have a great time!!! Dont let your MOH bother you - she is prob just stressed too from all the plannng to make your shower wonderful!!

I feel so bad for you but this is so not your fault. If it was getting close to my shower I would be asking my mom left and right if the next party we were going to was really the shower and not so and so's graduation party. It is fine that your mom called your MOH to tell her that you wanted to know, but they could have laughed it off, the answer that your Mom gave was perfect about not finishing the favors. I have NO idea why your MOH called all pissed off that you had your suspicions. They should have just kept trying not to let on. I can't believe that everyone is trying to make you feel so bad. If anything your MOH should never have called you and it would still be a surprise. It should have been a joke later on that you were wondering if this party was the actual shower. PLEASE PLEASE don't let anyone make you feel bad or upset....this was totally blown way out of proportion and you really were reamed out for no reason. I really hope that you feel better...sorry so long

Thanks ladies. I knew that you guys would make me feel better about this. I don't think that my brother or FH were trying to make we feel worse on purpose, it just ended up that way. I think that my MOH called me because she tried so hard to surprise me and at the last minute she found out that I might know. She was disappointed and reacted.
She did call me later and apologized for reacting like that.

Aw....

I'm sorry but if the surprise was going to bother you, your MOH should have eased up on you...I feel so bad that your beating yourself up over this...please dont...MOH will get over it and you will have great time, feeling this way will make it worse ok?
SMILE!!!! ( think of the gifts )

Don't beat yourself up over it. It happened and thats that. Now you know tomorrow is a special day for you and even though you know, you will still walk in there tomorrow and be totally suprised. You don't know any of the details and who is all going to be there. I found out about mine and I was still shocked when I walked in to see all those people there just for me. Your day won't be ruined and by tomorrow everyone will forget and be laughing that you figured it out!! Don't worry, be happy!!

Thanks ladies. You're right. If I go there tomorrow and have a great time, that will hopefully overshadow the whole surprise thing.

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Posted by suven

don't beat yourself up! If anything, it was wrong for your MOH to call you up and say that!!!! Your mom covered it all up very well!! Your MOH is the one who blew it!

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I agree!

And also, I understand why you wanted to know when it was- I am the same.

I think the best thing to make everyone feel better is to put on a happy smile, once the shower starts, all bad feelings will disappear.
If you want to make your MOH and Mother feel better about the situation.........
Then I would have my FH secretly buy them both a dozen roses and at the end of the shower, surprise them with the the roses, or have them delivered to their house, so when they get home they are waiting for them. Your way to say 'Thank You'.

2untamed, that's a great idea! Thanks!

that is a great idea from 2untamed........

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Posted by mrswask

Sweetie - Don't beat yourself up so much!!! You were very clear in telling people that you didn't want it to be a surprise for specific reasons so why they would continue to make it a surprise is beyond me. I don't know why your MOH called you and flipped out - bottom line - your mom didn't tell you it was this weekend - she did!! At least now you can mentally prepare - relax, enjoy the day and have a great time!!! Dont let your MOH bother you - she is prob just stressed too from all the plannng to make your shower wonderful!!

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I agree totally. I found about my shower the day of and something very similar happened. My MOH started hysterically crying and then I started and it was a terrible scene but then we both calmed ourselves and remembered that this is suppossed to be fun! I had a FANTASIC shower and I know u will tooo!!!! U just have to remember that your mom and your BMs are under alot of stress also.

You're welcome for the idea....... The same thing happened to me.....My MOH & Mother were upset that I found out about the date, which was OK, because I also wanted to know the date....I even helped with the details of the shower (list, centerpieces, favors etc..)
I just didn't know about the date or place, until a situation arose, and I figured out which day it was. They were both upset, but I was happy and told them, my surprise would be the place and their personal touches. The following day, I sent each a flowers, and they were shocked and thrilled for the thought. Let us know how it turns out