I said Goodbye.. Long..

myasmom Posted: Apr 06, 2004 06:48 PM

I said Goodbye.. Long..

Today I had a conversation with my ex. He is getting Married in October and wanted to let me know.

Basically something horrible happenedi n our relationship..No cheating or anything like that but its more sad than mean. Its too personal to go into..sorry. But our relationship didnt end due to a lack of love....

Well the short vesrion is that we both still have feelings for each other but basically what took place in our past I would always be blaming him and just couldnt do that to him because i loved him so much I chose to end the relationship.

I love my Fh equally if not more but without all the heartache but today I was n tears when Ex told me how for the past years he has hoped I would come back but now he realizes that I never will so he is getting married.

I got a jealous twinge honestly but as I said...I know we love each other but we are just not good together. But my goodness to hear him say goodbye and me to say it permanetly because it was the best thing....has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

I spoke to Fh..who has always been aware of everything and he basically gave me his shoulder...so I have no regrets I am marrying the right person....but Goodbye is so hard.

Bride2B93 Posted: Apr 06, 2004 06:54 PM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

I'm sorry that you are hurting! Your FH is so wonderful that he understands all that you are going through right now!!!

Scoop Posted: Apr 06, 2004 06:55 PM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

It's only natural to still have feelings about past relationships. As difficult as it may be, I think you made the right decision in saying goodbye. Focusing on your husband and your future will help you move on. Best of luck to you.

razz1031 Posted: Apr 06, 2004 06:56 PM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

Wow! That's tough! Your FH sounds like a wonderful man though!

Summer Bride Posted: Apr 06, 2004 07:03 PM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

You're a lucky girl to have two men love you so much! Just think of all you have to look forward too with your FH.

MrsBrad Posted: Apr 06, 2004 07:03 PM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

AWW - I am sorry... but you have a winner, its so great the your FH would listen and be there for you considering everything. I dont know if I could do that ...

LIJuneBride Posted: Apr 06, 2004 07:44 PM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

It's always difficult when an ex gets married, even when you know you weren't right for each other. In your case, it's especially difficult. Your FH is a very caring, understanding man. You made a wonderful choice!

LadyPrincess Posted: Apr 06, 2004 09:10 PM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

WoW -- yr FH is a gem

marymoon Posted: Apr 06, 2004 09:14 PM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

That's really hard. I went through the same thing. My ex got his gf preggers and so they decided to get married, and after I heard that I freaked out. It was just so weird and so hard. I even started wearing the ring he gave me again (it wasn't a promise ring, he actually gave it to me before we stared going out) just b/c I wanted to hold on to him in some way. I have no pics of us together and that started to depress me, and I freaked out. It was weird and hard to have that chapter closed. It's good that your FH understands..anyway, just wanted to say you're not alone.

myasmom Posted: Apr 06, 2004 09:41 PM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

Thank you ladies.

Its nice to hear that someone else has been through this.
But its such bad timing. I am just thinking of th epast instead of the future and its p*****g me off that I am even thinking like this.

Bebalina Posted: Apr 06, 2004 10:22 PM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

brideinapril Posted: Apr 07, 2004 08:59 AM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

It must be so hard for you right now, but now at least there is some closure, and you can put it behind you. Thank God you have such an understanding FH, I don't know many men who would be able to take that! Now you need to focus on your wonderful future with him.

kathleenmarie Posted: Apr 07, 2004 09:16 AM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

I know EXACTLY howyou feel. I had a relationship end that was still very full of love. Yes it was hard to move on and be with someone else, and hard to see the other person be with someone else. but I love my husband more than enything and I am so with the right person. You can have a whole relationship without all the old baggage to cloud it. Congratulations on being brave enough to move on and do what is right for you. Your FI sounds like a great guy. Its natural to have all these strange feelings when we are getting married too. Just know that. Fell free to FM if you need someone to chat with.

FLaCaTaCa Posted: Apr 07, 2004 09:19 AM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

Myasmom....you have FM

JP&EP Posted: Apr 07, 2004 09:23 AM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

nicknmb Posted: Apr 07, 2004 09:26 AM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

Wow, what a story. Good for you, I am sure you foundthe right guy. He sounds incredible!

halloweenbride04 Posted: Apr 07, 2004 09:31 AM

Re: I said Goodbye.. Long..

First of all I think it's really brave of you to admit your feelings instead of denying it or hiding them! I think there is always one ex who will always have that special place in our heart.

I also can relate, my last long-term ex and I were together for two years. I was ready to settle down and focus on our relationship and he was not. He needed to make life choices to further his career which at the time was VERY important to him and I always felt that my needing his attention and time was getting in his way so I gracefully stepped aside and we mutually agreed that the timing wasn't right for our relationship. I moved on before he did, but did ask me to come back to him after I was already involved with FH and I just wouldn't do it because my love for FH was and is so great. He has since moved on as well and when I first heard I was also a bit jealous and sad.