my mom always told me you know who your real friends are when you graduate H.S & when you get married.. and told me i should just have family in the BP but noooooooooooooooo I don't listen
well they were my friends after H.S but now they drifted away from me so much they hang out -don't call . never include me in things any more. My mom tells me they can be jealous that i am getting married and they do not have that yet.. but we are friends why would they be like that ..
now its like if thry were my true friends wouldnt they call me to hang out and do things, like for exp. my friend got dog on sat and all of the girls went to go see the dog at her house.. i didnt even know she had a dog didnt even know they went there. and they tell me oh we 4got ..
now i am in the process of ordering the bm dresses and they wanted to be involved now i want to order them and just tell them oooooo i 4got to tell you i was going to look at bm dresses lol..
i really did not think my best friends would be like this.. its like i am a outcast just cause im getting married.. just because i am getting married does not mean i cant hang out and do things. ok granted i can not do most of the things they do anymore like go on vacation and go away every weekend because i have to save for a wedding. but come on now
did this happen to anyone else.. i have other friends lol but these 2 im talking about are in my bp and i have known them for over 13 years
Dom n Nic
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sorry for the long vent lol but thanks for listening anyway
jantany26
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Re: i should have listened to my mom!!!!!!!!!!
Unfortunately, some people are jealous or they are simply in another stage in their lifes and they can relate to you at all. I know this because it has happened to me. I'm pretty sure though your true friends will be there for you through thick and thin.
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: i should have listened to my mom!!!!!!!!!!
sounds like some old fashioned jealousy to me. I could be wrong though.
In any case, good luck!
csorisi
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Re: i should have listened to my mom!!!!!!!!!!
Well your mom is right...I haven't talked to one of my friends in 3 months who out of blue called me & told me that she no longer wanted to be in my BP b/c she thought I was spending more time with someone else that I would rather ask. Needless to say there were other issues and we haven't talked in 3 months--sometimes peopel get jealous and they can't deal--maybe you should ask your friends if they still want to be in it....b/c if you dont' confront it now it may be worse later.
Gonnacatchapeacock
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troutster
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Did you try talking to about how you feel? I think that is your best bet. I'm sorry you have to go through this. It seems like people really find out who their true friends are when they are planning their wedding. Talk to them and explain how you feel. Good luck
Dom n Nic
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i have confronted them about it several times about not calling me to do things, or if i call them they dont call me back for 3days. but they say they are sorry and do it all over again...so how many times can i say something without looking like a 5 year old ' oh you guys dont call me and you guys never return my calls' it sounds babyish you know..
May05Bride
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Re: i should have listened to my mom!!!!!!!!!!
Honestly, I went through the same things with friends (minus them being in my BP). Sometimes people are jellous, but sometimes, people are just in a different stage of their lives and don't find much in common. It seems like your girlfriends are still in the 'dating' having fun phase, while you are in a more serious getting married phase. It may be that you just have less in common now, and that is why they are leaving you out.
Sorry, but you really do find out who your true friends are in tough situations like this!
gNi1125
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Posted by Dom n Nic
i have confronted them about it several times about not calling me to do things, or if i call them they dont call me back for 3days. but they say they are sorry and do it all over again...so how many times can i say something without looking like a 5 year old ' oh you guys dont call me and you guys never return my calls' it sounds babyish you know..
IMO you shouldn't have to try this hard to keep in contact with your friends. Sounds like they want to do their own thing. Could very well be the jealousy factor some of the other girls mentioned.
BTW: Moms are usually right
KimmyKim7481
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AWWW Nicky I still love you and would never do that to you being that I see you every freakin weekend LOL but I do have an idea who you are taking about....HMMM LOL
Sunshine128
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I honestly dont think its jealousy, I think that you are just in a different phase and they can't relate. Maybe they just assume that you wont do something or are too busy w/ your FH to do something w/ them so they dont bother to ask. They are definitely in the wrong, but if you are really hurt and they are truly your friends then you should be able to tell them how your feeling and if they just blow you off, then that should really tell you something. Everyone goes through fazes in life... all relationships, not just male and female, go through lows and highs, ups and downs... often time everyday life can get in the way... BUT what it comes down to is when push comes to shove are these people there for you? If you cant say yes or if you dont want them to be, then you should really think about keeping your distance. It stinks that you are going through this during your wedding, which is stressful as it is!! Good luck!
Angeltptb
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Re: i should have listened to my mom!!!!!!!!!!
In my experience, sometimes friends drift apart during certain times when you are not at the same point in your lives. Then, the ones who are true friends will eventually come back. Unfortunatly, they may not be there during the times you need them most. Its not easy, I have been through it, and probably at some point have done it to others. There is nothing you can do except lean on the people who are there for you now. I hope it all works out for you.
rafiki
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also if you are the first one of your friends to get married, they may not realize you can and still want to do things with them. my group of friends was 24 when the first one of us got engaged and it was unchartered territory. after she got engaged we wouldn't ask her to come out on the weekends b/c we just didn't think she would be into it. after a few times, i asked her if it bothered her, thankfully it didn't, but i wasn't sure. i would flat out tell them you still want to hang out with them and if they continue to ignore you or not call, then you may have to throw in the towel.
there are times in life when people are in completely different stages and can't relate to one another. i'm sure once the next gal gets engaged, she'll want to talk to you more. i know it stinks.
Mystere
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Re: i should have listened to my mom!!!!!!!!!!
Its sad but true - luckily I didn't invite friends in my BP but I have had similar experiences, especially with guy friends. My guy friends I have always thought of as just friends pretty much totally stopped hanging out with me after i got engaged - i guess what i thought was just friends they thought was an option for more. There have been a couple girls who have done the same thing and are blatantly jealous. I'm sorry you have to go through that! They arent worth it!!
BriBri529
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Re: i should have listened to my mom!!!!!!!!!!
This happened to me when my FH and I got serious . . . I am not friends with even one of them anymore.
amazon_gracie
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Re: i should have listened to my mom!!!!!!!!!!
I agree with the other ladies... that it could be a different phase thing. You're at a different point in your life so they're probably having a difficult time trying to relate to you (with a little jealousy thrown in there). They could be making assumptions about your scheule, interests, and how you want to spend your time. Maybe you should have a heart to heart.
Hang in there!
conigs25
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Re: i should have listened to my mom!!!!!!!!!!
YOu def. need to sit down and have a talk w/ them. This happened to me RIGHT AFTER i got engaged. i have a friend who is DYING to get engaged and i sensed her totally pull away from me when i did. It ruined my entire 'engagement weekedn'. I couldnt stop thinking about her and how afriad i was that i was going to lose her as a friend bc im engaged. So... I picked up the phone and i laid it all on the line. Turns out, she felt better too by getting her feelings out in the open. She admitted to being jealous and i actually 'counseled' her on how to deal w/ my engagemt. Things are WAY better now.
Dom n Nic
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Posted by KimmyKim7481
AWWW Nicky I still love you and would never do that to you being that I see you every freakin weekend LOL but I do have an idea who you are taking about....HMMM LOL
geee what gave it away lolol at least i have a real friend in the bp lol
buggiegirl
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Re: i should have listened to my mom!!!!!!!!!!
awww- sorry your friends are being not so nice
i have been having a similar situation- and have realized that sometimes you just outgrow your friends. sad but true.
IMO, I have been in weddings when i was single and lonely and etc. but I still gave 100% because it is about being there for the bride. There is no excuse for being a bad friend.
