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I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Original post by beachbum05

***UPDATE (6/9/08)***

I have the dress. Thank you ladies for all trying to help me out. You were all so kind and generous.

But naturally, the story doesn't end there.



When I went to try on the dress I discovered that the friggen shoulder piece wasn't there. (I have a shoulder piece that snaps in/out of my dress - hard to explain - see album).

So I called the DIL who I had been dealing with and she sounded ticked at me. I said I was driving back to NYC (from E. Hampton) and would be passing by Blue Point (where she is) in about an hour. Could I drop in then and pick it up? She reluctantly said yes.

My BM was visiting me for the weekend and we went together to pick up the shoulder piece. I told her to come in with me because I got such an uncomfortable vibe on the phone. When we got there the DIL's husband answered the door and said 'How are you paying for these services???' No 'hello...I'm sorry you had to come back again.' He was just rude and spoke in a pissed off tone. Now, I get that it was his mother, and he's devistated, but he was so effing rude it was ridiculous and completely unprofessional. I had a checkbook in the car, but I really didn't want to be put in the position to write out a check in front of him. So I told him that my FH was writing out the check and sending it. He got annoyed and asked who the check was going to be made out to. I told him that FH was writing the check to 'The Estate of Madeline....' He threw up his hands and said 'Young lady (yup, he actually said it - in a condescending tone), that isn't going to work at all.' In a huff he got up and paced around. He then asked me who told me to write the check that way and I said that I was just told by my family to do so (I was told to do so in case the family was going through a financial battle with the estate, etc.). He got super pissed and told me to write the check to HIM or to CASH and send it to his house (not his mom's house - as originally planned).

I was SO upset when we left. I felt RAILROADED and completely uncomfortable. The man was awful. Again, I know people handle death in different ways...but I just got such an awful feeling from the whole thing. Almost like he was planning on keeping the money himself. I dunno. It was just really really weird, and put me in such an awkward position.

Who the helll knows what money issues the family could be going through. For all I know they could be at war with each other. As much as the situation was terrible, this was a simple business transaction (on my end). I didn't want to get personally involved with any of this. I just wanted my dress and I wanted to pay for the work that was done.

Now I need advice. What do I do about the check? Who do I write it out to? I sincerely do NOT feel comfortable writing the check to cash or to this man who I don't know. I want to make sure that I do the right thing and pay for the work she did (which by the way, the dress fits and looks fantastic!).

Maybe I'm just being ridiculous and writing the check to 'cash' is ok???

What do you ladies think?

______________________________________



Some of you may have remembered my previous post about this...

Well, my seamstress passed away yesterday. I feel terrible. The family is so upset.

I originally had someone going to pick it up either today or tomorrow...but now with the wake and funeral the daughter-in-law said that I can't go and get it until Saturday morning. But I can't go Sat morning because my BFF is coming into Penn Station at noon...and the DIL said that no one can get it to me after 12 pm...

I'm just really upset. I feel really selfish because its a really horrible thing that happened. My heart breaks for the family...but at the same time, I'm going into panic mode because I don't have my dress, I haven't tried it on at all, there are probably a bunch of alterations to be made (including a bustle), and I have only 16 days left. I really hope someone will be able to work on it for me with such a shoirt window.



Anyone want to pick my dress up on Sat morning for me? :
beachbum05 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Jess! Thank you so much - and same to everyone else. You are all so wonderful in your advice.

I know in retrospect its a small amount of money...and normally I adopt the 'Eh - whatever. Send a check, be done with it' mindset. But I'm just stuck because I want to do the right thing and I don't want to get scrizz-ooed.
BNBride60 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Posted by beachbum05

Jess! Thank you so much - and same to everyone else. You are all so wonderful in your advice.

I know in retrospect its a small amount of money...and normally I adopt the 'Eh - whatever. Send a check, be done with it' mindset. But I'm just stuck because I want to do the right thing and I don't want to get scrizz-ooed.


I sent you another FM - one other way to protect yourself.
GinaBambina08 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Ohhh boyyy...i'm so sorry you're going through this...this is just really a tough and awkward situation..

beachbum05 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

So is the overall consensus that I shouldn't write it out to cash?



xXxNovember08xXx Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

im sorry bon.. i really dont have advice but i wanted to send my huggs.
missliss Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Posted by beachbum05

So is the overall consensus that I shouldn't write it out to cash?





I don't think you should write it out to cash. I would write it out to the seamstress and let her accountant/lawyer or whoever is handling her financial affairs take care of it. If the family is going through any sort of financial issue with her estate, there has to be some lawyer taking care of things.

And I'm sooooooo happy you got your dress. Such a weight off your back.
AMGBride2008 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Posted by beachbum05

So is the overall consensus that I shouldn't write it out to cash?






I wouldn't. And either way, demand a receipt.

Bon, IF you decide to make it out to 'cash', write a note in the memo 'To the estate of NAME'. That way there is something on there stating what it was for.
beachbum05 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

I hate this shizzle.

I just want to be done with it.
TrueLoveIn2008 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Posted by beachbum05

I hate this shizzle.

I just want to be done with it.




Can you write it out to the seamstress and include a note saying 'this is what your wife told me to do' ??? That way he can take it up with her? Not that you want to cause issues there, either, but it's not your problem at that point.

Otherwise - can you send it to the wife? I know they live at the same place (assumingly) but if you address the envelope to her, you're doing exactly what she said and maybe she will send you the receipt? Even though she wasn't the kindest person around either, it sounds like she may have a little more understanding of what YOU are going though and what your needs are.
futuremrsfab Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Posted by missliss

Posted by beachbum05

So is the overall consensus that I shouldn't write it out to cash?





I don't think you should write it out to cash. I would write it out to the seamstress and let her accountant/lawyer or whoever is handling her financial affairs take care of it. If the family is going through any sort of financial issue with her estate, there has to be some lawyer taking care of things.

And I'm sooooooo happy you got your dress. Such a weight off your back.


Yea I totally agree & thank god it fits!
LoriBeth2728 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

I would just write it out to her name. She's the one who did the work, so the money should go to her estate, and yeah, she DOES have an estate. Like you said, you just want your dress, so don't do anything that will get you mixed up in personal stuff.

Don't do cash, even w/a receipt, this guy might try to screw you. I wouldn't do his name - even if you do get a receipt, he'll take the money, you know it. He didn't earn it... let it go to who earned it and let the lawyer figure out the rest.

Good luck.
FinallyEngaged Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

First off... GREAT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DRESS

Secondly, I would write the check out to the seamstress, or to the estate of. do not get yourself involved in that, like u said, who knows what is going on financially. let the family and lawyers work that stuff out.
MikeandJess Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

What a major headache. So sorry you have to deal with this bon This man definitely sounds shady, I would not write the check out to him. I would write it out to the estate of (enter your seamstress's name here).
Toucan311 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Make the check out to him - you just want this to be over and done with - but I'd send it certified mail so that he has to sign for it, just in case you ever needed PROOF, you'd have the return reciept AND a copy of your check.

Mici n KC Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

I would do it to the Estate since that is what you were originally told to do.

kslmbuggie Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

i'm glad you finally got your dress back!!!

DO NOT right the check out to him, or to cash. Make it out to the seamstress's name. they may not have an account set up for the estate yet, but if she has a personal checking her executor should be able to deposit it.

Mrs. V 2008 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

i'm glad to hear you got your dress back..I would write a check to the estate..as the rest of the ladies said..something doesn't seem right to me with that guy

GinaZ Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

I think you should still write it out to her estate. And just mail it to the daughter in law. It sounds like she was the one taking charge of being the contact for the seamstress clients. Im sorry for their loss and that you are in an uncomfortable situation!

Kerin2804 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

I would write out the check the seamstress directly - there may not be an estate account set up as of yet. Do not make the check payable to the son or to cash - better yet - get a us postal money order and send that to them - leave your personal banking info out of it. I am very happy that you have your dress now

TrueLoveIn2008 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Posted by Kerin2804

I would write out the check the seamstress directly - there may not be an estate account set up as of yet. Do not make the check payable to the son or to cash - better yet - get a us postal money order and send that to them - leave your personal banking info out of it. I am very happy that you have your dress now


This is a good idea - get a cashier's check or a money order. If you are at all concerned with the son's accounting practices, this will stop him from doing ANYTHING with your banking information.

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