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I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Original post by beachbum05

***UPDATE (6/9/08)***

I have the dress. Thank you ladies for all trying to help me out. You were all so kind and generous.

But naturally, the story doesn't end there.



When I went to try on the dress I discovered that the friggen shoulder piece wasn't there. (I have a shoulder piece that snaps in/out of my dress - hard to explain - see album).

So I called the DIL who I had been dealing with and she sounded ticked at me. I said I was driving back to NYC (from E. Hampton) and would be passing by Blue Point (where she is) in about an hour. Could I drop in then and pick it up? She reluctantly said yes.

My BM was visiting me for the weekend and we went together to pick up the shoulder piece. I told her to come in with me because I got such an uncomfortable vibe on the phone. When we got there the DIL's husband answered the door and said 'How are you paying for these services???' No 'hello...I'm sorry you had to come back again.' He was just rude and spoke in a pissed off tone. Now, I get that it was his mother, and he's devistated, but he was so effing rude it was ridiculous and completely unprofessional. I had a checkbook in the car, but I really didn't want to be put in the position to write out a check in front of him. So I told him that my FH was writing out the check and sending it. He got annoyed and asked who the check was going to be made out to. I told him that FH was writing the check to 'The Estate of Madeline....' He threw up his hands and said 'Young lady (yup, he actually said it - in a condescending tone), that isn't going to work at all.' In a huff he got up and paced around. He then asked me who told me to write the check that way and I said that I was just told by my family to do so (I was told to do so in case the family was going through a financial battle with the estate, etc.). He got super pissed and told me to write the check to HIM or to CASH and send it to his house (not his mom's house - as originally planned).

I was SO upset when we left. I felt RAILROADED and completely uncomfortable. The man was awful. Again, I know people handle death in different ways...but I just got such an awful feeling from the whole thing. Almost like he was planning on keeping the money himself. I dunno. It was just really really weird, and put me in such an awkward position.

Who the helll knows what money issues the family could be going through. For all I know they could be at war with each other. As much as the situation was terrible, this was a simple business transaction (on my end). I didn't want to get personally involved with any of this. I just wanted my dress and I wanted to pay for the work that was done.

Now I need advice. What do I do about the check? Who do I write it out to? I sincerely do NOT feel comfortable writing the check to cash or to this man who I don't know. I want to make sure that I do the right thing and pay for the work she did (which by the way, the dress fits and looks fantastic!).

Maybe I'm just being ridiculous and writing the check to 'cash' is ok???

What do you ladies think?

______________________________________



Some of you may have remembered my previous post about this...

Well, my seamstress passed away yesterday. I feel terrible. The family is so upset.

I originally had someone going to pick it up either today or tomorrow...but now with the wake and funeral the daughter-in-law said that I can't go and get it until Saturday morning. But I can't go Sat morning because my BFF is coming into Penn Station at noon...and the DIL said that no one can get it to me after 12 pm...

I'm just really upset. I feel really selfish because its a really horrible thing that happened. My heart breaks for the family...but at the same time, I'm going into panic mode because I don't have my dress, I haven't tried it on at all, there are probably a bunch of alterations to be made (including a bustle), and I have only 16 days left. I really hope someone will be able to work on it for me with such a shoirt window.



Anyone want to pick my dress up on Sat morning for me? :
beachbum05 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go...

Posted by kslmbuggie

is it @ the seamstresses house & no one lived there but her? if so i can see how the DIL is trying to make time to give it to you, but if there are other people that lived there then they really have no excuse.

you have to tell them you are extremely sorry for their loss, but my wedding is in 16 days and i have to pick up my dress asap & that means b4 saturday. i can understand they are grieving, but they have to understand your side as well.

i wonder if they are holding any other dresses hostage also. they really should have contact all of her customers, & arranged for the items to be picked up immediately.


The woman lived with her brother. The first time I went to get the dress (and no one was there when I arrived) I was told that a brother, sister, or someone would be around to give me the dress. This was 2 (I think) weeks ago. Apparently a lot of their family lives in the area.

And I know at least one person's dress that is still there. I was the one who let that person know. From what I understand she was working on a lot of different things. I don't believe they've contacted any of those people yet. I know they were planning on it. I just hope no one else was in a time crunch.
Gigi08 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go...

I don't remember your previous post. You say you never even tried it on yet? Do you feel like your weight has fluctuated since you were measured? You may not really need any alterations. I'm sure someone on here can recommend a seamstress for you, too. The bustle shouldn't be that difficult. You will work it out...
MrsHtobe Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go...

Posted by NapaValleyGirl

Bonnie.

Messenger service. Do it. It's worth the extra $$$.


Thats what I was thinking too. . .
Princess Cut Bride Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go...

It's a very tough situation Bonnie! Don't feel like your being selfish...you feel bad but it's your wedding dress! Anyone of us would feel the same way!

I hope one of your bms can pick it up for!

****Fingers crossed!****
beachbum05 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go...

Ladies - seriously, you guys all are fantastic.

I appreciate all of the FMs and posts for help!!!

Like I said, I'm going to pray one of my BMs can get it on Saturday morning. If it doesn't pan out, I will let you guys know.

Seriously - thank you, thank you, thank you!~
LeeLee111 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go...

OMG I'm so sorry, its not selfish. Let us know what happens.

AMGBride2008 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go...

You know I'm on call for you Saturday morning if you need me. ****** situation


PS... I have someone right now putting feelers out there for local (NYC) seamstresses for you so you don't have to do more back and forth.
Jenn04 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go...

AWw I am so sorry! I feel your pain!

Also my seamstress does at home alterations if you want her number I can get it for you!!!!
kslmbuggie Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go...

Posted by beachbum05
The woman lived with her brother. The first time I went to get the dress (and no one was there when I arrived) I was told that a brother, sister, or someone would be around to give me the dress. This was 2 (I think) weeks ago. Apparently a lot of their family lives in the area.

And I know at least one person's dress that is still there. I was the one who let that person know. From what I understand she was working on a lot of different things. I don't believe they've contacted any of those people yet. I know they were planning on it. I just hope no one else was in a time crunch.


this is really ridiculous at this point. If you were there 2 weeks ago & they knew you were coming they should have been there, & they def should have arranged a time sooner than this saturday for you to pick up the dress.

i know it s u c k s, but if you cant get it on saturday i would contact the police and have them contact her to return the dress to you, at this point you really dont have any other choice. Even if you hired a service to pick up the dress & bring it to you, someone from their family would have to be there to give the dress to them.
florezpeeps Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go...

aww babe, this situation is so hard, i hope someone can help you get it in time & if you need a seamstress reffered for alterations let us know
beachbum05 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

bumped for update/advice.

jessamyn78 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Bonnie I can't believe you are going through this!!! I think you should write the check to the estate and be done with it. That guy sounds like a real DB.

beachbum05 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Posted by jessamyn78

Bonnie I can't believe you are going through this!!! I think you should write the check to the estate and be done with it. That guy sounds like a real DB.


He made me feel like such an azz for even SUGGESTING that!!!

He said that there 'is no estate'



Is that even possible? I mean, when my dad passed he CERTAINLY didn't have much, but it was his 'estate.' Doesn't every person have an 'estate?' Isn't that what they call all of your possessions after you pass on?
ldrenckhahn Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

I think that you should make it out to the woman's name...not necessarily 'the estate of'. This way you're not being condescending or sneaky, but just going off of what you were originally planning on doing. This way you know that he or anyone else cannot go and deposit it in their own account. I'm sure her accountant will take care of everything from there! HTH and I'm glad that you got your dress!
Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

hey bon bon

well, i am glad you got your dress and it fits perfectly!!!

if i were you, i would just write it to cash and be done with them - it's not worth getting upset - you have the dress so at this point i'd just let it go

HTH
jessamyn78 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Posted by beachbum05

Posted by jessamyn78

Bonnie I can't believe you are going through this!!! I think you should write the check to the estate and be done with it. That guy sounds like a real DB.


He made me feel like such an azz for even SUGGESTING that!!!

He said that there 'is no estate'



Is that even possible? I mean, when my dad passed he CERTAINLY didn't have much, but it was his 'estate.' Doesn't every person have an 'estate?' Isn't that what they call all of your possessions after you pass on?


Do you have another contact besides that guy?
beachbum05 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Posted by Snowflake08

hey bon bon

well, i am glad you got your dress and it fits perfectly!!!

if i were you, i would just write it to cash and be done with them - it's not worth getting upset - you have the dress so at this point i'd just let it go

HTH


Here's my only issue with that. And again, maybe I'm just being ridiculous... but when it's written out to 'cash,' where is the proof that I paid for the services rendered? Does that make sense? Meaning, how can I prove that I paid for the alterations on the dress? I have ZERO paperwork. No receipt. Nothing. If I wrote it in her name, couldn't I then argue that when it was cashed, it served as my proof?

Again, I know its a stretch and they probably wouldn't be so vindictive...but I really feel uncomfortable sending this guy ANY money.
beachbum05 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Posted by jessamyn78

Posted by beachbum05

Posted by jessamyn78

Bonnie I can't believe you are going through this!!! I think you should write the check to the estate and be done with it. That guy sounds like a real DB.


He made me feel like such an azz for even SUGGESTING that!!!

He said that there 'is no estate'



Is that even possible? I mean, when my dad passed he CERTAINLY didn't have much, but it was his 'estate.' Doesn't every person have an 'estate?' Isn't that what they call all of your possessions after you pass on?


Do you have another contact besides that guy?


Just his wife....And she was the one who told me to write it out in the seamstresses name...
anneandchris Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Posted by beachbum05

Posted by Snowflake08

hey bon bon

well, i am glad you got your dress and it fits perfectly!!!

if i were you, i would just write it to cash and be done with them - it's not worth getting upset - you have the dress so at this point i'd just let it go

HTH


Here's my only issue with that. And again, maybe I'm just being ridiculous... but when it's written out to 'cash,' where is the proof that I paid for the services rendered? Does that make sense? Meaning, how can I prove that I paid for the alterations on the dress? I have ZERO paperwork. No receipt. Nothing. If I wrote it in her name, couldn't I then argue that when it was cashed, it served as my proof?

Again, I know its a stretch and they probably wouldn't be so vindictive...but I really feel uncomfortable sending this guy ANY money.


I see both sides on this. If you wrote it out to him, I would include a 'receipt' that he would need to sign and return. In addition I would make a note in the memo section of the check. I would NOT write it out to cash.
BNBride60 Posted:

Re: I still don't have my dress - 16 days to go... ****UPDATE****

Posted by beachbum05

Posted by Snowflake08

hey bon bon

well, i am glad you got your dress and it fits perfectly!!!

if i were you, i would just write it to cash and be done with them - it's not worth getting upset - you have the dress so at this point i'd just let it go

HTH


Here's my only issue with that. And again, maybe I'm just being ridiculous... but when it's written out to 'cash,' where is the proof that I paid for the services rendered? Does that make sense? Meaning, how can I prove that I paid for the alterations on the dress? I have ZERO paperwork. No receipt. Nothing. If I wrote it in her name, couldn't I then argue that when it was cashed, it served as my proof?

Again, I know its a stretch and they probably wouldn't be so vindictive...but I really feel uncomfortable sending this guy ANY money.


Bon Bon - I've spent the last year working in the trusts and estates department of a law firm and that is my intended practice area - YOU HAVE FM.

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