I swore I wouldn't post this...

MarryingMyBFF1110 Posted: Mar 13, 2011 10:44 AM

I swore I wouldn't post this...

leesah85 Posted: Mar 13, 2011 10:51 AM

Re: I swore I wouldn't post this...

i'm sending you non-denominational prayers

listen, just explain to your parents that it is really important to your FH and his family that this pre-ceremony is done. i'm sure if you explain that to them that this is part of their culture, they will be receptive to it. and i'm sure they are going to want to come. you're their daughter, so they are going to support you no matter what decision you make in life - they might not like the decisions you make all the time, but at the end of the day, they shouldn't be excluded from this other ceremony either, despite feeling awkward.

what is the other ceremony for anyway? is it a cultural thing? if both your families are jewish, im sure that your parents are aware of this other type of ceremony anyway.

HTH

MarryingMyBFF1110 Posted: Mar 13, 2011 10:52 AM

Re: I swore I wouldn't post this...

FH's ceremony is a Hindu ceremony, my parents are Jewish

I know our plan sounds so logical, but we are talking about illogical people

Thanks for the good thoughts, I need them! I'm in total freak out mode.

spdy540 Posted: Mar 13, 2011 10:53 AM

Re: I swore I wouldn't post this...

Thats a tough situation but you really have to do what's best for you and fh. I hope all works out I'm catholic and fh is Jewish and we are getting married in a catholic church because that's what we decided. You tow have to figure out what's important to you if it was the non religious ceremony then you should have stuck with it. You cant make everyone happy

jgold910 Posted: Mar 13, 2011 10:57 AM

Re: I swore I wouldn't post this...

I have a similar situation - FH is catholic and I'm Jewish - we just happend to find a married interfaith couple to marry us to make both sides happy....She's a Cantor and he's a Reverend - it makes it nice b/c of there relationship....maybe you can somehow combine your traditions? FH is very understanding of my traditions...he will be signing a Ketubah, breaking the glass - doing the 7 prayers etc

MarryingMyBFF1110 Posted: Mar 13, 2011 11:02 AM

Re: I swore I wouldn't post this...

sjr385 Posted: Mar 13, 2011 11:19 AM

.

MarryingMyBFF1110 Posted: Mar 13, 2011 11:29 AM

Re: I swore I wouldn't post this...

sjr385

Brilliant idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are signing and making everything official in November. So what you said makes perfect sense = it takes the sting off it too. Thanks!

mtk1605 Posted: Mar 13, 2011 11:36 AM

Re: I swore I wouldn't post this...

Girl we are here for you! Good luck and just be calm. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best!

jovigirl414 Posted: Mar 13, 2011 11:38 AM

Re: I swore I wouldn't post this...

Posted by sjr385

Good luck!

I think telling your family is the right thing to do, especially if you're appeasing them by making the 'real' wedding a full Jewish one. You can stress that fact.

When are you signing paperwork and making everything legal? At the 'real' one? If so, maybe don't call the Hindu one a 'wedding' when you tell your parents. Call it a ceremony to celebrate/bless of your future marriage.

This could totally work!! Good luck with it!

IrishAli Posted: Mar 13, 2011 11:49 AM

Re: I swore I wouldn't post this...

If the paper says November, than that is the real one!

And what I don't understand is that if they were pushing the Jewish ceremony on you because it is important to them, how could they not understand the other side- that the Hindu faith is important to your FH and his family?

I think they should be able to understand that it is his grandmother's dying wish and you both agreed to honor that side of your relationship through this ceremony

MarryingMyBFF1110 Posted: Mar 13, 2011 05:57 PM

Re: I swore I wouldn't post this...

Thanks ladies for the support. I'm telling my dad tomorrow morning, so we'll see what happens. So nervous!

Chanwich Posted: Mar 13, 2011 06:02 PM

Re: I swore I wouldn't post this...

That really stinks that you even have to worry about it, I really hope your parents accept it all and realize that its important to you and your FH to honor both heritages

edited cuz i hit the button before I was finished typing

rendel Posted: Mar 13, 2011 06:17 PM

Re: I swore I wouldn't post this...

please do what makes you and FH happy!!!!!! Both ceremonies should 'count' and your parents need to understand that!!!! What you could say is that both you and FH respect your religons on such a high level that you wish to represent both equally by having 2 separate ceremonies. I know how you feel my Fhs family is also hindu and I'm catholic. It did upset my mother that I wasn't walking down an aisle in church, but in the end we have incorporated everyones religion and culture into our ceremony and it will be beautiful!!!!!! Good luck!!!!! If you need anything you can FM me!!!!!

LKatz1029 Posted: Mar 13, 2011 08:42 PM

Re: I swore I wouldn't post this...

Good luck my twin!!!!! Let me know how it goes! Dont worry, you've been together this long so it is accepted (although it may not be their favorite thing to discuss)... you will be fine (even if dad is mad.... he will get over it I'm SURE!!!!!)

Good luckkkkkkk!!