I think I am going to have to call off my wedding... kind of long

I am so sick over this I was just literally fighgting off an anxiety attack.

Everytime I think about our wedding and how we are going to pay for it I just want to cry.

Here's the situation: FH is miserable at his job; he works in a warehouse at a brick and tile showroom. It's in the Hamptons, so during the summer the commute is anywhere from 1-2 hours each way. He is trying to start his own business, selling collectible toys on the secondary market, on the weekends he does some shows, and he has a couple of things on eBay right now. The problem is, he's not making the money he told me he would be.

Originally, we had planned on using our tax return, which would easily have paid for the whole wedding. Unfortunately, the $100 here and $500 there that he was going to 'put back next week' never got put back and now we are down to a zero balance in our savings account. He cannot handle being home with the three kids by himself, and now that the 2 YO has been diagnosed with ASD, it's even more imperative that I be home. Hence, I am not going back to work, and therefore, I cannot replace the money he spends.

I don't know what to do. I have tried talking to him about it and he cries and tells me he knows, but he needs the 'stock' for his business. I undert=stand and am trying really really hard to be supportive of him. And if we weren't planning this wedding, I would not care what he did with the money he earned from his job.

Right now I am just so upset and discouraged. How can a man with 3 children think that buying diapers every week and paying half the rent every month is supporting his family? I have to pick up the slack for eveyrthing else, and like I said, I wouldn't mind IF we didn't have to pay for this wedding.

Thanks for listening to me vent. I gotta post this before he gets out of the shower....