I THINK IT WILL BE OKAY!!! Problems... How much did you....

Original post by jill13bean

Apr 24, 2004 05:56 PM

How much were the bridesmaid dresses your girls are wearing cost???? before alterations

Boop2704 Posted: Apr 24, 2004 10:08 PM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

Posted by september2004

Posted by Boop2704

Maybe you could offer to pay for some of it and it will be her gift for being in the wedding. Some people are just cheap!!! Tell her this is the dress, buy or or she can't be in the wedding!!

i am not cheap and as a BM would make a 'stink' about a $252 dress pre-alterations - but your suggestion for jill13bean to offer to pay for some of it i think is a good one...

I didn't mean it like you took it. I meant for a girl that is teaching, making good money and living with her parents and she said she spends money on anything, I think she is being cheap. Its a dress that she said is re-usable, and the girl accepted to be in the wedding, so if noone else has a problem she shouldn't. I spent $300 on a dress for my friends wedding, I hated the dress, but I accepted to be in her wedding, so I paid. It was a whole paycheck on that dress with alterations and accesories, but I shut my mouth and did it.

Boop2704 Posted: Apr 24, 2004 10:10 PM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

I'm glad everything is working out for you!!

sophie78 Posted: Apr 25, 2004 09:30 AM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

You could also tell her that she doesn't have to give you a wedding gift.

aliciahelene Posted: Apr 25, 2004 10:21 AM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

I hope you are able to work things out!!! My sisters picked out their own dresses, one paid over 400 for her dress because it wsa matarnity and the other dress I think was 300..I told them to get whatever they wanted..
my thought is this: its your wedding, even if money is tight..they should not bring up the issue of money, if she couldnt afford to be a BM, she could have explained that in the beginning, when i was a MOH..I was working, going to school and didnt have two pennies to rub together, but I stayed in on weekends and SAVED so that I could buy whatever was needed of me, thats what you do for friends..after that wedding, I was offialliy broke and another friend asked me to be in her wedding and I had to decline because I could hardly pay my bills....Im sharing this because I honestly dont see why people complain about the cost of the dress. I hope you are able to straighten this all out!

jill13bean Posted: Apr 25, 2004 10:40 AM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

Thanks so much ladies...... i really hope things work out... i do not want to lose a life long friendship over a dress
we have just been on the outs lately and i don't think that helped... but EXACTLY.. you don't complain about $$$ when you are in a Bridal party
i would never because it isn't like everyday one of your closest friends gets married

Sweetpea Posted: Apr 25, 2004 10:47 AM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

My bridesmaid dresses are 159 before alterations. They are strapless mori lee dresses.

myasmom Posted: Apr 25, 2004 11:10 AM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

I guess I am in the minority here

But I dont beleive that just because you are in a bridal party you just have to shell out $$ even if it puts you in hardship..Life is way bigger than my wedding and i would hate to think that one of my BMs spent every last dime and almost couldnt pay for her tuition...(yes I had this situation and I didnt get upset until after she told me how much she wanted to be in the wedding and sacrificed so much...I felt bad and still do..I would have helped more.

However if the person has the means and bitches about $$ then thats a different story..If someone has teh cash and still complains I would question our friendship.

MrHostility Posted: Apr 25, 2004 11:37 AM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

Maybe she really can't afford it? You say it could be worn again, but is it her style, and would she?

I guess as a BM you commit to certain things, but $250 sounds pricey. You mentioned another BM helping to pay for it, but that just might make her feel like crap accepting money from someone else like a charity case.

Good luck, hope you don't lose your friend over this.

jill13bean Posted: Apr 25, 2004 11:39 AM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

well, this other BM is pissed off because she feels the same way i do....so she said i will pay for the ******* dress
i would offer to pay some if she needed it but she doesn't that is why i was so upset
she can afford it she lives home with mom and dad and is a teacher
she goes shopping all of the time... buys expensive pocketbooks and goes to the city every other weekend

JimmysBride Posted: Apr 25, 2004 11:51 AM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

My BMs are paying $275 before alterations, shoes, hair, & makeup... (the MOHs gown is $300) not to mention whatever their shower & BP contributions might be. They all know the expenses of being in a wedding party and knew what they were getting into when they accepted. Nevertheless, $275 was more than I ever wanted them to spend but they all agreed on this dress so they are fine with it. I've definitely paid as much in other BPs I've been in.

butterfly20 Posted: Apr 25, 2004 12:34 PM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

mine are under $50... before alterations... i bought them, and the necklaces for them

jill13bean Posted: Apr 25, 2004 12:39 PM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

Posted by myasmom

I guess I am in the minority here

But I dont beleive that just because you are in a bridal party you just have to shell out $$ even if it puts you in hardship..Life is way bigger than my wedding and i would hate to think that one of my BMs spent every last dime and almost couldnt pay for her tuition...(yes I had this situation and I didnt get upset until after she told me how much she wanted to be in the wedding and sacrificed so much...I felt bad and still do..I would have helped more.
.

i completely agree and that is why they are not ebing asked to pay $$$ for the shower but this is the dress and only 1 girl had the problem

Sassyz75 Posted: Apr 25, 2004 01:14 PM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

$180

mosh913 Posted: Apr 25, 2004 01:40 PM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

$160

FrescaBride Posted: Apr 25, 2004 02:13 PM

Re: I am so UPSET!!! Problems... How much did you....

Posted by myasmom

I guess I am in the minority here

But I dont beleive that just because you are in a bridal party you just have to shell out $$ even if it puts you in hardship..Life is way bigger than my wedding and i would hate to think that one of my BMs spent every last dime .

I think it is a little too pricey considering they would still have other expenses such as makeup, hair, shoes, manicure/pedicure, bridal shower, bachelorette party etc...
And I really like what Myasmom said that I quoted because Life is bigger than someone's wedding and I think sometimes we, as brides, get so caught up in the details and the planning that we don't see other's point of view. And you said it is something she can wear again but maybe that's not her taste. When I start on my search for bridesmaids, I'd really try to keep it to a reasonable price. I'm a bridesmaid in September and the dress cost $275.00 with no alterations yet because they added some kind of length as it will look pretty....I thought it looked great as it was but I also thought...why more length...I want to be able to party and dance.....and not worry about some kind of long length behind my dress.....but I didn't let the September Bride know about it because I don't think she needed the extra stress.
So if I were you, I'd not stress about it. And offering the money, I think, it would make her feel worst. You really do not know what goes on in people's lives just by the facade that they present in their every day living. I have friends that drive jaguars, Lexus RX30, lives a rich lifestyle but don't have a penny in the bank and her credit cards are maxed out and then she doesn't even make that much money...If you saw her you'd think she is well to do therefore Looks can be deceiving.....
I think you and her also have other issues hence you said you two have grown apart a bit.....Just try to work things out.....and good luck...JMO

Marisa&Brian Posted: Apr 25, 2004 03:21 PM

Re: I THINK IT WILL BE OKAY!!! Problems... How much did you....

If it is a dress that she can wear again and again - and is not the 'typical' bridesmaid look (which Vera Wang is NOT) - then I don't think $250 is unreasonable for a gown. -

dm24angel Posted: Apr 25, 2004 03:23 PM

Re: I THINK IT WILL BE OKAY!!! Problems... How much did you....

Ours will be about $175 after alterations, and I feel bad about that and have offered to pay part if someone cannot afford it, same goes for hair and make-up..but none of my girls are that finacially well off, all have kids, new houses etc...I think it is all about the finacial situation...the BM's take on a lot in my opinion money wise...BUT if they can afford it, then its really not THAT much over what the typical dress does cost...