I think my mom is Satan

Your mom couldn't possibly be Satan - I'm an only child!!

Seriously though, I don't live with my mother (that's why I still have my sanity) but the DAY before I moved out of her house (9 blissful years ago) she 'kicked' me out. It was downright laughable - you're kicking me out? The movers are coming at 9:00 a.m. and you're kicking me out??? The point is, she didn't know how to let go gracefully, so instead she chose her usual, bull-in-a-china-cabinet method. Within a month she was asking if we could be 'roommates.' it will be one very cold day you know where before that happens...

Its very hard for some parents to sit back and watch their child become an adult, and :gasp: make up their own minds (!) without asking for help. It makes them feel useless. Or old. Now for me, I knew all this but when I was 20, it wasn't good enough and I allowed myself to get angry and would basically waste my own energy thinking about the things she said, rather than the reasons she was saying them. It's taken 9 years for me to be able to sit back and think to myself 'she's saying this because she's feeling xyz - not because she means it.' And I still get angry, I just try not to react. But then I go home to my own apartment and it doesn't matter anymore.

Hope that helps!!!

---

Posted by LovelyL

The truth is, I don't think she can handle the fact of one of her children being totally independent from her!

---

well my mother must be the child even satan disowned because that is who you have just described.............she has issues.............i have come to not even pay attention anymore.........go ahead live your life and enjoy..try not to think about her it will only bring you down....

Just wanted to say, so sorry you have to deal with negative energy. Just try to ignore her.

---

Posted by LovelyL

I feel so childish saying this......but I really can't stand my mother! I honestly feel like she doesn't want me to be happy. We had a big fight tonight. I feel like she totally doesn't have faith in any of my decisions and she thinks I don't know what I'm doing.

---

I'm so sorry for you! I'm going through the same thing! My mom and I really don't talk much anymore. My family members think (in my case) it's resentment - I think its crazy! I hope things get better for you!

Reading these posts...I wonder if there is a such thing as a NORMAL mom who doesn't criticise, push buttons, make snide comments, and make YOU feel like the demon spawn!

Why are so many moms, who are supposed to be the ones who support you, end up being the ones who hurt you the most ?

I had a HUUUUUUUUGE fight with my mom the day I went dress shopping. It was the WORST. She went into hysterics,told me to call 911 cause I was giving her a heart attack, tried to jump out of my car while I was at a red light, and just made such a scene. I calmy pulled over at a supermarket, got a bottled water for her, and called my FI for some moral support...
and after that incident, she's been a LAMB...

point being: these things blow over. Sometimes you HAVE to stand up to your mom so she realizes she CAN'T keep treating you as a child. I think the moms feel useless and abandoned by their child. They get over it....

I completely sympathise, L. The first week of my engagement, my mom started driving me NUTS. She drove me absolutely UP THE WALL! She was angry that we were looking at halls here instead of CT, she was angry that we weren't looking at EVERY hall on LI, she was angry that I wanted a strapless dress (I hadn't gone shopping yet!), she was angry that FH's parents hadn't offered to pay for anything, she was angry angry angry angry. I swear to you, I didn't enjoy the first week of my engagement. It was rather depressing.

One night, my mom just pushed me to the edge. If you saw someone screaming into her cell phone in the parking lot of the Merrick Blockbuster Video the first weekend in September last year, that was me. The next day, Adam and I called my parents, and said STOP. We appreciate your help, we are grateful for your offer of paying for the wedding, but if this doesn't stop, we will postpone the wedding until such time as we can afford to pay for it ourselves (knowing us, that would have taken decades, but we were willing to do it). That was the end of it. My mom apologized, calmed down, and the rest of the ride has been EASY. Oh, and I got a Strapless Gown that she loves!

Im sorry! After I got engaged and me and my mom fought, it seemed worse becuase I am so happy and it was frustrating to be happy and angry at her at the same time. But she has gotten past that phase and now is cool with everything. I hope the same for you too.

Awwww girls! Just hang in there. It will pass (Hopefully). Smile and nod yes. That will work. Good Luck!
We are all going through it.

I guess I've always been the problem. For whatever reason, I think she believes her daughter deserves better than me. I've never been anything but nice to her mother. I guess she has her reasons.

I just wish she could wake up and smell the foul enviornment she is creating between us all. She's making irrepreable hard feelings. I understand it's hard to let your daughter go, but she loves me, no matter how hard she tries to make it otherwise. Your little girl has grown up, like it or not.

I can deal with all this, I just want her to leave L alone. If she has beef with me, say it to my face, and lets get it done with. I just want L to be happy, this is supposed to be a good time in her life.

I can understand what you are feeling. I used to feel that way also. I was enagaged a long time ago and broke it off , before anything was booked, and my dad drove me nuts. I can know understand where parents come from, I am happily enagaged and getting married in 15 days, but my Mom and dad have both passed away. ( I am 32 yrs.old) . They really mean well, it is hard for them and just want the best for the kids. Try to take it with a grain of salt and try to get there opinions even though you do not agree on them all the time, it will make everyone feel better in the long run and she will feel included also. Hope this helps!

Good God, Im getting misty eyed here. Hang in there MrH. Im having problems with my mom too, but it's good to know I can run into my FI's arms. You guys know what's best for each other. Stand Strong!!!!

eek sounds harsh

i think some Moms act this way because they are trying to re-live and go one up on their own weddings....in other words...they are doing the things maybe they did not get to do, etc!

I am sooooooooooooo sorry to hear such things. My mom has been so supportive
I don't know what I'd do if it were any other way.

Yes! Mothers! Fathers! Families!!

I am coming to LI tomorrow for wedding planning (from Cali) and I am not as excited cause I am fearing some big fight like last time I was home.

GOOD LUCK!