Brides Helping Brides ™ - I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

Bebalina Posted: Apr 08, 2005 10:53 PM

I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

I'm so depressed, this wedding is making me miserable! April 6th was our rsvp date...and things aren't looking good...our minimum guarantee is 175, which should have been no problem at all. Well although I'm still missing a few, currently we have a 127 people! I don't understand what happened....originally we had too many and had to cut. Now I feel like if I send it out to the ppl we had to cut after the rsvp date, they'll feel insulted.
What to do?

Then on top of things, and please tell me if I should be upset, but my bridal shower, was this past wknd, and FHs immediate family lives in FL, so they couldn't make it. But for the shower, FH's mom sent us a check and packaged it nicely so I can at least open something from her. Which was great. but then his brother and SIL didnt send us anything for me to open that day, and then yesterday I get a card in the mail with a check for a $100...from his own brother and SIL????????????? I was appalled, other ppl that couldnt make the shower, bought me gifts more expensive then that....I just feel like they don't care, they didn't send that on time, then sent $100, and on top of it SIL isn't coming to the wedding, bc she can't find anyone to babysit her 2 dogs! I just feel like they dont care and that with my rsvps is just depressing me! and then on top of it, there's a possibility within due time, that I may be getting laid off too!

When does it stop? I'm starting to hate weddings!

Mrs_B Posted: Apr 08, 2005 11:00 PM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

Sorry to hear about your RSVPs. Maybe some will come this weekend.

To be honest with you.... about your shower gift from your FSIL, I know I wouldnt be upset with a $100 gift. I could see how you would be upset that it was sent late, but at least they sent you something. I am not the type of person that expects things so I would just be happy with whatever was given to me. Thats JMHO.

eta.. i didnt see the part about your possible layoff till i reread your post. I am soo sorry to hear that too

WedHead Posted: Apr 08, 2005 11:02 PM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

I think you need a day at the spa - just for you! How many RSVPs are you waiting on? I would go ahead and send out B list invites. An invitation is an invitation - just do it immediately so they have time to respond.

Also, as far as the $100 shower gift. I think that's a generous gift from someone who didn't attend the shower, even if others did give more. Plus, I think it's nice that you got $ instead of a gift - now you can go do something special for yourself.

It's right around the corner, I hope you have the opportunity to enjoy the last month of your engagement - it's an exciting time!

SomethingBlu Posted: Apr 08, 2005 11:08 PM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

Posted by WedHead

I think you need a day at the spa - just for you! How many RSVPs are you waiting on? I would go ahead and send out B list invites. An invitation is an invitation - just do it immediately so they have time to respond.

Also, as far as the $100 shower gift. I think that's a generous gift from someone who didn't attend the shower, even if others did give more. Plus, I think it's nice that you got $ instead of a gift - now you can go do something special for yourself.

It's right around the corner, I hope you have the opportunity to enjoy the last month of your engagement - it's an exciting time!

I have to absolutely agree with her.

Sweetie, it will be wonderful, magical and a dream come true - no matter who comes! I am sure that those who do attend will shower you and your FH with love, caring and it will be a wonderful time. Try to relax and don't stress too much, there's still time!

Bunnymonkey Posted: Apr 08, 2005 11:10 PM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

You are so close. Hang in there, this part is not supposed to be easy!

Do something nice for yourself this weekend and decompress a bit - if you let these feelings continue to build, you are going to explode.

ML110 Posted: Apr 08, 2005 11:23 PM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

i agree with the others... i think $100 is an excellent shower gift... especially from somebody who didn't come to the shower- they really didn't HAVE to send you anything.
with the possibility of getting laid off, you of all people should realize that there are more important things in life than the amount somebody gives you for a gift... be grateful for whatever you are given.

ML110 Posted: Apr 08, 2005 11:26 PM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

also... forgot to add that if SIL lives in florida... you have to remember that the cost of living down there is WAAAAAY cheaper than up in the northeast, and they do weddings a lot different down there, so they probably have no clue what an 'acceptable' gift on LI is.... just another reason to cut them some slack

Katherine121 Posted: Apr 08, 2005 11:26 PM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

Honey I'm getting married a week after you, and I am STILL waiting on RSVPs also. Although my guarantee wasn't as high as yours. You still have time to mail out invites if you want to. It will all work out! Don't worry.

May05Bride Posted: Apr 08, 2005 11:27 PM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

I am sorry you are having problems with RSVPs.

Bebalina Posted: Apr 08, 2005 11:29 PM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

Posted by ML110

also... forgot to add that if SIL lives in florida... you have to remember that the cost of living down there is WAAAAAY cheaper than up in the northeast, and they do weddings a lot different down there, so they probably have no clue what an 'acceptable' gift on LI is.... just another reason to cut them some slack

thanks doll..i would agree with you, but unfortunately they got married out there too, and know what weddings cost, what i didnt say is this FBIL and FSIL 's second marriage

FBIL's first wedding was at the millridge, and FSIL first wedding was at crest hollow, and lived in NY for years, just moved to FL, a few yrs ago. so i just dont get it. I'm not a greedy person at all, if anybody else did id be so greatful, wouldnt even be upset if they didnt send something if they didnt show, but just feel more insulted that its his brother, someone u expect more from is all.

bluesashbride Posted: Apr 08, 2005 11:37 PM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

Posted by Future_Mrs_B

Sorry to hear about your RSVPs. Maybe some will come this weekend.

To be honest with you.... about your shower gift from your FSIL, I know I wouldnt be upset with a $100 gift. I could see how you would be upset that it was sent late, but at least they sent you something. I am not the type of person that expects things so I would just be happy with whatever was given to me. Thats JMHO.

eta.. i didnt see the part about your possible layoff till i reread your post. I am soo sorry to hear that too

ditto

N.Y.bride Posted: Apr 09, 2005 07:26 AM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

First , and more
Second, I would call the CHCC and see if they will reduce your minimum. It wouldnt hurt to give it a shot before you send out the B list.
How many are you waiting on?

Happybride2005 Posted: Apr 09, 2005 07:48 AM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

can't get someone to watch the dogs??? if i had a wedding out of town and i had pets, i would ask a friend to check in on the pet a few times a day. can she do that

micmar Posted: Apr 09, 2005 08:51 AM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

Posted by Future_Mrs_B

To be honest with you.... about your shower gift from your FSIL, I know I wouldnt be upset with a $100 gift. I could see how you would be upset that it was sent late, but at least they sent you something. I am not the type of person that expects things so I would just be happy with whatever was given to me. Thats JMHO.

I agree 100%....but I hope you get more RSVPs that are yes. It's tough, but it could be because May is such a popular month for communions, graduations etc. Or people just could be late replying....if you have to, call people or send out invites from the 'B list' People know you have to cut it off, so I don't think they'd be insulted.

Darcy Posted: Apr 09, 2005 09:04 AM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

First, to make you feel like you are not alone... my own brother never responded to my invitation. No call, nothing.

Well, we had the same problem. We invited too many people and then a bunch could not come. And then we had to invite peopl by phone and such. I explained that I have a big family and a small window of # of guests and it made it hard to invite people.
Don't feel bad about inviting people now.

Personally, the money thing I think you are overreating to. Honestly, if someone sent me 100 dollars just for a shower I would have a party. I am not expecting alot at all from anyone. People aren't rich you know.

But I would be sad she can't make it to the wedding. But...I don't know if she is actually close to your FH. Anyway, don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

The job things ***** and there are major hugs there.

Scooter Posted: Apr 09, 2005 11:30 AM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

I know it's hurtful when people RSVP that they're not coming, but, the main thing is that on your wedding day, you'll be surrounded by people who truly love you and would spend money/travel just to be with you on your special day.

I agree with trying to reduce the minimum person guarantee first. Just tell your reception site that you're going to need to reduce the minimum & you'll cut out hors d'oeuvres or something else so that the price per person doesn't go up.

Good luck!!

Summer05 Posted: Apr 09, 2005 11:38 AM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

Im sure that there will be people who will respond late. Maybe you can buys some print your own invites and send them to people on a 'B' list with a new RSVP date so that it is not as obvious that they were asked later. Good luck!

eric'sbride Posted: Apr 09, 2005 11:51 AM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

I would send those invites out anyway and I would do it quickly so they have time to respond.

As far as the gift, I would be very happy with a $100 check no matter who it came from. Most of the people that I know don't have that kind of money to spend on a shower gift and I didn't even register for the china to complete my set because a placesetting of it is way too expensive for me to expect from anyone.

As far as the job goes, I'm sending hugs and prayers. What an awful thing to have to worry about right now. But, I was supposed to be layed off (job elimination) over a year ago and they re-evaluated the situation and kept us all! Just trying to send a ray of hope. Hope the same happens to you!

cjik Posted: Apr 09, 2005 11:58 AM

Re: I wanna cry...well I already have, and now I can't stop

Agreed, you still have time to mail invites if they go out soon, the wedding is a month away.

As for the gift, I think getting FH and you an item of some sort rather than money may have been nicer, but let's face it, you can probably use the money quite a bit right now. $100 is a decent amount in my opinion, I wouldn't be insulted by it.