I want my FH to stop smoking

cluelessbride Posted: May 05, 2004 08:00 PM

I want my FH to stop smoking

I am so afraid he will die young - heart and lung disease run in his family. He gets angry when I bring it up too often.

ChristineC68 Posted: May 05, 2004 08:12 PM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

It's such a hard thing to do and you have to wait until you're ready. I know - I've been there and my DH nagged at me for ages and it did nothing to inspire me to quit smoking.

cluelessbride Posted: May 05, 2004 08:13 PM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

Did you finally quit?

ChristineC68 Posted: May 05, 2004 08:28 PM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

Yes, next month will be a year

hbradio Posted: May 05, 2004 08:29 PM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

I am going through the same thing - its always on my mind. He says hell quit before hes 30 and hes bday is in July. I cant imagine it will be a fun process and I know damage has already been done since he has been smoking since he was 15 but I cant wait til July.

cluelessbride Posted: May 05, 2004 08:32 PM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

Christine congratulations!!

It is so hard, I want to cry really.

RedHead Posted: May 05, 2004 08:32 PM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

I am sorry but i would be a nag. I don't care. Will that make him change NOPE. He has to make that decision o his own. But i would always talk about it. My parents were HUGE smokers...3 years AFTER my mom stopped she got lung cancer. Thankfully she was able to have surgery and the tumor was removed but most people aren't that lucky. After that everyone in my extended and immediate family quit..Sad that it took almost losing someone we love to make them stop.

I didn't mean to lecture but i am very sensitive on this subject
good luck

cluelessbride Posted: May 05, 2004 08:37 PM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

I feel like I can see the future and it's me standing around and him coughing all over the place with an oxygen tank.

dm24angel Posted: May 05, 2004 08:48 PM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

Nagging doesnt do much, but talking about it does...Im a smoker and would give anything to have the willpower to stop...I always say I will before I have children, I would never expose that to a child or let them think that because I smoke that its ok for them, because they will see it...ANYWAY....my FH does not smoke and he nags and nags and I get mad, BUT when he sits down and says to me he knows it must be hard and what can he do and can I at least try to reduce it etc...I listen and so far I'm doing it a little at a time...and he knows talking rationally about it is now the right way to do it...

belle31125 Posted: May 05, 2004 09:01 PM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

FH has given me until our wedding to quit and I am determined to do it!

Imagin916 Posted: May 06, 2004 12:06 AM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

Its so hard to quit..just keep supporting him, but dont nag him. My ex used to nag and argue with me about it, and the cigarettes I used to enjoy most were the ones that I had right after he left.

Nagging doesn't work. Period. Dont do it, you will drive him crazy.

He will quit when he is ready, just be there to support him when he needs you.

One question though..

Did your FH's start smoking while you were dating, or did they start before you met?

Jodi73 Posted: May 06, 2004 06:42 AM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

Posted by belle31125

FH has given me until our wedding to quit and I am determined to do it!

I gave my DH until our wedding which was this past November and unfortunately he is still smoking and it makes me very scared about the future. He NEVER smokes in front of me and tries to cover it up really good.

cluelessbride Posted: May 06, 2004 07:39 AM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

He's been smoking since college, I guess since he was about 18. We met when he was 25 abd I used to smoke then too. I quit about 4 years ago (by using Zyban - it was fantastic) and now I will occasionally have a cigarette if I have a drink.

FH got a prescription for Zyban from his doctor but he says he's not ready to use it.

For those who don't know aboutit: Zyban is a prescription medication that you take and you can still smoke while you take it, and eventually (maybe with in 2-4 weeks) you simply have no desire for a cigarette. It worked for me, I'd even TRY to smoke and I'd be luck YUCK! Very strange.

dm24angel Posted: May 06, 2004 07:55 AM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

I Was allergic to the Zyban ( scary experience) but it does work from what I hear...when I tried to quit I was using the Zyban( for that one day) , the patch and an inhaler all at the same time...Suffolk County gave me the stuff for free ( part of their smoking program)..they tell you to use any things ( nicotine products) as will help you...
I hope we ( all us smokers) can quit!

november12003 Posted: May 06, 2004 08:56 AM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

I would constantly harrass DH about smoking. First he said he'd quit once we got engaged. Then I got thyroid cancer, and I thought that might do it. Then it was when we moved in together...then after the wedding. Nothing I said worked. But then he'd have a cigarette before we went somewhere, get in the car and I would be totally repulsed. One day, I just started crying in the car, telling him that I hated what he was doing to himself, and now it was at the point that I was repulsed by him once we would get in the car and I didn't want to feel that way about my husband. Well, that must have done it...he hardly smokes anymore. I think he does occasionally when I'm not around, but it's much better than it used to be...and he's much healthier!

oneday Posted: May 06, 2004 09:41 AM

Re: I want my FH to stop smoking

I know how you feel. When DH and I starting dating 10 years ago, he smoked. He knew I didn't like it - we were friends first and I alwyas gave him a hard time about it (actually, I used to give al my friends who smoked a hard time - I would steal cigarettes from them when we were out - I'd usually give it back, but it drove them nuts - I'll admit I was a PITA!!) But anyway, when we first started dating, i'd try to give him stuff like lollypops to use a a substitute and I didn't really nag, just sort of would mention it. He knew how much I hated it so he generally wouldn't do it when I was with him. When I moved in together, I think by then he told me he had quit but then I'd find him smoking and I would get so mad, I wouldn't talk to him (in big part it was more the fact that he was lying about it.) Every once in a while he'll still have one - he alwyas seems to think I won't find out and can't understand how easy it is to smell it no matter how many times he brushes his teeth or how many lifesavers he pops.
both my parents smoked and I HATED it!!! I still do and still get on my dad about it, but I really would have to say in most cases, nagging doesn't really work. Just try and let him know how strongly you feel about it and tell him how much it would mean to you if he could make the attempt to stop.
Good luck!!!!!